To think I’m entitled to child maintenance?

[Blondeyoghurt]

Hey all,

I honestly have no idea if I’m wrong or right on this one so please be gentle!

I have a nearly 4 year old with my ex (never married). He’s decided today that when she goes to school, he’s not going to pay the privately agreed child maintenance anymore. He’s told me he’s spoken to CMS and they have informed him that if I put a claim in they would just shut it down straight away, as we share our child 50/50 (this does differ sometimes as he has on call duties in his job, so may have a couple extra days with me or my mum etc).

He’s on an extremely healthy wage (just over double mine), and I am the receiver of child benefit.

I was sure that even with 50/50 custody, he would still have to pay to me - is this wrong?

I have absolutely no idea and I don’t want to cause a stir without knowing exactly where I stand.. the websites aren’t too clear in this instance😭

help please!

I am not very knowledgeable about this, but I think 50:50 means no maintenance?

Put your details in here and it will tell you

www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance

People seem to think 50/50 means no maintenance - it doesn’t, it depends on income.

Put the numbers into the CMS calculator it’ll tell you.

People seem to think 50/50 means no maintenance - it doesn’t, it depends on income.

Put the numbers into the CMS calculator it’ll tell you.

I think he’s correct going by loads of posts I’ve seen. I also think it’s unfair, but that’s by the by.

What a prince of a man not wanting to pay anything toward his child.

For 50/50 the norm is no maintenance and if you’ve never married you wouldn’t get any. That being said I’m not an expert- just a single mum myself. If I were you I’d get proper advice.

I do think if he earns more than you it’s a bit of dick move as it means your child will have a significantly more affluent life in one home than the other.

I’d just put the claim in anyway, he’s probably just trying to put you off. It’s based on overnight stays in a year… so really unless it’s literally 3 nights one house, four nights another and visa versa then it’s not totally 50/50

I always assumed 50/50 was a no maintenance paid situation - I'm no expert though, just have a few friends in those situations.

How is it unfair? If they both provide a home 50/50 and split costs for the kid’s stuff then why is it unfair?

If he's got 50/50 contact then he's probably doing his bit?

Even on 50/50 if he’s earning say £70k he’d have to pay around £200 a month, so it’s well worth putting in a claim for CMS.

If she’s not there 50% of the time due to his work it will be higher, but you need to work out exactly how many nights a year he has.

I’m sorry… but how? He has the child 50/50. He is paying for the child half the time and providing for the child half the time. What? Is he also meant to pay for mum’s half too?

Does he/will he be paying 50% of expenses relating to your DD - clothes/activities/hobbies/school uniform/school expenses/, etc ?

Oh and also - he was apparently told that the calculator you can use online is incorrect? Because I have tried this and even when I put the option of half and half time, it says he still needs to pay x amount. But I’m not sure if that’s reliable enough now? This is all very confusing!

I mean, if you genuinely care 50/50 each why would you be entitled to maintenance and not him? Why shouldn't you pay him? Just because he earns more?

But he is paying for his child if he has it 50% of the time…. Why should one person pay the other person if they’re both doing equal parenting?

I mean I’m not too keen on going into detail here but please don’t assume he is paying and providing in the time that he has her.. some people have their kids just because they “have to” but yeah

I’m really not here to slate anyone etc, I just want to find out if I’m entitled to anything or best to just keep the peace and not say anything.

in terms of splitting costs I’m not entirely sure we would no, i think that is and would be 75% all me

How much is an extremely healthy wage?

If we are talking a seriously significant amount most people would contribute to their child living a decent quality of life regardless if they were physically with them or not. I certainly would want my money to benefit my children above anything else.

You have nothing to loose by at least putting in for the claim. The worst that can happen is they can say no you're not entitled to any CMS.

You won’t lose anything by putting in a claim, the worst that’ll happen is you’ll get nothing, which is what you’ll also get by not putting a claim in.

@Blondeyoghurt your child may, in fact, be entitled. Please do your own research, don't think he'll be necessarily giving you the correct advice. 😊

https://watson-thomas.co.uk/help-and-advice/31-help-and-advice-children/182-child-maintenance-when-you-have-an-equal-share-in-parenting

eta current calculator; www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance

I wasn’t too sure if I could put the claim in without him being made aware or not? Very conscious of rocking the boat unnecessarily

If it's 50/50 then I don't see how you would be entitled to anything, but I'm not expert.

As long as you both have equal opportunity to work etc. then both parents should be funding themselves surely?

Oh that is a helpful read thank you!