To be concerned that my 10 year old is too childlike

[SamVussain]

DD is 10 this month.
She's always had a vivid imagination but just recently I've started to develop little concerns about how childlike she is in her imagination.
She plays with her huge collection of soft cuddly toys, and dolls that look like little girls, like 12 inch dolls.
Every cuddly toy has a name and every doll has a name which she puts great effortin to choosing.
They are all looked after by her every day - woken up in the morning, dolls hair brushed and styled, dressed up in dolls clothes, all placed in to positions in the lounge - she'll sit them all in a line and then teach them or read to them, or she positions them in her bedroom. She tells me all about what kind of a day they're having, about what they're going to be doing. Then she gets on with her own day and in the evening she puts them all very carefully to bed and then tells me all about their day.
She talks about all her dolls and all her cuddly soft toys as though they are real.
She's 10 later this month and her entire birthday present wish list is cuddly toys in various different characters.
She has a good amount of friends, is popular at school and I arrange lots of playdates for her friends to come to ours, and she gets lots of invites back.
Her main play when friends come over is imaginative role play, where they invent scripts and play make believe characters. DD loves to play like this.
She's a lovely girl, a lovely personality.
Gentle, imaginative, cheerful, characterful.
But I've noticed her peers are starting to get much more grown up, they have mobile phones and most definitely aren't playing with dolls and cuddly toys anymore!
Is my DD unusual to be so in to dolls and soft toys at 10, and to treat them and talk about them as though they are real, with real feelings?
I said something the other day about a soft toy looking dirty and needing a wash, and she said "Ssshhh! Mummy! Shush! He will hear you! Don't hurt his feelings!!!!"

All sounds like very age appropriate play at the moment OP.

I agree with other posters that some children are pulled out of this childhood phase much too early (largely through smart phones and/or tablets enabling easy access to social media and the Internet, or sometimes though difficulties at home )

Let her be. I was still playing with Barbies when I was nearly 12!!
It's better than being glued to a screen 24/7.
Just enjoy her child like innocence while you can.
It won't last and you will one day wonder where your lovely little girl went .

She’s a child. Once she starts senior school, she will change.😳

The girls I knew up until our second year in secondary school were behaving like this a bit! Admittedly it was when Cabbage Patch Dolls and Care Bears and plush Garfield’s were in, and Pierrot dolls but we certainly did this to a degree up until about 14 and then we suddenly stopped. Next thing we were into boys!

At 9, almost 10 she’s still young and there’s nothing wrong with her doing this at all, she likes it and enjoys doing it so leave her be.

I actually recall DM coming to see me and DB watching a childish but fun (and too young for us) tv programme for kids and saying it was too young when I was about 10 and DB about 8 but it was fun and silly and that’s why we liked it.

She sounds lovely and it doesn't sound like it's causing any problems with friendships. Is she Y5? That seems to be when girls split apart a bit (in my admittedly limited experience!) with some with smartphones and being more interested in "grown-up" things and some very much like your daughter (my DD is also 9 and is very like yours - although it's mostly Pokemon cuddly toys now, and I do get told off if I speak about them where they can hear or handle them incorrectly!

She sounds so sweet. Make the most of your lovely little girl. It sounds like she’s great socially so no issues there. She’ll grow up soon enough.

My dd is 11 and a pretty typical. Last time her friends came over for a sleepover they got all her playmobil out and played with it for ages. Let her be young for as long as possible!

So true!!

Great advice

This. Let her alone

She sounds delightful !!

My NDN’s 11/12 year old teenage boy is walked and collected by walking in his first year of secondary school, he’s NT not ND. I mean how bloody embarrassing is that?! Both his parents do this.

I remember my nan and mother shaming me for still liking cuddly toys at this age and I think it was cruel of them.

I think this sounds normal for year 5. My daughter’s friendship group contains children at this end of spectrum like my daughter and children who wear make up and talk about skin care and fashion. So far it doesn’t seem to cause any problems. My daughter’s imaginative play with friends is now moving into writing songs and stories together and pretending they are in a band.

Kids grow up way too fast these days. My DD is 10 and still plays with Barbies and Lego and role plays with her friends.. it’s all really normal. And an important part of childhood that many kids grow out of too soon, sadly. I was still playing with my dolls in year 7 and 8, though I didn’t let on to my friends at that point!

Make the most of it, it will change soon.
DD8 (almost 9) was telling me yesterday about a girl in her class who has a 5 step skincare rountine and regularly teases her for being ‘babyish’ as she doesn’t wear crop tops and makeup on non-uniform days. Personally I’m glad that DD doesn’t have access to social media and couldn’t give a stuff about skincare routine.

This was my youngest DD.
Enjoy it.
She is now 16, never been bullied. She now teaches dance and drama to little ones on a Saturday morning and volunteers at the local Rainbow pack.
She is a nuturing type and all her play as a child was an expression of this.

This thread has been reassuring. DS is younger (6 nearly 7) but seems so,far behind his peers. He still plays, especially imaginative games. I am totally on board with it, but sadly lots of his friends seem very grown up.

He is often sad they dont want to play his games and on playdates ask about tech all the time. I have been very anti screens, so DS not used to them. We have just allowed creator minecraft for an hour each weekend day but I dont love that I feel almost forced to do this. But he is starting to have less and less in common with his peers :(

Not sure how this has happened but DS is first born yet every single one of his friends bar one, has older siblings. I wonder if DS2 will end up more 'grown up' as a result..

Enjoy it because in a few short years the phones, social media and obsession with clothes will begin. Usually coinciding with puberty and transition to high school.

What her views and comments are in your home is fine. Only concern should be if outside the home it makes her vulnerable to teasing or something worse.

It's a shame we no longer have the middle school system.

It’s still a mix of 2 and 3 tier where I live and one observation I’ve heard from parents whose children went to middle school was that they felt it made them grow up even faster, because their 9 year olds were aping the 13 year olds they were at school with, rather than 11 being the oldest.

My 9 year old Grandson loves his cuddly toys and names them. He has to take one special one with him where ever he goes.. he's also into gaming and on his laptop a lot.. he's ASD.. but your daughter sounds delightful.
My daughter used to line her dolls up on the bed..she was given a pushchair ( for a real baby) and put all her 22 dolls in and would push it up and down the road .. at age 12.

I was like this when I was 10. I still have a lot of teddies (I no longer think they are alive, but they do have sentimental value and are great for when I’m nieces and nephews stay). Don’t rush her to grow up OP. The one thing I will say is maybe if she is still like this before she starts secondary school have a quiet word because other kids can be really really unkind about things like this and it’s better she knows what she’s in for imo. For now tho just enjoy it, she sounds very sweet and thoughtful.

Omg absolutely not. Let children be children, adulthood is LONG.