To be concerned that my 10 year old is too childlike

[SamVussain]

DD is 10 this month.
She's always had a vivid imagination but just recently I've started to develop little concerns about how childlike she is in her imagination.
She plays with her huge collection of soft cuddly toys, and dolls that look like little girls, like 12 inch dolls.
Every cuddly toy has a name and every doll has a name which she puts great effortin to choosing.
They are all looked after by her every day - woken up in the morning, dolls hair brushed and styled, dressed up in dolls clothes, all placed in to positions in the lounge - she'll sit them all in a line and then teach them or read to them, or she positions them in her bedroom. She tells me all about what kind of a day they're having, about what they're going to be doing. Then she gets on with her own day and in the evening she puts them all very carefully to bed and then tells me all about their day.
She talks about all her dolls and all her cuddly soft toys as though they are real.
She's 10 later this month and her entire birthday present wish list is cuddly toys in various different characters.
She has a good amount of friends, is popular at school and I arrange lots of playdates for her friends to come to ours, and she gets lots of invites back.
Her main play when friends come over is imaginative role play, where they invent scripts and play make believe characters. DD loves to play like this.
She's a lovely girl, a lovely personality.
Gentle, imaginative, cheerful, characterful.
But I've noticed her peers are starting to get much more grown up, they have mobile phones and most definitely aren't playing with dolls and cuddly toys anymore!
Is my DD unusual to be so in to dolls and soft toys at 10, and to treat them and talk about them as though they are real, with real feelings?
I said something the other day about a soft toy looking dirty and needing a wash, and she said "Ssshhh! Mummy! Shush! He will hear you! Don't hurt his feelings!!!!"

My 13 year old still has a bed full of cuddly toys and loves at least 1 cuddly toy as a gift at birthdays and Christmas. She doesn't line them up and play any more, but she still has a favourite she cuddles at night, is very precious with them, remembers where they all came from, who bought her them. We are planning a double ottoman bed for her room so she can keep them all but in a more grown up way, but she is unashamedly in love with them. I still have one from when I was little and we are both quite nostalgic.

I wouldn't worry. Some of us just love them.

She sounds amazing.

My sister was like this and I was gutted when she stopped playing it when she started secondary school and I was year 5. We are both in our 40’s and I’d say pretty standard women.

Absolutely normal. She sounds like she has a fantastic imagination and prefers to role play, hence using the toys when not with friends.
My child is 10 and although likes the iPad often FaceTimes her friend and they role play online. She is less mature than her older sister at the same age.

Sounds really normal and healthy to me. My daughter was a lot like this at that age. She is now 12. She is still quite innocent for her age but has ditched her dolls (still holds on to the squishmallows though) she is getting a lot more grown up and becoming more mature but I like that she has retained some of her innocence. Don’t wish the teenage years in… they are awful! It’s lovely for a child to have an active imagination and be creative and her own person.

Sounds perfectly normal to me. Enjoy it while it lasts.

My 8yo boy is the same. Scrupulously fair about rotating his (many!) teddies to the best spot in the bed, and making sure they can all "breathe". He told me the other day that it's "quite a responsibility" having to look after so many 🤣🤣

Don't worry about "growing up" OP. I know plenty of fully grown adults who treat their fluffy dogs like very expensive teddies, and who get very upset if you say anything less than complimentary within earshot (the dog's earshot, that is!)

Thanks everyone.
I feel reassured!😊

She's a child, it's ok for her to be childlike!

If it helps, my daughter was exactly like this and she's 16 now and happy, confident, creative and fiercely independent. Already happily chatting about all the places she's going to travel in her gap year, which uni she wants to go to, pondering working abroad and emigration one day. She still has one or two cuddly toys, who are of course all named, and it hasn't hindered her one bit. They grow up incredibly fast so cherish this lovely phase while you have it!

Let her enjoy every moment while it lasts. My daughter seemed out of sync with her peers, dressing in footy kits and tracksuits and shunning anything remotely feminine when she was 12 when all the other girls were being really girly and experimenting with make up and jewellery and dressing up. She just wanted to climb trees and play football. This changed literally overnight at 13 and and now goes to school every day with the shortest skirt imaginable and a full face of make up and her Christmas list was all about the jewellery and handbags! (She still loves her football though!)

She sounds lovely. I think playing at this age is still very normal and shouldn't be discouraged. I do see what you mean about this being a bit unusual though and a bit intense. Is she an only child? Does she have many other hobbies and interests? Has she many friends? Talking to mum about what her dolls are doing at 9 does make me think she could be a bit lonely. Playing with toys is still totally normal but this does sound like it could be a bit intense.

I suspect the fact that this is worrying you is you worrying about something slightly more than just the toys.

Is she an only child ?

Don't rush her into growing up, it will happen.

If she is 10 next birthday then if in England I guess she is in year 5 ?

My dd happily played with dolls into Secondary school - both baby dolls and the Barbie / Bratz dolls and gradually it stopped.

Tho mid 20's now and has a bed full of soft toys on it !

Your daughter sounds truly delightful. Please don't wish her childhood away.

Oh my gosh, she sounds adorable. I loved reading your description of her. I can imagine my DD (3) being like this at 10 but who knows how she will turn out.

Awww she sounds lovely. Enjoy it. My older dd was a lot like that and played imaginary games til at least 11. She was then a teenage mum so grew up way too fast! So be careful what you wish for…

She sounds amazing. I wish my 10 year old wanted dolls instead of WhatsApp. Make up and skincare.

She sounds wonderful and plays just as a 9 year old should. Do not wish her childhood away she will soon only be interested in make up and tik tok and you will look back at this stage and wonder where it went!

She sounds adorable. Enjoy it while it lasts. The teenage years are loooooong.

Exactly as my DD was at that age. She will grow up soon enough, let her enjoy her toys.

I did find in Y6 there was a wide age of maturity. Some like my DD still immersed in playing with toys and some into makeup and music etc.

My 12 year old still occasionally plays with her dolls in secret with friends. Not unusual at all.

My dd is nearly 13 and in year 8. She has loads of teddies, a doll and 100's of schleich horses. She loves to play with her toys still although does like to play on her xbox too. She's got a small interest in make up but not boys! Yet!

Aww that’s lovely! My 9yo loves his cuddly toys and can barely fit in his bed as they all have to be in there too. He doesn’t play with toys much anymore and it makes me a bit sad. FWIW I vividly remember playing with my Barbies when I was in Yr6 and getting upset that I couldn’t play with them when I moved up to high school 😢 (I still did occasionally - when no one was looking!) x

My daughter is 12 a confident typical 12 year old, into make up clothes great social life. Yet when she is at home she takes great pleasure in me pretending that I am the dogs voice and talking back at it and playing out various scenarios. Tbf we have had a great many laughs doing this . Let them play.

I teach y5 and the girls vary from ones described here ... still childlike... unicorns, imaginative play right through to the "cool ones" who hand around like teenagers ! I much prefer the child like ones but as the year has progressed there's definitely less playing!

My 9 yo is very similar. Dolls and teddies. Set up every night who is sleeping where. Constant imaginative play. I have actually been thinking she's too babyish too though so am reassured by the comments here. I do think though that my 9yo and her peer group are all more immature than my other daughter and her peers at that age. I wonder if covid/lockdowns have anything to do with it...