In laws and baby's first steps

[Timeforsomecoffee]

First of all, there is a huge back story anyway.

But my question is, if you were a mil/fil, would you have done this?

Baby close to taking his first steps but hadn't done it yet. Mil and fil had been banging on for ages about how we needed to get him walking, he should be walking by now bla bla bla. Doing the arm dangling thing every time we saw them.

Baby was 13 months and standing independently so well on track with his development.

On a visit they decided to stand him between them, coaxing him between them (while I was gone to the toilet) then when I and back announced proudly that he'd taken his first steps.

It's not something I would get worked up about TBH.

A have a bunch of belters @Emotionalsupportviper

Twat? Is that better @Pottedpalm honestly when your really cross just shout it, it will make you instantly better. Imagine coming home from work and taking off your bra or your bobble out of your hair. That instant relief when you just go 'ahhhhhhhh' it's like that.

Oh hang about!! Your a Karen aren't you. I'll go get the manager

Karen as a derogatory term is likely to result in a pile on. You have been warned !!

Oh hang about!! Your a Karen aren't you. I'll go get the manager

I don't usually do this, but if you are going to insult someone please use the correct grammar

I've been a nanny for 25 years, caring for babies from birth to school age. I have never seen a babies first steps. I always leave that to the parents to see... 😉

Your IL's are a bit mean imo.

How tactless you must be to think this is bizarre. As an 18 year old au pair I witnessed the youngest child's first steps while mum was at work. Even then I didn't tell baby's mum when she got back from work. And she was so excited to the point of tears to see baby's first steps the following weekend, and share that experience with her family. I'm so glad I didn't take that experience away from her. If a teenager can understand that it's a special experience for the parents of the baby, why can't you? What a dickhead thing to do while mum is actually in the house like OP's in laws did.

And a baby's first steps is only relevant health information if baby is very delayed. So a 2 year old walking for the first time is not the same as a 15 month old.

Smug gits. Does he go to nursery, or have you spent time with a friend recently? Because I would be tempted to tell your in-laws that you were telling your friend about him taking his first steps, and your friend said he actually walked in front of her last week but she didn't want to say anything.

Yes same... I would find it really patronising and strange for that to be hidden from me. I'm not 7. My son is 2 but I can't even really remember any 'first steps', he just wobbled about falling over for ages, loads of people probably thought they saw his first steps😂My mum always told me things he'd apparently said when I wasn't around. I either ignored it/thought it was sweet that she seemed to think he was so advanced!!

This is mean.
My DH was a SAHD. Our DD walked for the first time when I was at work.
He didn’t say anything and made sure she did it later when I was there and I had that moment too.
There is no need for what your PIL did.

I asked nursery to let me know if he took his first steps there. I’m not sentimental though and just wanted to know when it was the actual first time.

It isn’t something I’d get worked up about.

Well that's a dick move. I used to run a home daycare and would NEVER tell parents if their child took their first steps with me.

My friends little boy did his first crawling and first steps when I was looking after him 😱 Both times without coaxing and she still mentions it all these years later 🤣

You told her then?

The crawling, I didn't know he hadn't done , I could've sworn she'd told me he had so i told her how cute he looked doing it, then her face told me 😱 The walking, i also had her teenage daughter who told her mum when she picked them up ( I did tell her daughter not to ) She was obviously gutted she missed both but actually she didn't really mind that it was with me because I am really close with him.

Shitty.

My MIL weaned my first baby, against my express instructions, while I had entrusted him to her for four hours. Her excuse was that breast milk is not sufficiently nutritious and all hers went from formula to Farley's rusks at four months.

Never mind that I had just told her that he was not going to have anything containing wheat until he was six months, that the father and I would be doing the weaning, not anyone else, and that even then, it would not be Farley's fucking rusks!

She was triumphant when he began crying as I took him from the highchair to feed him. He was enjoying those ruddy rusks.

I wouldn’t have minded at all if my children took their first steps in front of someone else. I’d also like to have been told. As someone else said, I’m not a child and my feelings don’t need to be protected. My children are individuals - not my vanity project.

My mother had to go to work (single mum) and put me with a nanny when I was 6 weeks old. Everyone one of my firsts smile, words, crawling, walking etc, mum saw first.

Mum is sure that the nanny saw a few of these first, but if she did she never told her.

My daughter is in daycare, I asked her keyworker not to tell me if she did walk while at nursery, but she told me it was the policy not to tell parents about firsts. They would let me know if they were developing late and needed intervention, but firsts absolutely not.

Also from your posts FIL sounds like a dick and the kind of smug bastard that would lord it over you. Wanker.

This is exactly what it is.
It’s trying to rob Op of “Firsts’, It’s about a power struggle and point-scoring.

Id bet money on the fact he hasn't taken his first steps. I also don't understand how you can "get a baby walking"

This is about a power struggle with in laws- Not about walking per se.

The walking is a side issue, In laws are trying to undermine OP.

Yes this in spades!

First steps only really count when the drive and action are lead by the child, not when goaded into by pushy in-laws. Ie, a voluntary, spontaneous action.

Don’t feel you’ve missed out, OP, you haven’t - but I’m afraid if this were me, I’d be stating quite clearly they have lost my trust and will not be allowed to spend time with my child alone. Not even when I go to the loo. What next? Are they going to start feeding foods you’ve chosen not to yet, or watching cert 12/15 films when DC is only 9?

Your child, your decisions. They’ve clearly shown that they feel they know better than you - and that is unforgivable.

I seem to be in the minority but it wouldn’t bother me at all. My first DC took their first steps with the nanny - I was sent a video while I was at work and it was awesome! I was so excited and proud of her, showed all my colleagues and forwarded it to both sides of the family. With second I was there and it was just as special. I’m mostly just happy they’ve successfully hit a milestone, it doesn’t matter to me much who they’re with when it happens.

Absolutely not. In fact when a friend’s DD took her first steps at my house one day when I was looking after her I kept my mouth shut, and took great pleasure in watching an excited social media video of her taking her ‘first steps’ later that evening.
They’re dicks.

What is wrong with all the pushy grandparents? I had my turn as a parent, DDs are responsible adults, capable of being responsible loving parents so it’s never occurred to me to tell them what their babies or children should or shouldn’t be doing. I honestly don’t get why some GPs behave like this.
And yes it’s shitty behaviour on their part.