Husband on phone the whole fucking time he’s with the children

[Hormonalorjustified]

I’m heavily pregnant and extremely hormonal so want to check I’m not overreacting…

DH has been getting up early with our small children throughout my pregnancy. Amazing - what a great dad. So helpful for me to have an extra 1-2 hours in bed. Right?

except that I’ve just learnt that day in, day out, he is, from 5am-7am, just watching YouTube videos on his phone. And they are short videos, 2-3 mins long (eg about football or tv shows or films). So it’s not something he has on in the background (which tbh I also wouldn’t find ideal as 1 and 3 year old need supervision and attention and it isn’t setting the best example/they aren’t allowed screen time in the morning). He has just been actively doomscrolling and watching stuff for hours on end. For months.

I am a SAHM and I have to say this just isn’t parenting for me. I found out he was doing this for a window at the beginning of my pregnancy, explained I didn’t think this was alright and if he didn’t feel up to getting up I would rather do it myself/not do this. He said he understood/agreed. So I trusted him
not to do it. And I find out he has all along!

I totally get some people have different bars for what they do/let their children do and I am not judging for that but AIBU to think I should be able to trust my husband to do what we fucking agreed with our children?! I feel like an idiot I would have rather been up at 5am myself. It explains a lot of things too - DS having a bump etc and him not knowing how it happened, or me sometimes waking up to hear DS communicating but not able to hear my husband responding for several minutes.

@Purplecatshopaholic swap his smartphone use for smoking around the kids. Does your argument still stand?

Bec ause he is busy keeping a roof over their heads and food on the table perhaps?

When your children are teenagers, my ultra early-risers now are, you’re going to look back and realise that their father being on his phone between 5am and 7am when they were little babies has had zero effect on their lives. Honestly, whatever gets you through those small hours of the day is fine. Genuinely, said with kindness.

@ageratum1

Bec ause he is busy keeping a roof over their heads and food on the table perhaps?

Oh, I understand the purpose of a job. Thanks for the explain though.

He's a man who likes to complain about toxic femininity and call women deranged on a regular basis (oh us and our hysterical hormonalness)

I agree with the ignore and report, it was morning and my brain hadn't registered the username 🤦‍♀️

Do you actually believe he only looks after his children two hours a day here?

Please abide by the rules of this forum. No singling out or blaming.

thank you.

@Westernesse

Do you actually believe he only looks after his children two hours a day here?

I have no reason to disbelieve OP

You said: “I can't get past the fact at the ages of 1 and 3 they also have ipads.
But then I suppose that's what it is this day and age.”

There was zero evidence that these children have their own iPads on which to base your pearl clutching.

Who is advocating do as I say not as I do? I wouldn’t have bought an iPad for my child, and at that age she’d probably have broken it. But we are not anti-screen time and she has used tablets plenty of times and watches TV. There’s no hypocrisy in any of that.

This basically sums up the thread.

Despite masses of evidence of the harm of parental smartphone usage, recognising this fact is an inconvenient threat to precious scrolling time. So PPs would rather ignore the actual problem of deceit and lack of shared parenting values and pile on the OP, lest they admit that they are pschologically damaging their children.

Children cannot tell the time. Making mornings sedate and un-exciting does not necessitate parental phone use. She is not asking him to behave like Mary Poppins, she is asking him to stop harming their baby and toddler and has even offered to take over the graveyard shift if he is incapable of doing this.

It’s hard to picture the OP bouncing out of bed at 7am and taking over cheerily until bedtime.

He is their parent and entitled to parent them in whatever way he wishes - if you didn’t agree with his parenting style why have three kids with him? You unfortunately cannot dictate what another adult does with their own children, even if they are being neglectful

I've stated facts based off previous interactions on threads with you where you have repeatedly called women deranged and talked about being a man etc. But I've also never seen a rule about no singling out or blaming, but that's interesting you think there is one given how vitrolic (blaming) you are being about the OP

I have no doubt you like the last word, so for clarity, I won't be responding again even though I have no doubt you will try to goad me into doing so.

This

You are targeting me personally and also lying with ad hominem personal attacks.

disagree with anything I am saying by all means but stop the personal attacks please.

@Westernesse you come across as a bit of a pumpkin 🎃

reported.

@Westernesse

It’s hard to picture the OP bouncing out of bed at 7am and taking over cheerily until bedtime.

I'm not understanding your point. I never suggested this.

Some people can mulit-task, some cant
Me, I just cant stand people on their mobiles almost 24/7. So, I'm with the OP

Fair doos! 😆

FFS, How did I manage my dc 5am risers before mobiles were invented? They had a video on [over 26years ago] 🙂and I would watch with them for awhile and then we'd cuddle up and doze on the seatee.