No phone for secondary school

[StillCreatingAName]

AIBU? I feel like I might be missing something obvious on this one, but honestly why do children need to take a smartphone to school? It’s baffling me as to why there appears to be parents on auto pilot buying their children smartphones (£££) now in year 6, ready for year 7 as though it’s part of a uniform policy (and then sharing their purchase on the class WhatsApp, give me strength).

Is this all just a fallout from lockdown times, people were sort of forced into screen life, so now there’s more children at secondary school with them, who may not have ordinarily had a phone until older?
I’m expecting dc to walk home with friends talking and socialising without the inclusion of a screen or mindlessly scrolling social media instead of listening to friends. I can see where a basic phone might be needed to contact home, but that doesn’t mean the phone should be out of school bag anytime during school hours should it, but maybe I’m just being naive, time will tell 🤷‍♀️?

AIBU to say children don’t need to get a £££ phone for starting secondary school? (It goes without saying they don’t need it at all for primary school, IMHO)?

Thought phones are no longer allowed at schools at any point (as in - no one should take a phone out of their backpack etc)?

They use apps for their homework and messages from school though. Also there's the social side of it, keeping in touch with friends.
Also safety reasons for getting home - my DD uses a public bus so needs to be able to get in touch if there's a problem and yes the bus has broken down a couple of times and I've had to go and get her (rural area so not a lot of bus options).
You don't need to spend a lot though, we got her a refurbished phone.
But I do think that phones should be on silent in bags during lessons

^^
Repeating this for anyone who missed it! ^

So important we don't just cave and say it's too hard / the genie is out of the bottle / it's down to parents monitoring phones. Tech companies deliberately target children and up till now they've had ZERO consequences. We have been utterly powerless but no more! Collective action supported by governments is the only way. If 28 out of 30 parents in a class say no to a smartphone then the 2 kids with them will be outliers and ergo our kids won't feel left out.

There seems to be no compelling argument as to why it needs to be a smartphone in any year, let alone year 7

I can give you one, admittedly very specific, compelling argument @StillCreatingAName. DD2 uses her smartphone to monitor her T1 diabetes – the blood sugar monitor and her insulin pump work using Bluetooth technology to send alerts to her phone when she is too high or too low. For this tech to function, she has to have the phone very near her (ie shut in a teacher's desk drawer at the front of the class would not do) and switched on all the time. HTH

Not at all likely to happen. Unrealistic. Just as people who objected to computers back in the eighties were unrealistic.

Yes they could. In my daughter's school they will provide a tablet to use during the day for school apps if anyone doesn't have a phone, and there's school wifi.
But my daughter's phone is pretty much crucial for her social life, your child will be left out if they don't have a phone for keeping in touch with their friends. Fitting in is a massive big deal for teenagers.
We have parental controls set up on her phone and she isn't allowed to go on it after 9pm (child lock), will not take these controls off until she's 16 and done her GCSEs!

@tishtashtoo I seriously don't think this is realistic at secondary where literally curricula involve a device.

I was involved in a primary school movement and we have been successful.

But my sons secondary school, his gym, his access to the bus etc are all on his phone. I would be encouraging parents to secure primary school as there is a real chance but I do feel at 13 (secondary age Ireland) the phone is their key to so much and i don't see how everything could or even should be rolled back.

At my dcs’ secondary school they use them a lot in lessons, all timetables and homework are on the app along with messages about things like cancelled sports practice. They wouldn’t know what was going on without one. I don’t like it but it’s the way it is. Plus all the other dc have one and they swap Snapchat rather than phone numbers. So they’ll be left out socially if they don’t have one.

I don’t love it, but it’s very difficult for dc in secondary without one.

I think specific permission for phones used as a medical device would be given though, even though I know people who use a dex and it’s essential.

It’s not even that others will deliberately leave them out, op, it’s more that they’ll be out of the loop, will miss things as people won’t think to send a separate message to the one person who needs a text, etc.

I felt the same and didn’t get my son a smart phone until year 9! I feel bad now. I’ve relaxed a bit about it all…. Even a smart phone doesn’t have to be that bad. Was £100 so nothing fancy, data is £7 per month. Absolutely no social media and my younger daughter doesn’t have google or anything either. But she does use it for chatting with friends, listening to music etc and I have restrictions in place like shut down 7.30-7.30. It’s not so bad. I think it makes it harder for them to organise their social life with no phone…. It’s just how it is done now. I even made them sign a contract agreeing to phone rules as was so nervous about it. But actually, it’s ok!

This is 100 percent an exception. For the record, my colleague at work uses this as a type 1 diabetic so I’m across how good this is as a positive technology tool.

Thanks, this is all useful to know. My original question being, do they have to have phones, specifically smartphones for secondary school?

It seems like, yes some children do in order to retain real life friends 😒 not just randoms online.

Smart phones are used a lot for work at my DS’s secondary school. Homework app, “MyMaths”, various other apps for different work.

Plus all the other dc have one and they swap Snapchat rather than phone numbers. So they’ll be left out socially if they don’t have one.

but in year 7, age 11/12 relying on social media? Left out if they’re not on social media? Then left out my child will be, as there’s no way they’re having a dependency on sm in year 7, apart from being under the guidance age for certain apps.
why would any parent think this ok and not want to change that?

As has already been said, of course they don't have to have them. They are not a required piece of equipment.

Your child is, however, likely to be at a significant disadvantage without one for all of the reasons already explained. You don't seem to be taking much of it on board though as you are determined to stick to your "no compelling reason" argument. Which does not hold water.

The best compromise is to have a cheap smartphone (it can be a reconditioned one or a hand-me-down) on a cheap contract, with parental controls and which you check reasonably often.

There is a middle ground between not having a phone and having the latest most expensive phone with no restrictions.

mine are 13, 15 and 17 and have all had smart phones since the middle of year 6.

getting them towards the end of primary school meant that they and thier friends could get to grips with texting and all the subtext. Tone of voice is hard to convey via text so all those ‘mistakes’ were done with kids that they had grown up with and not new friends who might misunderstand someone’s message. We and other parents would read the phones at the end of the day and could pick up on inappropriate language etc.

intol they are 16 the phones shut off at bed time so only things that can be used are alarm clock etc

as a family we all have each other on find my iPhone. Not for stalker tracking but does give piece of mind that we can see where each other at if needed or if like DS1 you drop your phone in a field!

no apps can be installed without a message to mine and DH phone and a code entered. Means we can review the apps they want to install and discuss with them the ones we don’t agree with

the phone data accounts and our home WiFi are locked down so inappropriate sites can’t be viewed. Does mean there are some sites that I can’t access that are included for whatever reason.

now I’m not naive enough to believe that the above measures mean my kids are immune to the pressures of social media and the dangers of online. We also talk to them about such things and put trust in them. Unfortunately this is the world we live in and I do believe it is better to equip them with the tools and knowledge to navigate modern life safely than to completely shield them and then let them loose with they turn 18 and have no idea what they are doing whilst others are more savvy.

They can have WhatsApp without having stuff like FB, Snapchat, Twitter (X) or Tik Tok (I certainly wouldn't have been happy about Tik Tok but thankfully it wasn't around when mine were that age). Then you can just allow the apps that school requires.

Nothing that you do will totally protect them from seeing these things, but you can still control much of what is on your child's phone.

You can start to allow more stuff after a couple of years if you and they are comfortable with it, or see a reason for it. You might find too that many schools update parents a fair bit via social media these days too. My DD's school did begin using Twitter for this, especially if they were on a residential trip. Then all updates would go on the Twitter pages, including from the 10 day South Africa trip that my DD went on. So that's the sort of thing you will also eventually need to consider.

Mine got a phone when they turned 11 and had to start getting to school by themselves.
Just for emergencies.
I don't know what other schools are like, but smartphones are pretty much needed now seeing as all homework seems to be set on them via apps such as Show My Homework.

The school should supply ample tech for learning. The phone is personal and not required. It should be phones in bags, on silent and only out on breaks in school anyway.
If the kids claim it's for 'needing to communicate with family' then send them in with a brick dumb phone. I might sound old fashioned but in school you do your lessons, not your hobbies. If you want to socialise do it face to face on break.

I'm sorry, but parents who refuse to allow their children a phone at high school are a pain in the arse.
It simply puts the responsibility onto other people. Like when their kid is out with my kid, and they don't know where their kid is or what time they're expected back, or if they need to pass on a message.

We don't do smart phones in our family until nearer the end of secondary school. No regrets.

Where are you living that schools have ample money to supply ample tech for learning? Here in the UK schools have barely any funds for books, let alone anything more.

My two teens listen to music through their mobile phones in bed at night with their headphones on. They have to have PC/consoles switched off 9pm. Phones have their functions for different things.

At schools it's expected from S1 to have a mobile phone as they get issued homework on different apps and also I like to track where they are for safety reasons at that age. Cheap android would do. None of us own expensive phones.