In-laws still serve me food they know I don't like

[spotlightq]

Husband and I have been married for 7 years, together 9. I have been a vegetarian the entire time.

Every time we come here to eat, I'll be offered/given something containing meat. I have to then feel rude and say no thank you.

For example yesterday the peas were ready prepared with mint and bloody pancetta. My plate was dished up for me, so I ended up having to leave a load of food on my plate. It looks rude from my side, but I think it's rude of them.

How hard is it!

Yes you can.

The liver king ?

@ChedderGorgeous

why should it be op compromising for the sake of “family harmony”

Utterly bizarre thread. Veggies are not ‘morally superior’ but they have different morals.

I am actually flabbergasted that there are people who serve up meat for vegetarians. I have never heard of this before. I wouldn’t deliberately invite a vegan round, that said but if it was a DIL I would have to cater somehow. Normal veggie is surely pretty easy? I’d just do a veggie meal for everyone or buy a nut roast instead of the meat part.

Because in laws seem stuck in their ways and resistant to change. This is quite a common family dynamic and its always a balance of doing what is right or what will help the family dynamic as a whole.

That decision rests with the individual. Nobody else. Nobody should have to eat anything that makes them feel uncomfortable.

On the off chance somebody does have a werewolf obligate carnivore MIL, in that situation I’d suggest we order in, or eat out. I wouldn’t say “tough shit Mrs Wolf, you will sit there hungry, watching me eat the delicious food I have cooked for myself”.

Fuck no. That tastes horrid and is really bad for you.

@ChedderGorgeous

nah you’re wrong

op shouldn’t have to surrender her vegetarianism

end of

The answer to this is don’t cook for them, go out to the pub. Which is also an option for the in laws in the OP if they don’t want to cook vegetarian.

But wouldn’t doing things you don’t necessarily like also extend to catering for a vegetarian in-law? Expectations around family work both ways.

Tough shit Mrs Wolf 😂😂😂

Yes exactly. Food someone doesn’t like - get over it. Serving meat to a vegetarian - an entirely different matter.

Of course they are out of order to serve you meat!

You can have the goose fat ones then.

😂😂😂

OTOH In the non mumsnet real world 95% of people cook roast potatoes in vegetable or sunflower oil and are still alive.

And no this doesn’t work the other way around - no one has an ethical objection to eating vegetables, or has to have meat.

Yep in 35 years of being a vegetarian and eating at other people’s houses, I have never experienced this. Neither have my kids. Which leads me to believe the in laws are doing it on purpose to be shitty.

I wouldn’t want my kids being taken over to spend time with a bunch or arseholes, by a husband who didn’t have my back without me being there.

I think it’s quite niche in fact to feel you have to, or even that you ordinarily, cook roast potatoes and Yorkshire puddings in meat fat.

Roasts certainly do! You do need to be careful with UPF substitutes in general though or you could make other people unwell.

It's clearly deliberate and absolutely bang out of order. Before the meal, your husband should be saying 'and what's OP going to eat?'
It's awful they can't even get one vegetarian meal right? If they won't feed you then how can they expect you to attend?

So Mil/Fil aren’t even cooking? It’s all pre-prepared from M&S?

the very LEAST they could have done was buy something pre-prepared that was vegetarian, but no. Better to have a pop at their DIL knowing she’s too polite to say anything after 7 YEARS of this shit.

@spotlightq be less polite. A LOT less polite. Take your own food and cook it for yourself

give her back any plate they give you with meat on it and remind them “you’ve known me for 9 years, I’ve been vegetarian since childhood. I don’t eat meat”

The ignorance here is astounding.
i don’t know how you can invite someone to your home for a meal and then ignore their dietary requirements. We are all individuals. The poster is not saying they cannot serve meat, but SHE is vegetarian and it is extremely rude, insensitive, and maybe passive aggressive to keep serving her meat. And it is affecting relationships. OP is not unreasonable at all.

It doesn’t really matter if Op chooses to be a vegetarian for ethical reasons or health reasons, her in laws aren’t exactly contributing to family harmony by forcing meat or meat by products onto her.

Love that response.

The "won't eat vegetarian food, we only eat normal food" response is just bonkers. Assuming it's vegetarian and not vegan, macaroni cheese is vegetarian. Italian , Indian and Thai restaurants have huge vegetarian choices; not because they're doing anything special, it's "normal food"