Am I unreasonable leaving to drop my dd

[Fellik]

Me and dp have been together 16 months and live an hr apart. This weekend I went on Saturday afternoon and I always have to leave at 5pm on the Sunday to be home for when dd2 arrives home from her Dads house.
DD1 is 15 and often comes with me at the weekend (we have 4 kids between us, so his ds’ were there too, they left around 12 to go back to their mum).
My DD wanted to go to the cinema this weekend with a boy, I said I’d drop her at the train station as dropping her at the cinema was an half and a half round trip for me. Due to train strikes I had to drop DD, meaning I needed to leave at 12.30 and would be back by 2pm, I offered DP to come with me and we could have done something in the city or I’d be back and we could have lunch together before I left.

He hit the roof, because he wanted to go to the gym and didn’t want to go on his own. He was so annoyed that I’d done this he told me not to come back again after I’d dropped her and for me to just go home.

He spends a lot of time complaining that we don’t get enough time together, yet I go to see him 3/4 nights a week and he hasn’t come to see me since the beginning of December because he doesn’t like the fact that my ex used to live in my house (If I could move I would).

I think he’s being completely unreasonable and unable to compromise, or is it just me who was wrong?

So you do all the travel? Do you chauffeur him to the gym and thats what this is about?

The only thing that may have made you unreasonable is if you had already planned to go to the gym with him at that time

What on earth are you doing with a twat like that?

What kind of mad man thinks needs a friend to go to the gym?

He's unhinged

Sounds like a drama queen and control freak. How can he complain about not spending time together when he makes zero effort to come and visit you...and for such a silly childish reason.

YADNBU even if you had made plans to go to the gym beforehand. Plans change. He needs to grow up.

Yes, I do all the travel, usually 3 times a week.
He drives so that wasn’t the issue.
We had no firm plans, but we usually go to the gym together on a Sunday.
He just didn’t want to go alone again, I had offered to meet him at the gym after I’d finished dropping DD, in fact I suggested lots of options - meeting at the gym after, going into the city together, him going to the gym and me meeting him back home for lunch.
Instead he just told me to go and not come back again yesterday.

If we had a firm plan of something that we had planned to go and do, I would have told DD that she couldn’t go but it was just our usual Sunday stuff.

Really op? Re read your own post with fresh eyes and ask what is it he is actually bringing to this relationship.

You did absolutely nothing wrong, part of being a parent is ferrying our kids around to places. He really is acting like a spoilt child, and I suggest he visits you on alternate weekends/dates from now on.

He “hit the roof”? Never know exactly what posters mean when they use euphemisms like this- he shouted? Called you names/swore? He banged his fists on the wall, slammed doors?

Anyway, after 16 months can you really be bothered to be with someone who “hits the roof” with you over anything at all?

Why can’t he go to the gym alone and you meet up after? How does just being present together at the gym while working out constitute ‘quality time’ together. I’d think going out together after the gym would facilitate more interaction between you?

He sounds hard work, and very entitled. Why haven’t you asked him to visit you sometimes? Have you pointed out that you shouldn’t be the one doing all the driving?

Bin him.

Really not ok. Why are you making all the effort in this relationship? There’s no reason why he can’t make the effort to come to yours, who cares isle your ex used to live there. I think you really need to consider if you want to be in this type of controlling and coercive relationship because there are several red flags from what youve posted.

YABU for not just leaving your boyfriend’s early to take your DD1 back to your town. It’s pretty grim that she travels with you to to his at weekends.

Why are you prioritising this loser?

He sounds like an unbelievable twat.

He doesn’t sound great. I would honestly consider if there’s any future in it. He doesn’t sound like a reasonable man.

He sounds awful why are you doing all the running around ? Tell him he needs to visit you.You will soon see how interested he is.You surely can do better than this !

He's fine with you doing the running around for him, but not for your daughter. I'd do what he suggests and never go back, not just for the rest of the day. Dump him.

“he hasn’t come to see me since the beginning of December because he doesn’t like the fact that my ex used to live in my house (If I could move I would).”

I’d bin him off for this nonsense alone!

Get a grip of yourself! What a loser this man is.

Who needs the gym with all the exercise you should be getting running away from this guy? He is making it clear that he expects you to prioritise his silly, petty preferences over your own family.

That's a unanimous 100% YANBU OP. Get rid of him.

Why are you bending over backwards for this knob?

The excuse about not coming to your house because your ex lived there is so pathetic it made me laugh. As is not wanting to go to the gym alone. Is he 12?!

He’s lazy and expects you to do all the running and driving.

Does he at least have all meals lovingly prepared for you when you arrive at his?

And you're still with this charmer because...?

This sounds really concerning.

You tried to offer him plenty of options but because you couldn’t behave exactly as he wanted he lost his temper.

Was this all in front of the children?

How would you feel if your daughter’s date acted like this?