Am I unreasonable leaving to drop my dd

[Fellik]

Me and dp have been together 16 months and live an hr apart. This weekend I went on Saturday afternoon and I always have to leave at 5pm on the Sunday to be home for when dd2 arrives home from her Dads house.
DD1 is 15 and often comes with me at the weekend (we have 4 kids between us, so his ds’ were there too, they left around 12 to go back to their mum).
My DD wanted to go to the cinema this weekend with a boy, I said I’d drop her at the train station as dropping her at the cinema was an half and a half round trip for me. Due to train strikes I had to drop DD, meaning I needed to leave at 12.30 and would be back by 2pm, I offered DP to come with me and we could have done something in the city or I’d be back and we could have lunch together before I left.

He hit the roof, because he wanted to go to the gym and didn’t want to go on his own. He was so annoyed that I’d done this he told me not to come back again after I’d dropped her and for me to just go home.

He spends a lot of time complaining that we don’t get enough time together, yet I go to see him 3/4 nights a week and he hasn’t come to see me since the beginning of December because he doesn’t like the fact that my ex used to live in my house (If I could move I would).

I think he’s being completely unreasonable and unable to compromise, or is it just me who was wrong?

Your life sounds very full on OP. Do you enjoy it and get time to look after yourself and tour own needs?

Life is too short to be dealing with insecure, controlling men. Things do not need to be this way. Team dump him asap.

Almost without fail, when people post about jealous, possessive, stubborn men who are controlling and demanding, they always use the word "amazing" to describe their other behaviours and without fail, this makes it worse.

Of course he treats you "amazingly" well at other times. Except that he doesn't. I don't know at what point you became conditioned to accept "sometimes he pretends or appears to be a normal person" as "amazing", but I can guarantee it only happened so that you let the other awful behaviour go.

He's not a good partner. Sometimes he doesn't behave terribly.

That's probably the best of it.

My eyebrows almost shot off my face reading your OP. What an absolute tool he sounds.

And it's bollocks that he doesn't like coming to your house because your ex used to like there. He just can't be arsed.

He's a man who likes everyone to dance to the beat of his drum. He doesn't want his life disrupted at all.

I can't get over what a dick he was about it all.

Yes, I do often wonder how I’ve managed to get myself into this situation. He does treat me amazingly well most, I’m starting to realise though that it’s only when he is getting his own way

He's literally trained you like a dog,

Sorry but you’ve got yourself into another abusive relationship and need to ditch him.

Yes you are being unreasonable for having a low enough opinion of yourself that you even need to ask. Dump the creep now. Set a better example for your daughter.

I’d like to know why his last relationship/marriage broke down. I can understand frustration at his assumed plans didn’t go to plan, but surely with 4 DC between you, things change depending on their needs. Personally if my Partner told me not to return after drop off, he clearly doesn’t show that he cares for you, sorry.

Sounds like he can't be bothered to put himself out even a tiny bit for some else, you leave his house early to WFH but he refuses to do the same, he wants company at the gym and doesn't care what anyone else wants/needs + zero regards for the fact your choice is either doing what he wants (going to the gym) or doing what you're daughter needs but at no point giving your own wants/needs any consideration, you're just having to choose between taking care of a grown man or a 15yr old. Take care of yourself for a bit OP, doesn't sound like he will.

He's basically jealous of your daughter. Or rather, that you've chosen her over him on this occasion. That's how he'll see it anyway.

He sounds insecure and pathetic.

He thinks your loyalty is solely to him. When you divert your focus from his agenda, he has a tantrum.

Shocking that he should be so self-serving regarding the travel. His excuses are terrible. Selfish thing.

It's impacting on all of you...but you must see that your loyalty is to your kids, not this man who wants it all his own way. He sounds controlling.

I'd do what he says... go straight home... and stay there! He sounds awful OP. He isn't treating you amazingly well. It probably seems not to you as he treats you better than your ex.

Get rid. Just tell him it's not working for you.

Don’t ever move in together, op. He’ll be trying to run your and your dd’s lives quicker than you can say ‘coercive control’.

It doesn’t have to be that deep.

He likes having a compliant woman around.

He has no interest in inconveniencing himself for a woman.

This behaviour sounds like training so that the next time your daughter needs help you will decide it’s less hassle to manage the situation in a way that prioritises his wishes.

You and your children are worth more than this.

Time to put this one in the bin, OP.

This

He doesn't like you prioritising your children over him. Sounds like everything in this relationship is on his terms.

This will get worse and worse. Don't move in with him or you'll be back in a few years asking how to leave. Sorry OP.

I was going to say is he 5 😆
Wouldn’t be driving back there again, what a giant twat.

Doesn’t just make him sound ridiculous - he is ridiculous, what a baby!

Oh god he sounds like my controlling ex. It will only get worse.

Bin. Run. Don't look back.

Honestly OP are you so scared of being single that you would put up with this rubbish in a relatively new relationship?

Cut and run whilst you have no ties to him...he sounds awful!

He sounds awful, and this whole drama sounds like a symptom of a much bigger problem.

Does he make you happy? does he bring stability and love to your family?

He does make me happy, I do often feel like I’m walking on eggshells around him so that I don’t make him unhappy with things that I have to do and I do find myself not telling him a lot of things.
I booked a holiday for myself and the children recently for the summer and realised I haven’t told him as I don’t want to deal with his reaction as he won’t be happy that it falls on days when I would normally be with him.
He does like me to compliant and I’m generally quite passive in doing whatever he wants but there’s times where I have things to go.
After reading all the comments I think perhaps it’s about time I call it a day.

This one's not a keeper, OP.

Throw him back and spend some time alone working on yourself before you enter a new relationship, to ensure you set higher standards next time.