Another lunch ruined by other peoples’ children

[Bakeoffskateoff]

Am I being unreasonable to get really pissed off with other people being unable or unwillling to teach their children to sit quietly in cafes and restaurants. Went out for lunch today to our usual weekend cafe. Two lots of families with kids aged five to eight who were noisy, whiny, annoying, sat on tables, crying. I had to hurry my lunch down to get out of there as soon as possible. I’m sick of parents who think little Freddie is so cute for making loud tractor noises, causing other diners to turn around. No one else appreciates your child quite like you do.

If you can’t teach your child manners please don’t take them out where there are other people.

Yeah it's easy if there's two parents and one or two children.

Yep, this.

Shit parents create shittier kids.

👏🏼👏🏼👍🏻👍🏻

I don't give a toss if my kid is being loud while having fun out with me, I won't let him be rude. But I will not stop him being a 4 year old even if that means a boring old fart shoots us a shitty look.

We sat in a tiny, quiet remote pub this afternoon and the table next to us had to kids playing dominoes. Except they weren’t playing normal dominoes, they were piling them up into towers and then knocking them down onto the wooden table. Again and again. Really loud. Parents did fuck all.

Children should be seen and not heard .

Yes kids don't need to be running around and noisy in a restaurant

Equally if I'm out for a meal and take mini blondes 7 I take a colouring book/pens /reading book as she loves to read and then if last resort she can have my phone but that's not often

So yes parents need to think about the location

Equally you could go somewhere adult only rather then keep going to same place there you know kids are there

Wholeheartedy agree with this.

DS is two. 90% of the time he’ll sit quietly and colour/chat/do stickers or whatever when we take him out, and then eat nicely. He’s good like that, but it’s taken practice. Sometimes he won’t, and then I’ll do everything I can to keep him quiet and remove him as quickly as possible. Today we went out for lunch and he was pretty well behaved, although he did wonder over to the window just behind us to look out while waiting for his food, which his Dad allowed and I wouldn’t usually.

There’s a balance to be struck. If kids stay in until they’re 10, they’ll never know how to behave, but everyone should be respectful.

And I’ve been lucky because DS has never been much of a crier or a tantrummer, so it’s been easy enough to keep him quiet! I expect it’s a different story if they are, and your only option is to keep leaving with them; which reinforces the behaviour.

Oh god, that miserable judgemental couple are here again without kids.

Every... Single...Week... Sneered at.

You'd think they'd have fucked off somewhere else by now.
Quick kids, drink your Red Bulls, make a scene! They'll get the message sooner or later.

Isn’t that what kids do? 🤷🏼‍♀️I get your point if they were lobbing them at you

Gawd I wouldn't have gone out on Easter Sunday children even normally well behaved ones can be hyper. Full of chocolate yet hangry. Visiting my grandchildren today we were talking about this that eating out would today have been a disaster. Instead they had an Easter egg hunt, then lunch with family.

They were still bouncing at 7pm. 😂😂

YANBU at all, OP.

I love children, but can’t stand badly behaved ones. Unfortunately they are everywhere, because so many people have just opted out of parenting.

I had this once in a lovely pub. Table nearby of around 3 families, big group with toddlers.
Adults were just sat drinking and chatting while the kids wandered round the pub annoying other diners, screaming, demanding attention, chucking stuff around.

At the end of the meal I went over to ask politely if I could have the 3 stuffed pandas back that one of the kids had grabbed despite our best efforts and was now merrily chewing and slobbering over. The mum was a bit shirty in the "he was only playing with them" vibe.

"Yes but they are my dog's favourite chew toys and we're leaving now" was my response. The mum's face was priceless when she realised her precious darling was sharing a chew toy with my spaniel.

That's an original motto, thanks for sharing.

Children should only leave the table for:

1. Visiting the toilet
2. Taking them to the buffet, drinks machine or ice cream machine (adults taking them). A Pizza Hut closed off the ice cream machine after a DC used the ice cream machine and dispensed the IC from the machine to his mouth and his mouth was touching the nozzle. Gross. My friend saw this and the child was about 4.

Yes because all families should stay locked inside at home, until their kids turn 18 and they can finally venture Outside, gazing in wonderment at all that Outside has to offer now that they are old enough to not get on your nerves.

YABU

If you can tell me the secret to keep my kids quiet please do share it! They are so loud and excitable I tell them to lower the volume at least 50x a day! At least you only have to suffer them through a meal - I have to live with it 24/7 😂. I'm sure people will say 'in ye olden days we raised them to be quiet and polite' but in ye olden days kids lived in fear of a good thrashing, which is rather disapproved of nowadays.

And those people on the thread saying they manage it with no issues, I bet you have girls!

OP maybe you need to eat slightly nicer / more exotic places? Pre kids I was rarely bothered by other people's children but then I prefer food that's spicy / not particularly kid friendly, so I didn't tend to overlap with families.

It’s not easy to keep children quiet and still but I do it because otherwise it will ruin MY lunch let alone anyone elses. We find coming armed with various colouring and sticker books helpful and we do have to include her in the conversation. DD is pretty loud as in she yell talks (working on it) but if she started walking around Dh and I would tackle that immediately.

It’s just teaching her how to behave reasonably so she doesn’t turn into an utterly ignorant adult.

You sound miserable. I don’t agree with kids running around but at that age they do sometimes make silly noises and cry.

If you want to live in society and benefit from the welfare state these kids will be contributing to when you’re really old, you should be a bit more tolerant.

Proving my point perfectly. You don't give a toss about other people so long as your kid is having fun.
No one wants silence but why is being loud necessary to enjoyment?

And what if the children were neurodiverse Op?

Adult-only cafes? I've never seen such a place.

Agree OP. We were in Costco yesterday where 2 children were playing "it" among the aisles. Literally tearing around, skidding round corners, screaming, no regard for anyone. A member of staff managed to stop them and tell them not to run. Why should staff have to parent people's children.
Recent meal in local steak restaurant and a few families requested one table for the adults and another for the children but the tables weren't next to each other. The kids were incredibly loud, and watching videos disturbing diners while their parents had a peaceful meal!

Jesus Christ.

It is a process with kids and the gains can be incremental (DD had the biggest regression in behaviour outside just after 4, up to this point she had been really easy to take out for lunch). Because I have my own I’m pretty tolerant of other peoples kids because they are still learning. I’d only be annoyed if parents made literally 0 effort to guide their kids to the appropriate behaviour.

I find it pretty funny to watch parents chase down madcap toddlers these days (my toddler days are over so now it’s cute to me) not so funny when the parent doesn’t care that their kid has just wandered off and is bothering other people.