Husband embarrassed when I felt unwell

[OneBrightCrow]

My husband and I were at the wedding of one of his uni friends on Wednesday. It was a great day however I came over unwell during the speeches, probably due to not having enough to eat before a couple of Proseccos. I was not drunk at all, but came over pale, felt clammy and like I was going to collapse. I didn’t want to cause a fuss by getting up and leaving, but felt so awful that I put my head down on the table. I understand that this could have looked rude but I’m pretty sure the other tables did not notice, and everyone on our table could see that something wasn’t right.

Despite asking my husband to just leave me be for a few minutes, he persisted in trying to get me to leave the room, but his persistence was really not helping, and I tried explaining that if I stood up I was afraid I would collapse or be sick, and I absolutely did not want that to happen.

He wouldn’t let it go so eventually I managed to stand up and sat outside for a bit until I felt better; but I wasn’t quite right for the rest of the day. I chose not to drink any more, but even after multiple glasses of water I was struggling with the noisy room and drunk people getting a bit close for comfort. We found a quiet room with a sofa where I sat for a while, and he asked if I wanted to leave. I said no but we argued when I tried encouraging him to rejoin the party so that he could see his uni friends that he rarely gets to see, including his best friend who had come just for the evening reception; but he kept saying we should be there as a couple.

He got a bit arsey, questioning how I was feeling and saying that he has never known me to “do this” as though I was choosing to behave this way. I said I felt very pressured by him, and was hurt that he had been more concerned about how I was appearing to other people than whether I was OK!

He eventually stormed off and returned about half an hour where we argued again, so I just grit my teeth and rejoined the party even though I still felt unwell.

It’s left me feeling quite hurt about it, and even when I tried talking to him about it (thinking that now he’s sober he would be a bit apologetic) he maintains that putting my head on the table was rude and we would have to agree to disagree.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling hurt??

He’s not usually uncaring, but doesn’t go out of his way 🤷🏻‍♀️ but I wouldn’t say we’ve ever been in a situation around other people like that, but I still felt a bit shocked.

i can understand the embarrassment thing, but it was the ongoing issue where he seemed to think there was more to it, saying “this has never happened before” (as though there was something about the event that I was trying to avoid?) to which I replied “ I’m glad this isn’t something that’s happened before!” (He wasn’t present when it happened with work colleagues)

I felt that by sitting quietly away from anyone else (as opposed to staying sat at a table in the function room) would enable him to continue socialising without it being obvious to people that I wasn’t up dancing etc.

I would’ve felt awful to have left early and was the one saying to him “no, we should stay, I don’t want to cut it short, we’ve come all this way, you don’t see them very often etc”

I was doing everything I could to avoid spoiling it, despite not feeling good.

The pettiness and small-minded focus on etiquette on this thread, as opposed to someone's health has reminded me how much I dislike (most) weddings

The issue isn't wedding's. It's the people on this thread.

Because they're both boring and socially awkward 😁

Yes it is. I'm disabled, and I work with disability rights. I train people in Equality and Diversity. It's ableist.

I had someone on my table at a wedding who suddenly put their head down on the table. Everyone was sympathetic and helpful and no-one appeared to be embarrassed. Turns out she had suddenly had an excrutiating headache. She didn't normally have migraines, but that was obviously what she was suffering from. Someone found a pair of sunglasses for her and she stayed for the meal and speeches (probably gritting her teeth) and then left.

If OH treated me as unsympatherically as OP's I would be mightily p**ed off and would have had a few choice words for him. If he felt this unwell I would be looking after him. Unless someone has form for this kind of behaviour OP's DH was unreasonable.

OP I used to feel like this when I was having panic attacks, I didn't realise what they were at the time but trying to eat seemed to set them off and also social situations. I have fainted a few times due to this. Could it have been something similar?

Someone feeling ill through drinking on an empty stomach has no relationship to anything concerning "disability rights". Shame on you if you really peddle this crap to people who are presumably paying for this training?

sounds like a twat to me-whats his problem with going bak in by himself-sounds very image cocnsious

I’ve had panic attacks before…but highly suspect this was more blood sugar related along with the copious amount of Prosecco I consumed via two thimbles 🤣

Can you not read? OP felt ill AFTER she had eaten. She has had a spell like this before when she hadn't drunk any alcohol. She had two glasses of prosecco.

I've also said that it isn't just about the OP, who probably isn't disabled, but about the judgement and the language used towards someone who was ill.

I'm sorry that you can't grasp the very simple concept that being disgusted and embarrassed by someone having a funny turn in public is horrible behaviour.

Shame on you for defending it. And no, people don't pay for training 👍

The whole episode upset him so much, he had to drink enough to make himself sick on the way home,😂 and all because of the sheer embarrassment.

The OP has come back multiple times. By the time she felt ill she'd eaten. Ffs give it a rest with the couple of glasses of prosecco

The gaslighting on this thread is pretty unpleasant. OP said she wasn't drunk, had two Proseccos and water with a meal and cake.

Two thimble fulls. She's Thumbelina then 😂😂

Coincidentally I was at an event recently where a medical person was discussing what happens when you eat. Apparently the blood reduces in your extremities heads to your digestive system to work on that.

He can be quite insecure sometimes so I guess this embarrassment brought that out…

🤣

Makes sense why my legs felt like lead!

Oh come on! Do you honestly think a man who face-planted the table during the speeches at his wife's friend's wedding after drinking (even a small amount) would get an easy ride on here? MN would probably have declared him an alcoholic by now. I doubt anyone would be worrying about his potential disabilities.

I completely agree that this has been blown out of all proportion, and that what happened really wasn't a big deal at all, but it's daft to pretend MN is giving the OP a hard time because she's female!

some people are so weird on here about alcohol

like a couple of glasses of Prosecco makes OP some massive piss head with an alcohol problem

a couple of glasses of Prosecco is NOTHING

Op if anything just needs some nights out on the town with her pals to build up her tolerance and she’ll be fine

well thats his problem

Yes it is. I'm disabled, and I work with disability rights. I train people in Equality and Diversity. It's ableist.

Maybe you need to retrain. You are accusing people of using ableist language against someone who suffered an acute bout of illness. You are stretching the definition to breaking point. I agree that some posters' attitudes here are horrible and some of the language is unnecessarily cruel and extreme, but it still isn't ableism.

Faceplanted? Wtf are you reading?!

This whole “unwell” thing really was self inflicted by alcohol

i get why it happens, I sometimes don’t process alcohol well, but ultimately you behaved a bit oddly imo and it was due to alcohol so I can see why that irritated him

@MyFirstLittlePony

lighten up!

it was a couple of glasses of Prosecco! Not a bottle of vodka and 5 jaeger bombs