To be concerned that my 10 year old is too childlike

[SamVussain]

DD is 10 this month.
She's always had a vivid imagination but just recently I've started to develop little concerns about how childlike she is in her imagination.
She plays with her huge collection of soft cuddly toys, and dolls that look like little girls, like 12 inch dolls.
Every cuddly toy has a name and every doll has a name which she puts great effortin to choosing.
They are all looked after by her every day - woken up in the morning, dolls hair brushed and styled, dressed up in dolls clothes, all placed in to positions in the lounge - she'll sit them all in a line and then teach them or read to them, or she positions them in her bedroom. She tells me all about what kind of a day they're having, about what they're going to be doing. Then she gets on with her own day and in the evening she puts them all very carefully to bed and then tells me all about their day.
She talks about all her dolls and all her cuddly soft toys as though they are real.
She's 10 later this month and her entire birthday present wish list is cuddly toys in various different characters.
She has a good amount of friends, is popular at school and I arrange lots of playdates for her friends to come to ours, and she gets lots of invites back.
Her main play when friends come over is imaginative role play, where they invent scripts and play make believe characters. DD loves to play like this.
She's a lovely girl, a lovely personality.
Gentle, imaginative, cheerful, characterful.
But I've noticed her peers are starting to get much more grown up, they have mobile phones and most definitely aren't playing with dolls and cuddly toys anymore!
Is my DD unusual to be so in to dolls and soft toys at 10, and to treat them and talk about them as though they are real, with real feelings?
I said something the other day about a soft toy looking dirty and needing a wash, and she said "Ssshhh! Mummy! Shush! He will hear you! Don't hurt his feelings!!!!"

Yip. My youngest child is like this too. Lots of her friends act much older. But even though her play seems "young" and she enjoys childish things - she is actually incredibly emotionally intelligent. It sounds like you have a loving, empathetic little girl who knows herself...long may it continue.

I'm still childlike! I'm 47!

I'm 47 too and I still say goodnight to Norman the cuddly monkey every night.

Imaginative play is way better than addicting to phones!

Good for her brain and personality.

A it's perfectly normal

B if we told you yes she was childlike what would you actually do anyway. Burn her toys in a bin fire 🔥?!?

I was actually thinking that about my eldest tonight- he is turning 10 and I wonder if he is still a bit young compared to some of his peers. I don’t want him to change though- I want him to be like that as long as he is happy to be.

Can only echo what others have said, but if she was a little more childlike than her peers, so what? Children develop at different rates...Those with neurodiversity might hold onto childhood interests for longer (even for life), there's nothing wrong with it, it's just who they are and what they enjoy .

Your wee one sounds lovely. Don't rush her to grow up. She sounds just about right for her age . I work with wee ones her age who have sadly, (for reasons that are too upsetting to go into here, ) the world on their shoulders and have never been given the chance to be children and to play and to enjoy toys. It is heartbreaking to see.

Let her play with her dolls. She will grow up in time enough. Sooner than you think. She is doing just fine.

I think as long as you are not one of those parents encouraging their child to be childlike as long as possible, then it is fine.

@CuriositysCat my daughter was obsessed with Slyvannian Families when she was wee and I was sad when she put them away when she went to High School .( Inevitable!) She's coming up for 18 soon and has recently been up in the loft and guess what? She brought the box down and she has them back on her shelves pride of place! "Oh mum! They are so cute ! Look at the wee hedgehogs!" Be warned ! We have the Big houses and camper vans - cost us a second mortgage! She was lucky she had generous relatives!

This is like asking if a woman is being womanly. She is a child. So anything she does with her imagination is going to be child like.

I'm sure she'll have developed into using her imagination in a slightly different way by 18 when she's no longer a child.

My 23 year old still has lots of cuddly toys with names and they sleep on her bed.

She went through the normal teenage stage just loves cuddly toys.

Now expensive collectible ones.

I'm a grown woman with two cuddly toys in my bed right now 😀

I think it’s fantastic she’s still using her imagination instead of beig glued to a phone. It’s her peers i’d be more concerned about, not her.

I still remember occasionally playing with dolls age 12.
imagination like that is amazing and you never get it back.

she sounds wonderful.

I'm going against everyone here and saying that it does sound (a little) strange, especially if you're feeling something but could be nothing to worry about.

Is she developing normally in other aspects?

I'd enjoy it and embrace it.

In a couple of years, she'll be at secondary school, and will be too tired and have too much homework to faff with her dolls too much.

She'll probably keep them in the cupboard for old times sake, and new interests will form. .....but for now, just treasure these moments of her playing, because they will soon be gone and won't be coming back.

This sounds just like DS at this age! Interestingly, his teachers all described him as ‘mature’ so he was a bit of a chameleon and able to put his babyish side aside at school. I suppose it’s only an issue if it’s causing friendship difficulties.
(DS is at secondary now and is starting to get more grown up, finally!)

I overheard my mother having the same conversation when I was late primary / early secondary. I hated the fact she compared me to the girl next door, even more that she didn’t seem to love me for me. It’s stuck with me for years. I was quite immature but the youngest in the year group. I remember clinging onto my teddies as I was scared to get older / I had younger siblings that people gave more attention too as they were cute and younger (or so it seemed in my head).

OP your daughter sounds fine, maybe you could encourage additional things for her birthday to help transition her if you are concerned.

Bless her. She sounds adorable. I am a mum to a mid teen taking GCSEs in a couple of months. The best advice I can give is to cherish these years.

Every time I go into the loft, I check that my teddies are comfortable. I'm 40.

I agree with this. There are a lot of comments saying it's adorable. But it's not about being an adorable little girl, it's about whether a nine year old is developing as she should.

Now, I'm not saying nine year olds shouldn't play - I think they should, they're still kids. My girls still played at that age, but nowhere near as intensely or repetitively. They were also starting to get more into things like art and drawing and board games as opposed to dolls. I don't think they thought their toys were 'real' in the same way, even though they still played with sylvanians etc. It seems a bit unusual to me.

Both of them still have loads of cuddly toys btw. But there's a difference between having the toys and playing, and being totally immersed in the way your daughter is. You're worried about it. Are there other things about her development that worry you?

Definitely not an issue. You will find things will shift certainly year 6 onwards. I wouldn't rush it, so many kids are pushed to grow up to fast these days.

Enjoy it whilst it lasts - 18 months time and it’ll all change when she goes to secondary school.

Completely normal. I have a nearly 10yr old who is very similar and I teach this age group. Half of the girls are suddenly into makeup and phones, while the other half still play imaginary games like your DD.
Enjoy it while it lasts!