Please tell me the truth about car seats…

[PrincessFionaCharming]

…for kids aged 8+

I have a nearly-10 year old. She’s fairly average height in her class. She still uses a high backed booster for long car journeys on the motorway etc, and she has a booster cushion thing in our second car which we literally use for the 5 minute school run when it’s raining and that’s it.

My understanding is that this is the law. But Literally NONE of her friends appear to use a car seat these days. Booster cushion or otherwise. They just leap into the front seat when they are picked up and off they go.

I have always been super strict about car seats. My daughter has never really complained about her car seat, she just gets on with it and that’s the way it is. She has recently asked a few times however why she’s not allowed to sit in the front (or back) with no seat when her friends are. I just say that’s up to their parents but I don’t think
it’s the safest option.

But honestly, what is the truth here? Are most 9-10 year olds still using car seats?? Is that the reality? I genuinely assumed they were, If it’s the law, but now I’m not sure!

Inverse snobbery adds nothing to these threads.

@Scottishwildcat @Lavender2021 Hope you don’t mind me jumping in! I had this pic saved on my phone which I found really helpful 😊 Obviously the 36kg seats will be your longest lasting options 😊 We personally have the Britax MaxSafe Pro and our high centile 4yo is very comfy in it. I still have a spacer that comes with it that can installed infront of the seat to give extra legroom that he is nowhere near needing yet so I know we’ll get a long while out of it 😊

I'm glad you've started this. My just turned 9yr old (130cm) keeps asking why she still has a hbb when none of her friends at school or dance have anything. I have also witnessed this. I've done the whole it's the law and if we ever crash I want to know that I did everything possible to keep you safe, plus we do a lot of motorway driving. Even her dad has tried to question whether she really needs it, despite giving him the same explanation. So a few weeks ago I told him to take out the tape measure and I read them both what the .gov website says while they were stood there. I've compromised and she hops in the back when there are children around, then I pull over up the road and she climbs back in her seat 🙈.

🫣

My 9 year old is over 135cm so occasionally sits in the front for short journeys. But still has a car seat in the back.

Most accidents happen within something like 5km from home so I never understand the logic of using a car seat for a long trip but not everyday local driving. You could be hit by a truck 1km from home or drive the length of the country with no problem.

People saying about young children in the front check your car manual as some don't allow it. It's generally not recommended to have children under 12 in the front due to the airbags.

I don't understand this. Accidents can happen anywhere!

We were the family that made our DCs use booster seats until the law said they didn't need to. Loads of their friends didn't. We even had one of their friend's mums letting FOUR of them squeeze into the back seat together on one journey. They never got into that car again!
Car seats are a funny one as they law is there for a reason but many parents seem to think they know better about how the impact in a car crash will affect their child. You do you, OP. Just keep with the mantra of "I don't care what other parents do, they aren't my kid, you are"

I think to depends on height rather than age.

My 7 year old girl is 132cm and no way will she be out of a car seat soon. I will stick to the European 150cm till I let her in the car without a car seat. Only once has she ever been in a car without a car seat which was this year when she became really ill while our car was in the garage and I needed to get a taxi to the drs. I felt on edge the whole 6 minute drive. I did not feel comfortable at all. If she hadn't have been too ill we would have walked in the rain.

Dd1 is 9, 140cm and she still uses a high back one. She has just got too large for it (I said it was her thick winter coat but in fairness she looks a bit squashed without it too!). I think the backs remove from ours to make it an isofix booster. She has questioned it a few times but I have told her that is is safer. And she can see out the window better which she agreed with!

Neither dc will be in the front for a while, the back seats are just safer. We are very lax with some parenting things but not cars. Dh was in a horrible car crash some years ago and we both agree that as we can make being in cars safer for dc, we will.

I also have a booster seat for when we take one of dds friends out. He doesn't use any kind of seat in his car and goes in the front. He is too large for a high back booster but it's my car so I want him safe.

Things to remember lots of cars seem to be badly designed for seat belts, esp in the back seats, where you can't lift the seat up.

I can only guess its because they are designed for adult males, broader shoulders and no boobs. Boobs get in the way of seat belts.

Lots of females in the UK don't ever reach 150cm (4ft 11), which I'm sure is part of the reason UK law is 135cm (4ft 5).
I have a couple of friends who are barely 4ft 10.

Might be a Scottish thing and I did see a comment on MN about someone going to a Scottish wedding and none of the females were over 5ft 2.
But a lot of the Asian ladies also seem to be on the shorter side too.

Yet you post his photo on random message boards with no concern for his digital privacy

there was literally no need for a photo of your child

the mind boggles

I read something which said whilst 135cm is the law in this country, European countries and science suggest a booster seat is sensible to 150cm.
My 9 year old, almost 10 is 135cm and will do without a booster for a short 2-3 minute drive as an emergency. However, standard in this house is 150cm

I don't care what her friends do.

Ironically, the only thing to make ds question why he still has a car seat (up to 36kg) was the car safety webinar at school trying to persuade the Y5/6s not to try to ditch car seats until the appropriate height.

He's quite happy with the explanation that it makes him safer, and he'll be in it until high school (over a year away) or weight limit reached, whichever comes first.

Definitely agree there's a bit of competition over "my child doesn't need that babyish thing anymore" (or there is where I live, anyway!) and I just don't get it.

I'm not even that fussed about car seats. I know that the risk to child car passengers in the UK is absolutely tiny, even in suboptimal car seats (eg forward facing at 2, simple booster at 6).

But keeping my DC in their HBB until they literally grew out of them was so simple, and reduced that tiny risk to minuscule, so why wouldn't I?

Yes my kids use car seats up to 150cm thats usually age 12/13. The law may be 135cm or age 12 but safety is 150cm.

We have this at my DCs’ school! Glad it’s not just me. DC1 is literally just over 135cm and is one of the taller ones in his class (age 8) but most of his friends have been without car seats for well over a year.

I refuse to get rid of ours on safety grounds, especially as much of our driving is on high speed roads (appreciating the logic that most accidents happen within a short distance of home but I suspect the consequences of being without a seat would be even greater at higher speed). But my family think I’m weird as DC2 was RF to 4 (and would have been for longer if I could have got away with it).

DD has just turned 12 and there's no way she would have fitted in a high back booster for a lot of years now. I can't remember exactly when we got rid of it but it was the point where her shoulders weren't fitting under the headrest part comfortably with it at max extended height. Think it was the lower end of junior school age and we were some of the last on the school run to be using them.

My kids are very tall though - easily top of the growth chart curves (I blame their father).

Once mine got to 135cm they stopped using boosters. I measured them to check. My dd is 9 very nearly 10 and she's 140cm and I'd say mid range height in her class. At 10 I'd say most kids are over 135cm but not all, of course.

If she still fits in the seat correctly I'd carry on using it until she is too tall. This is what we've done with both of our boys. We figure it's safer in the booster for as long as possible.

@NavyPeer digital privacy, you do realise that the whole country is covered in CCTV? We could be at the park and someone could take a picture of him in the background unknowingly and then post to social media.
There's no such thing as true digital privacy.

I think it also depends on the car - my dc are both just above the 135cm mark so don't require anything by law - they sit perfectly comfortably in the back of dhs car without a booster but definitely still need it in my car - for safety and comfort. In fact one is still holding on to their high back booster by choice

My ds was 10 1/2 and to be honest 134cm in stocking feet not 135 when circumstances meant we stopped using his booster seat. I insisted till then even though none of his friends (all taller) needed one.