To not want to pay for my bridesmaid dress?

[MrsB777]

I've been asked to be a bridesmaid for two weddings this year, both of which I need to purchase my own dress for. The dresses that have been chosen range from £100-130.

AIBU to think that if someone asks me to be in their wedding, then they should pay for the dress? I've been a bridesmaid previously and the bride bought my dress.

Tradition is that bridesmaids pay for their own dress.

This only is a tradition in America
Uk tradition is bride pays for all expenses incurred with being a bridesmaid

I had quite a 'budget' wedding but I bought all of my bridesmaids dresses. I asked them to wear their own shoes but they were wearing black so they all had some anyway if they didn't want to buy. Paid for them to have hair and make up done too.

I've never bought my bridesmaids dress either.

Sorry! I didn't mean strange weird, I meant more unusual or non-traditional. No offence meant!

My bridesmaids and I split it. I got that they wouldn’t have chosen the dress I did necessarily, but all three said they’d buy a new dress for the wedding if it wasn’t for being a bridesmaid so were happy to contribute something.

No it’s not??

Tell her you've tons of jewellery and don't need anymore but can't afford the dress ;-)

I didn’t have bridesmaids because I couldn’t afford dresses - there’s nothing wrong with a small wedding, no way would I have asked anyone to buy their own, cheekyfuckery of the highest order 🤷‍♀️

Not in the UK. Bride or whoever pays for dresses.

My bridesmaid's dresses were made for them and we paid for them. It wouldn't have occurred to us to say 'Would you be the bridesmaids and by the way, you can pay for your own frocks'!

Are you in England? Sorry but this is horribly rude of you. You should have covered the full cost. Yes they’d have bought a new outfit, but one completely if their own choosing that they’d likely wear again! They’ll never wear a bridesmaid dress again fgs.

No I paid for my bridesmaids dresses. Personally I think it's a cheek to ask them to pay for something you want!

I've been a bridesmaid at my brother's wedding and had two bridesmaids at my own wedding..

My dress and shoes were bought for me, along with earrings as my bridesmaids gift, all paid for by SIL's parents.

When I got married I used a contribution from my dad to pay for my dress, veil and shoes and also the bridesmaids outfits including shoes and hair accessories. I told them that they could keep their outfits to do whatever they liked with them. I would never have expected them to but their own dresses although they did both volunteer to.

Nah, never come across that. Bridesmaid 3 times and never been expected or asked to pay.

UK. I paid for my bridesmaids and flower girls dresses and shoes (my best friends and their daughters and my niece). They chose the dresses and shoes too as I wanted them to be comfortable on the day. They have all used all their items since and had great wear out of them, of which I am truly glad. I would never have dreamt of asking them to pay!!!!

Luckily my mum is a hairdresser so she was hard at work the wedding morning and I paid for all of their make up to be done too.

Meh, I don’t feel it’s rude. I was happy to buy my own dress when I was a bridesmaid so I thought this was reasonable. I even think of of the bridesmaids suggested it but I can’t remember??? And yes in England. They didn’t really have much else in terms of expense! It wasn’t an extravagant wedding or hen.

Tradition in which country? According to Google, in the Uk it’s the bride who pays. I have been a bridesmaid 3 times and never paid for a dress.
I would decline on financial grounds op.

UK here 👋🏼 I’m getting married and will be buying the bridesmaid dresses…don’t think I’ve ever heard of having to buy your own?

As a guest they’d have to buy an outfit, but that would be a lot cheaper than a bridesmaid dress so no i wouldn’t expect them to pay. Weddings already cost enough for guests with hotel/gift/drinks/time off work etc!

Drop out. Honestly pointless

I have been a bridesmaid several times

never paid for a dress but it’s still a massive pain in the ass. Im glad im too old for that now

I hired mine and all I stipulated was the colour they could choose whatever style they liked it meant everyone was comfortable in something that flattered their shape win all round

In the U.K. tradition is the Brides family pay for the bridesmaid dresses.

I paid for all my bridesmaids dresses and accessories.

My chief bridesmaid provided her own shoes as she had a gorgeous pair anyway.

I think it’s rude to ask someone to be bridesmaid and not pay for it all.

That's crazy. Tell them if the can't afford dresses, hair & make up, they can't afford 10 bridesmaids

I've never paid for any of those things when I was a bridesmaid (twice) or let my bridesmaids pay for them.

I paid for my own shoes once as bridezilla bought us all stilettos that I couldn't walk in

I think there are so many different expectations from brides for weddings. And I think it all depends on budgets.
If I was asked to be a bridesmaid, I would definitely ask up front what it entails and what is it going to cost?
Because there might be a hen party. There's probably hotel accommodation and travel to pay for. Bride and Groom might also expect a gift or contribution to their honeymoon. And that old bridesmaid dress dilemma- who's paying?
You could talk to the other bridesmaids and maybe there are even bridemaid's dresses to rent - like the new trend in rent an evening gown?
You really need the how much is it going to cost chat with the bride?
And you should never agree to be a bridesmaid, unless you know what it is going to cost you - time and money.

No traditionally bride and groom pay for any outfits if they have asked the person to be part of their wedding.

Never heard that 'tradition' before. I paid for my bridesmaids and my children have been bms also - and been given their dresses.