I feel like my daughters dance school is inappropriate

[grossedouteurgh]

Got back this evening from my daughter's dance school performance at the local arts center and was horrified.

Prefacing this by saying I have had a few issues in the past with what I feel is money grabbing (introduced a charge of £20 recently to drop kids off in the car park. Their studio is on an industrial estate - why?!! This only serves to put safety at risks/makes money).

Also feel they have such a feeling of superiority and favouritism at the school which I don't think is healthy to foster in teens and pre teens.

Anyway, got home this evening from the Easter dance show and literally feel sick. I've seen more clothes on moulin rouge dancers and the way they had them gyrating over the stage is just gross. I filmed some of it because it genuinely felt like a strip club, and if that was my daughter I'd be horrified (she's still in a class below).

I obviously won't share but we're talking flash dance style, suspenders, gyrating... from 15/16/17 y olds.

It made me feel so awful.

I guess the parents in this situation are brainwashed by the school and it's a step to the next thing?

What can I do? I don't want to let this lie.

@saltinesandcoffeecups it was the splaying themselves over chairs this eve that made me think of flash dance... is there a more modern equivalent?

@saltinesandcoffeecups what an odd comment. Her head obviously went there so what's your problem?
Yes there will be more risqué things obviously but this was her example so get over it.

She does everything - ballet, jazz, modern, acrobatic. It's more the atmosphere and the cheapening of the girls than the genre that bothers me

I would take her out of the school OP. I had similar at my girl's dance school show. Fortunately, (or unfortunately as she was a good wee dancer in my view, she got bored of it all aged 11 ) she stopped going before the older classes but I know what you mean and none of the other parents seemed that fussed . It was weird. Sixteen year old girls doing sexy dancing isn't on really at all. There are loads of dance schools out there.

When my Dd was about 7 she did a dance in a dance show to 'back door Santa' (look it up, the lyrics are awful) the dance was fine but the words sooooo insppropriate. I had a thread on mn at the time. I spoke to the dance school owner and she saw no problem with it!
My elder DD is now at uni studying dance and wants to be a showgirl so I am sadly getting used to seeing her dance in not much more than a bikini. Her body, her choice at nearly 20 but I wouldn't have accepted it at 15.

But you said, and I quote, "I don't feel like it's enough to pull my daughter out though.."

Grown ASS adults?! That's such an Americanism. Try using proper descriptions. You can do it.

And anyway, some people like older films, much better than newer rubbish....and Flash Dance is a modern classic.

We all understood the reference, so I'm not sure why you needed to poke you nose in and comment on it?

Do you try to belittle people on every thread?

I don't know this world at all, I don't have daughters or boys who would've enjoyed dance.

What I can say is that If I didn't like the ethos of an activity my child was attending, I would remove my child from that environment without hesitation.

You thought they were inappropriately dressed and dancing and yet filmed it?
Weird

You aren't supposed to record in dance school shows for Safeguarding as it is!

Let alone because the girls are too "sexy"

Meaning - she will pull her daughter out, but she doesn’t feel that’s doing enough, she still wants to “report” it somehow to protect others.

@Sleepysendco Oh, I see. Thank you!

@grossedouteurgh. My mistake. Apologies.

@bananasstink Just read the lyrics to "Back Door Santa". Disgusting!

We just keep shrinking the "boundaries" and if we don't stop, there will be none left.

Work on taking your daughter out, but the rest of it sounds like a complete overreaction. I was working full time just after my 16th birthday, pretty sure I was old enough to not want to be doing any sort of dancing I wasn't comfortable with - and your example doesn't sound that bad. I've been around shows for many years, it doesn't sound out of the ordinary to me.

Tiny pops it was called🤮

When my Dd was about 7 she did a dance in a dance show to 'back door Santa' (look it up, the lyrics are awful)

Oh my fucking god. Those lyrics are unbelievable.

What do you mean?

Which bit isn't clear?

This is literally a storyline from the TV shoe Dance Moms. Every detail is the same -costumes, chairs, ages of the kids, pulling her daughter out but also debating whether it should also be reported.

Get her into Street and Contemporary, they tend to dance in trackies or combat trousers, definitely not sexual.

I kind of get you op.

I quite liked some my daughter's shows in that the athleticism, co ordination and Grace were a pleasure to behold.

However girls and costumes are a touchy subject.

A lot of the leotard and figure hugging clothes in my opinion do show girls in a way that can be viewed as too sexual. In also saw a lot of girls with 'imperfect' i.e. normal body shape be very self conscious and it showed on their faces.

I might be shot down as a pride but is possible to have great dancing costumes without right leotards that but the buttocks and breasts. Often with the end of year shows there are many men in the audience (brothers and fafhers) and I can feel some of them aren't entirely comfortable with the displays.

Do report then. Don't snipe by the sidelines.

Do the council know? I certainly wouldn’t be paying that.
I agree, some of the outfits, make up and styles of dance are not appropriate in some schools. But if you don’t get back up from other parents you’ll have to move her.

My parents were children (not teens yet) when Flash Dance was released. I'm in my late 20s with a baby of my own and I've watched Flash Dance. Seems like I'll be avoiding children's dance schools for my DD when she's older if most of them are like this.

Older parents do exist you know.

I’ve recently removed my daughter just before a show from a dance show. Whilst their outfits weren’t as sexualised the moves and make up were way beyond ok.
We went to a small Christmas show and my husband left as he felt so awkward seeing teens and preteens