I feel like my daughters dance school is inappropriate

[grossedouteurgh]

Got back this evening from my daughter's dance school performance at the local arts center and was horrified.

Prefacing this by saying I have had a few issues in the past with what I feel is money grabbing (introduced a charge of £20 recently to drop kids off in the car park. Their studio is on an industrial estate - why?!! This only serves to put safety at risks/makes money).

Also feel they have such a feeling of superiority and favouritism at the school which I don't think is healthy to foster in teens and pre teens.

Anyway, got home this evening from the Easter dance show and literally feel sick. I've seen more clothes on moulin rouge dancers and the way they had them gyrating over the stage is just gross. I filmed some of it because it genuinely felt like a strip club, and if that was my daughter I'd be horrified (she's still in a class below).

I obviously won't share but we're talking flash dance style, suspenders, gyrating... from 15/16/17 y olds.

It made me feel so awful.

I guess the parents in this situation are brainwashed by the school and it's a step to the next thing?

What can I do? I don't want to let this lie.

I remember when I took dance classes in the nineties (I was around 10) doing a dance to Madonna's Hanky Panky. We had red leotards on and kept smack our bums. We also had riding crops 🤦‍♀️ We also did steamy windows and private dancer by Tina Turner when we were around 12 oh and a full Monty style strip (down to bra and pants) to Donna Summers hot stuff when we were16..

Doesn't sound like much has changed.

I wouldn't let my children be sexualised this way now.

Once they get to 15/16 they'll probably be training them to audition for music videos and stuff, where the costumes and moves can seem, and are very sexualised.
I'd remove her from there. There must be other schools that are more musical theatre, ballet or whatever age appropriate orientated.
I guess in the defense of this school, the older ones could be given more free reign on the theme and dances they perform. But I don't think it sounds healthy, especially with the favouritism and money grabbing.

Centre
Sorry, bad day; just very sick of creeping Americanisation of this country, including incprrect spelling of English words!

I've reported a few. It's still the Easter Holidays.....drunk adults or kids messing around.

That is disgusting. Never heard of dance schools doing this but they are grooming children for the sex ‘industry’ by the sounds of it! How are any parents happy with this? Which region are you in ?

Dance moms series 7 is what PP is referring to. Although, those kids were 14 and 15 (as shouted by Ashleigh as she was walking off)

Not all dance schools are like this and it's possible to pursue a dance career without doing commercial and commercial jazz until you reach professional training. These in IMP are the most sexualised dance styles.
The advanced levels of training audition on ballet and traditional jazz.

I agree it’s gross. Over sexualisation of minors. Pull your dd out and make a complaint- talk to other parents to see if they want to support you. Gather all evidence. My dd is 6 and I dread this sort of thing. I’m not a prude but Iv seen this stuff on sm and at my friends dd class and it’s so inappropriate.

Send an email raising your concerns

Minipops.

DD went to a place like this when she was young, make up like pageant queens on six year olds. Fleecing the parents for costume hire, being in the shows (though drop off in car park is fee is ridiculous). Our final straw was paying for a scrunchy for an exam and then the teacher waiting by the door and plucking the scrunchies off the kids buns - apparently the £6.99 for the scrunchy was to hire it!!

We left and found a wonderful dance school where the children and their mental and physical health comes first. No make up, no slutty costumes, no fees beyond the cost of classes, no fee to be in the show, no fee for costume rental and the best teaching.

I am sure wherever you are there is an alternative school with a better ethos.

But I think you may be pushed to find a school studying jazz/modern that wouldn't do a routine like that to Chicago. I remember wearing suspenders and underwear in a production of Cabaret at 16 back in the 80s.

I think that is just the nature of modern dance. And 15/16 year olds would be deemed old enough and likely want to do those routines. I loved it and felt very sophisticated and not remotely groomed. I really don't think you can call this grooming even though it feels inappropriate (especially as the younger ones get to view it).

If I was you I would find a better school and maybe have your daughter study ballet, acro and contemporary rather than jazz/modern and that way she won't be learning moves or wearing costumes that offend you.

I doubt you will get anywhere reporting them to the exam boards because this is par for the course up and down the country as bad the school haven't broken any laws or done anything other schools aren't going.

Perhaps focus on your daughter. Get her to a better school and write a letter to the school explaining why you're pulling her out. Send a copy to the exam boards and at least it may be discussed. But you're looking to shut them down, it isn't going to happen.

My dd is 14 and have only thought one dance was innapropriate. It was the Can Can and was abit sexualised. That was a couple of years ago but nothing like that since.
If anything now, my dd thinks some of the costumes are abit young for her!
They do wear makeup for shows but not fake tan or anything.

The way dance schools get extra money can bw cheeky l feel. Wear fancy dress for Halloween or Easter and pay. Pay for the awards evenings but also bring food and drink, pay £10 a costume for hire even though they bring out the costumes year after year.

All in all she absolutely loves it

What exam board does the school use OP?

@grossedouteurgh if it was a ticketed performance, your local authority have probably licensed the show, via a BOPA or individual performance licences. Flag it with them if you have concerns, just search child entertainment and employment in whichever LA you're in and you should be able to find an email, contact number.

Yes. All dance schools near us like this. Dd has left now as said not fair the same children are chosen. Parents also not allowed to wait in the cafe in the building but outside in the rain.

Time to find another dance school. I’d be horrified as well. My kids do sport and this is good for team work and they all have fun. Perhaps change to sport but otherwise find another dance school.

I picked my kids dance school to avoid this sort of thing. Sadly many are like this.

You need to find somewhere else.

There's no obvious about it from reading your posts. Chicago is a popular musical, I personally don't think it's that big a deal at ages 15 -16 and don't know what it is that you'd be reporting.

OP I'd try to talk to your daughter's friends' parents, see if there's a couple who are also interested in changing school. So your dd doesn't lose the whole network by changing dance school.

And indeed, what's with the trolls? Ignore BettyShagter, she's off her rocker. Hope it all works out.

If you don’t like it , then don’t send your daughter there - but the fact is that the parents of the girls actually dancing this dance and wearing these outfits are clearly ok with it so you can’t really do anything about it and I don’t think you should either . You’re going to try and stop girls doing something they enjoy , which they have permission for , as well as probably affect the dance teachers career just because YOU don’t agree with it?!

Burlesque is actually about empowering women . It’s not the same as pole dancing or stripping ( though I would just like to say I have no issues with those either - although wouldn’t agree with a child doing it ) . Nothing is being removed . Dancing in heels is an art form , a skill , and fantastic for fitness . My stepdaughter does this with her dance class , she does other styles of dancing too but does this - and yes when I first saw I was like “ wow - wtf “ but then when I really watched and I saw the amazing skill of her dancing , the way she changed as a person in terms of her confidence , the way it helped with all issues she had had in her life with school, mental health etc and just made everything else in her life positive I realised that it’s that what should be focused on not the fact that every time a female shows a bit of skin it gets sexualised !

Dancing is an art form . They’re not getting these girls to strip off and have money slipped in their suspender belt ! Suspenders belts themselves were there to make women more comfortable and stop their stockings falling down but once again - sexualised ! 😡

Im sure people will disagree with me , and quite frankly I don’t really care , but in my personal opinion OP you need to open your mind a bit and step back too .. not your children , not your business . Calm down .

Also - they’re not going to let random men just buy tickets for the show 🙄

i would guess the only place you can escalate this to is the Dance School owners. They’re clearly not breaking any laws or it would have come to the attention of the police and authorities. And it’s doubtful the owners are going to change what they do, and it will only ostracise you and your daughter. Your options as far as I can see are to either complain then pull your daughter from the dance class, or allow her to continue as you say she loves it there.

They aren’t grooming them. It’s a show. Give over.

Totally agree with you.

But surely they don’t own a public road on the estate?
I can’t believe they would actually have staff manning cones. I’ve never heard anything like it.
What if someone warns to access the estate who works there? You could surely report this to the council. Or just drive through and say no. They’re not the police. Who would pay an extra £20 per lesson!

It's pervs when teenage girls and skimpy clothes are mentioned.

I don't feel like it's enough to pull my daughter out though

You've literally used the word 'grooming'.