Husband embarrassed when I felt unwell

[OneBrightCrow]

My husband and I were at the wedding of one of his uni friends on Wednesday. It was a great day however I came over unwell during the speeches, probably due to not having enough to eat before a couple of Proseccos. I was not drunk at all, but came over pale, felt clammy and like I was going to collapse. I didn’t want to cause a fuss by getting up and leaving, but felt so awful that I put my head down on the table. I understand that this could have looked rude but I’m pretty sure the other tables did not notice, and everyone on our table could see that something wasn’t right.

Despite asking my husband to just leave me be for a few minutes, he persisted in trying to get me to leave the room, but his persistence was really not helping, and I tried explaining that if I stood up I was afraid I would collapse or be sick, and I absolutely did not want that to happen.

He wouldn’t let it go so eventually I managed to stand up and sat outside for a bit until I felt better; but I wasn’t quite right for the rest of the day. I chose not to drink any more, but even after multiple glasses of water I was struggling with the noisy room and drunk people getting a bit close for comfort. We found a quiet room with a sofa where I sat for a while, and he asked if I wanted to leave. I said no but we argued when I tried encouraging him to rejoin the party so that he could see his uni friends that he rarely gets to see, including his best friend who had come just for the evening reception; but he kept saying we should be there as a couple.

He got a bit arsey, questioning how I was feeling and saying that he has never known me to “do this” as though I was choosing to behave this way. I said I felt very pressured by him, and was hurt that he had been more concerned about how I was appearing to other people than whether I was OK!

He eventually stormed off and returned about half an hour where we argued again, so I just grit my teeth and rejoined the party even though I still felt unwell.

It’s left me feeling quite hurt about it, and even when I tried talking to him about it (thinking that now he’s sober he would be a bit apologetic) he maintains that putting my head on the table was rude and we would have to agree to disagree.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling hurt??

@MyFirstLittlePony

also.. is OP any less worthy of her partners support and care if she’s feeling ill off a couple of glasses of Prosecco versus if she’s feeling ill from a couple of dodgy prawns? If so, why?

FFS @K0OLA1D why are you so angry at posters.

@Februaryfeels

maybe she is sick of the bizarre puritanical mumsnet attitude towards alcohol (especially women drinking alcohol)

I bet your husband is pissed off because you kept telling him to go and have fun with his friends, but his friends kept asking him if his wife was ok/shouldn't he be with you/take you home etc. By insisting you both stay whilst ill, you were making him look like a selfish arsehole.

Op. You and me need a large night out. You are legless after a thimble of Prosecco. My sort of friend 🥰

I don't need to retrain in the slightest. Plus I'm disabled. Y'know. Living the experience.

I bet you're one of those people who would walk past an unconscious diabetic in a hypo because you'd assume they were drunk, aren't you?

(I don’t think for a minute you were drunk but let’s experiment!!)

I am wondering if you’re suffering from some sort of inner ear balance thing :/ vertigo. It can come on like that. I think just a couple glasses on a empty stomach wouldn’t have you feeling so bad

I feel for you OP I get low blood sugar sometimes and feel like this. I don’t drink but if I went a long time without food would feel like you did.

And I’m sure no one else even noticed and if they did they probably didn’t think badly of you just oh dear she can’t be feeling well.

your husband sounds like he was out of order to me. If I was another guest I would not have thought anything bad about what you did. People get sick, women could be pregnant and feel faint there are so many reasons so why would anyone judge you.

Even if someone was face down drunk snoring my friends and family would just smile and be ‘oh dear someone should take more water with it’. God it’s a wedding people get drunk. OP wasn’t obviously but even if she was so what.

he needs to get over himself. Just ignore him if he does it again.

You were pissed and probably attention seeking. Are you jealous of his uni friends?

@Kittycat333

why do you think she was pissed?

also you say it like being pissed is a bad thing! It’s a wedding hun, it’s party time! 🥂🥳

And you are reading a different thread to everybody else

My issue is you are expecting a full apology from him when tbh neither of you deserves the full apology.

You say you were genuinely ill but you also drank on an empty stomach so….

• if it was the other way round can you honestly say you wouldn’t be annoyed at him?

He should have listened to you and just left you to it.

well your behaviour was a bit embarrassing, putting your head on the table ??

I think YABVU and I would have totally cringed if my DH has done this. Head on the table during speeches is horrendous.
If you felt you couldn't walk unaided you should have asked your DH to discreetly escort you out of the room, sit you someone cooler and quiet with a glass of water and then he could have returned to finish listening to the speeches.

@Magicmonday24

You say you were genuinely ill but you also drank on an empty stomach so….

She didn't

OP: To be fair I didn’t feel ill on an empty stomach. We’d eaten starter, main and wedding cake by that point.

I didn’t say I (or anyone else) was never affected by what people think of me (or them).
I just really don’t see why it was so dreadful for the OP to rest her forehead on her arm. Or why that should be so excruciatingly embarrassing for her DH because his friends were there.
Aren’t friends the people who are meant to hold your hair back when you puke/defend you if people criticise you/generally have your back?
I genuinely can’t imagine, if a friend’s partner was feeling sick and faint, doing anything other than offering practical support like water/a seat/my arm, or feeling anything other than concern.

Have you read the thread?

You people are nuts. No one in my personal life cares this much about weddings, I never even knew it was a thing until MN. What happens with the rest of life if your wedding is such high stakes? Do you have nothing else going on? I thought it was meant to be a celebration, not some sort of endurance test.

I know right. Awful behaviour. Like literally cannot think of anything worse when someone puts their head on a table when they feel faint. Dragged up, obviously

Totes cringe.

I’m partial to a bottomless brunch - alcohol tolerance isn’t usually a concern 🤣

that said it was still only 2 Proseccos - not the 2 magnums that some people think it must have been.

Yes! MN has gone bonkers.
It used to be it would blindly take the woman's side. Now it insist that every women is perfect and persucutes any flawed woman as not being a realy woman and being a disgrace.

I voted YANBU as he should have rejoined the party and he wasn’t nice to you. But putting your head on the table was a bit… odd. Even with all your updates, still a bit odd, you should have left the room.

So I think you behaved a little strangely and he was embarrassed and then behaved badly.

He was a dick though, yes, and I’d be looking for a pattern in his behaviour and wondering.

He didn't sound v nice
However, I'd be annoyed if my DH put his head on the table at a wedding. It's not good etiquette and, if I saw it, I would assume the person was drunk. Far better to leave the room.