To say what instead of pardon?

[toomanycoffeess]

Or is that rude?

"Sorry I didn't catch that" or "Sorry I didn't hear you" absolutely suffice. I think pardon is one of those words that can actually sound quite harsh without it managing to be. Sometimes it can sound like someone is barking at you like "PARDON" when actually it's their normal tone

You’re about to enter the wonderful world of the British class system and its approach to manners.

The answer to this question will depend on how you were brought up and your parents social class.

Some people consider “what” to be rude and abrupt. Others consider “pardon” to be twee and mealy mouthed and a bit common.

I say life is too short to worry too much about this. I wouldn’t find it rude if you said “what?”

'What?' is upper class.
'Pardon?' is middle class and makes the upper classes wince, along with 'toilet'.

Source - Jilly Cooper

See also “serviette” and “settee”.

It depends how you say it! ‘You what?’ said in an aggressive way is rude, so can ‘Pardon’ be. If you didn’t hear them, say ‘can you repeat that please?’

It’s untrue that UC say ‘what’ and WC say ‘pardon’ these days.

Just be polite in your tone and either will sound better.

I say "what" and so does DS. It annoys me when people 'correct' him to say pardon.

I do think “pardon” sounds incredibly passive aggressive.

I usually say “what?” Or “sorry?”. Don’t find what to be rude at all.

I agree!

This.

I’m not upper class in the slightest but I was taught ‘what’ is correct and ‘pardon’ along with ‘ever so’ are never to be uttered.

@Revelatio

It’s untrue that UC say ‘what’ and WC say ‘pardon’ these days.

I’m pretty sure upper middle and upper class people wouldn’t say “pardon”. It was hammered into me as a child never to say it.

Yes but life if full of rude people now...

Working class. Always say pardon. If any pupils say what, I give them 'the look' and it soon becomes pardon😆

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/U_and_non-U_English

My classroom my rules😆

I hate pardon.
What is much better

'What' is really rude! I say pardon or what was that,sorry? Or even just 'sorry?' with a puzzled look.

Your rules as you say but do you not think a bit of subjectivity might be useful here?

Saying “what?” Isn’t rude or offensive, it’s just something your family doesn’t do. A lot of families would consider “pardon” worse.

I would be mildly ticked off if a teacher corrected my child for saying something I don’t consider rude and asking them to substitute something I don’t like in it’s place. Wouldn’t die in a ditch over it but surely you realise people have different opinions on this. It’s clsss mores as opposed to something which could cause widespread offence.

I'm Irish.. pardon would be taken as you have notions about yourself 😆 What?is probably a bit rude.. "excuse me" is what I say to my children..
My Mam was middle class, born in the late 1940's She said pardon and that "what?'" was extremely rude 🤷🏻‍♀️ she was a very down to earth person though. See also Loo she never used the word toilet I've never used the word loo

"What?" is definitely rude whatever people are trying to tell themselves and others. But people are more commonly rude these days and don't care. My background is very working class, probably considered MC now. Saying "what?" Would have got you in lots of trouble at school and home when I was young and I would definitely have corrected my DC on it.

I was taught that saying “Pardon” was common, but it was impossible to prevent my children from saying it because the carers at nursery insisted on it, quite forcefully, every single time. Ditto with the use of the word toilet instead of lavatory or loo. In the end I don’t suppose it matters really.

I use neither. I usually say "sorry?"

You can’t say pardon, it means something different, it means you’re excusing yourself

I always say "What", never "Pardon" Would not think of saying "Excuse Me" Sounds like an apology. "What" said clearly and in a normal tone of voice covers all.

'Sorry, what did you say' is fine. Just 'what' is really rude in my opinion, I wouldn't even say that to my husband unless I was annoyed with him already!

I don't generally use pardon either though, although was brought up to use it by my very 'working class' mum