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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hate the new woman at work

127 replies

Elbai · 02/04/2024 19:02

I work a pretty small company, office of 35, my role is in sales. I like my job, could make more elsewhere but enjoy the work life balance and mostly the team.

My particular desk area is made up of 6 people, 4 in sales and 2 marketing. Marketing is just the head of marketing and a degree apprentice. The head of marketing recently left and was replaced and I cannot stand the replacement.
Our previous head of marketing had 12 years experience, 5 years as head of marketing, 2 before that with us and 5 before elsewhere. He was great. Our replacement is a 25 year old, 3 years experience, and conveniently related to the chairman! The poor degree apprentice must be desperate to leave ... how can you learn from someone with as much as experience as you!
To top it off, it's come out she's is making more than the previous head of marketing by 5k, surely she should be starting on less due to her lack of experience!!
She's okay enough at the job but personality wise she's a flirt and rather annoying.
It's also no secret that 3 weeks in she's already slept with on of the guys in research!
This is our second nepo hire in 8 months (owners daughter too).

AIBU to be so pissed off with this hire to the point I want to leave a company I've been at for 9 years? This is ridiculous right?

OP posts:

toomuchfaff · 02/04/2024 19:07

YANBU
Only choice is to leave though... nepotism at it's finest, the place will go downhill fast, get out quick. It'll get worse.

Tatas · 02/04/2024 19:10

So she's okay at the job? You just don't like her personality + relationship with other employees? Tbh just suck it up and do your job, if you dislike it that much then look elsewhere for a job?

You don't get to pick who you work with (believe me I wish I did!) and there's no point letting that sort of thing take up any of your brain space.

Gabby82 · 02/04/2024 19:11

Other than being annoying does it really impact you? Doesn't seem worth quitting over? Personally I'd be loving the entertainment value!

PerfectTravelTote · 02/04/2024 19:13

Hate is a very strong word and totally out of proportion when she's ok at the job.

Scarletttulips · 02/04/2024 19:15

Go and make more money - makes hime more bearable.

CyanBird · 02/04/2024 19:18

She's okay enough at the job

This should be all that matters to you.

it’s none of your business who she shags or how much she gets paid.

MiddleParking · 02/04/2024 19:18

It sounds like you’re engaging in some very professionally inappropriate conversations OP. Tread carefully.

TeaKitten · 02/04/2024 19:20

So she’s a bit annoying… but ok at her job, is young and has a sex life. And you hate her for this… screams of plain old jealousy. She’s doing well career wise and financially for her age while you choose to sit in the middle, if you don’t like it you can make changes to your own life, but you shouldn’t be hating another woman for doing well.

dimllaishebiaith · 02/04/2024 19:20

I notice the young woman is labelled the flirt and judged for sleeping with someone at work

But the man she slept with is not judged at all...

Original poster

Elbai · 02/04/2024 19:21

MiddleParking · 02/04/2024 19:18

It sounds like you’re engaging in some very professionally inappropriate conversations OP. Tread carefully.

I've been told everything I know rather than asked!!

I only know her pay as she went for work drinks and it came up then (everyone at our office knows what most people makes).

The sleeping with someone convo came up as I'm friends with someone she decided to tell!

OP posts:

Evaka · 02/04/2024 19:22

It's very annoying that she's a nepo hire but your reaction is intense, particularly regrading her sex life. Also, digital marketing is handled by some of our youngest team members as they understand the darks arts of the Internet in a way I never will. Maybe she's the right person to lead a new era of marketing?

HoneyButterPopcorn · 02/04/2024 19:22

Just ignore and get on with your job. I remember being at a leaving do where the CEO gave a speech about how he knew the dad of woman who was leaving. He then said how his friend had asked him if he had any jobs going, so he decided to throw her into the marketing department (no qualifications or experience).

At least she knew she wasn’t all that good at the job, and that dad had got her foot on the door.

If makes you feel any better I once started a new job to find that my inherited assistant was earning more than me, had no experience or training, and was bonking the boss (so noone could say anything). Yeah that was fun…

mynameiscalypso · 02/04/2024 19:23

PerfectTravelTote · 02/04/2024 19:13

Hate is a very strong word and totally out of proportion when she's ok at the job.

This. I don't think I've ever hated anyone and certainly not someone mildly irritating at work.

stayathomer · 02/04/2024 19:24

In one of my old old jobs two of my workmates were granddaughters of the owner and they were amazing at their job, partly because they’d talk with him about strategy and stuff. When they left I was shocked, I would have seen one of them running the place but they said they couldn’t get away from being his granddaughter and had the experience to go on and make their own mark so I’m never a fan of the word nepotism.

Op You said she’s fine at her job, surely that’s all you really need? And so what if she slept with someone? I started on my old job on more than most people I worked with because they asked what I was thinking of and I thought eff it and chanced my arm. And got it (and didn’t know what others were on and had been coming up to what I wanted anyhoo!) Maybe you should think about making a move either in the company or out, it’s not fair on yourself or her facing her every day when you have all these niggles

MaybeImbad · 02/04/2024 19:25

She’s okay at her job, so what’s your problem?

You hate her? Seriously? I’m guessing you’re the apprentice/more junior? It sounds as if the office is the focus of your gossip/social life.

Didimum · 02/04/2024 19:28

Her sex life and salary are nothing to do with you. All you need to care about it whether she adequately performs her job.

Pollyannamex · 02/04/2024 19:29

You are coming across jealous and bitter tbh. Maybe it’s best you do leave and let her get on with it?

Deebee90 · 02/04/2024 19:32

Aww sounds like you are jealous. She’s younger and probably prettier than you and you don’t like it. How about work on your own self esteem and confidence before you try and bring people down. She’s good at her job and has every right to be there.

Meadowfinch · 02/04/2024 19:35

So she can do her job.

Your resentment of her is based on her being related to the chairman. Having less experience than her predecessor. Her salary. And her personal relationship. None of which are anything to do with you at all.

Perhaps she was chosen because her skills are more digital, more up to date in a fast changing industry.

And as for 'hating her'. You've known her a couple of weeks. You can't possibly make a reasoned judgement yet. You sound small minded, bigoted and spiteful.

Either way, you really don't have any reason to dislike her unless she fails to provide you with the target quota of leads.

Brefugee · 02/04/2024 19:36

Sorry, OP, this happens. It's a no-brainer though. Keep your powder dry and look for something else.

Nomorenomores · 02/04/2024 19:38

CyanBird · 02/04/2024 19:18

She's okay enough at the job

This should be all that matters to you.

it’s none of your business who she shags or how much she gets paid.

Edited

I dunno. Starting a new job in a senior position and immediately starting off shagging staff is never a good move. It’s deeply unprofessional.

I can see why OP is pissed. This person did not get the job on her career credentials.

dimllaishebiaith · 02/04/2024 19:42

Nomorenomores · 02/04/2024 19:38

I dunno. Starting a new job in a senior position and immediately starting off shagging staff is never a good move. It’s deeply unprofessional.

I can see why OP is pissed. This person did not get the job on her career credentials.

Show quote history

I mean she probably got the job because she is related yes

But at the same time a "Head of Marketing" role where you only manage 1 person, who is an apprentice, in a company of 35 people, where the pay is, as the OP has said, lower than elsewhere is not normally going to attract lots of candidates with more than 3 or so years of experience.

It sounds like they were underpaying the last person, who eventually got fed up and left for a better job, and now they are where they are.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 02/04/2024 19:47

YABU.

She hasn't been unpleasant to you. There's no need to hate her. Also if she's what you call a "nepo hire", then maybe you need to get on board with this and be nicer to her and about her.

KrisAkabusi · 02/04/2024 19:52

Wind your judgy neck in. She's done nothing wrong.

lap90 · 02/04/2024 19:55

You don't come across particularly great yourself tbh.

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