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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband stole kids' Easter eggs

423 replies

AnnBoo · 31/03/2024 15:38

Not sure if this is unreasonable, my friends seem to agree with me but wanted an outsider's opinion...

I'll try to keep this short.

Last night my hubby went out to the pub while I stayed home with the kids. I fancied a night out myself- haven't had one in months- but didn't have the option since he wanted to see the lads. He said he would go only have a few rounds and be home by about 10:00-10:30pm, but stumbled in at about 1. I was already in bed, and woke up to the slam of the front door but fell back asleep shortly after he came in. This morning I woke up around 6am to set up the kids Easter egg hunt, but to my surprise the cupboard was empty. I then found a huge heap of cardboard and tin foil beside the sofa. All 4 Easter eggs- 2 each for the kids- were demolished, along with brown smears all over our new beige sofa. LIVID!
It's not the first time he's done this too! My 7 year old daughter's Christmas chocolate disappeared late one night, luckily with enough time to replace before Xmas day. But this time, I've had no chance to.
My kids came downstairs so excited this morning but their faces absolutely dropped as I told them what happened. My husband was hungover and dead asleep in bed until midday, when he got up I explained to him how upset he's made the kids. He didn't even bat an eyelid before he went to make his coffee.

I've asked him to stay at his mums for the next few nights, or until he replaces the chocolate (which he's refusing to do). AIBU?

OP posts:
Newtonianmechanics · 31/03/2024 17:55

How was he not sick? Did he have the munchies not just drink?

As po said most people crave carbs. I couldn't eat 4 eggs sober ( and I can pack food away) without being sick definitely not after a skinful. It does seem deliberate.

Is he this thoughtless in every day life?

jannier · 31/03/2024 18:01

If he were my son I wouldn't be having him in my house either what a selfish arse ...but if mummy takes him in I guess he won't ever see reason.

Daisy12Maisie · 31/03/2024 18:01

Really selfish as you can't get eggs today. He could have fixed it by getting up and going to buy normal chocolate bars today and hiding them for the kids.

LouOver · 31/03/2024 18:02

As others have said its the lack of remorse.

If he had woken up mortified and run to the shops to replace this could have been one of those stories you tell your kids as a funny anecdote when their in their twenties with their own kids.

Instead this is a situation where a drunk person becomes more of who they are, he knew what he was doing would be hurtful but he had lost the inabition to care on the potential fall out. Ltb.

jannier · 31/03/2024 18:03

I think the fact you wanted to go out and haven't been able to in months but his need to see the lads is a priority sums up his attitude even before the eggs, don't give a crap about the kids reaction.

Universalsnail · 31/03/2024 18:05

This would be a deal breaker for me. All of it. The fact you can't go out because he wants a night with the lads. The fact he would eat all the kids Easter chocolate when they were unable to be replaced. I bet these aren't the only problems you have. No way would I be with this man

Irridescantshimmmer · 31/03/2024 18:07

He needs to apologise to the kids, and replace every single egg as he's a absolute disgrace and should be totally disgusted with himself.

He's worse than a stray dog, with muddy paws on white carpet and he should remove the chocolate stains from your sofa himself and stay in the dog house for a long tine for being a tw@t.

In future, you could hide chocolate from him so your kids don't miss out as he's a greedy so and so.

xyz111 · 31/03/2024 18:07

I wouldn't be letting him back in the house until he well and truly apologises and makes it up to all of you. What a selfish prick. How is he when he hasn't had a drink?

ToxicChristmas · 31/03/2024 18:08

LouOver · 31/03/2024 18:02

As others have said its the lack of remorse.

If he had woken up mortified and run to the shops to replace this could have been one of those stories you tell your kids as a funny anecdote when their in their twenties with their own kids.

Instead this is a situation where a drunk person becomes more of who they are, he knew what he was doing would be hurtful but he had lost the inabition to care on the potential fall out. Ltb.

Exactly.
It's so greedy but if he had been mortified and offered to replace the eggs immediately, apologised to the kids and cleaned the sofa I'd be pissed off but more forgiving.
The total lack of remorse is awful. I can't imagine upsetting my kids and not being remotely bothered. He's a real prick and I'd not want to be married to someone who could treat children like that.

Flapearedknave · 31/03/2024 18:09

AmiShitsaline · 31/03/2024 15:46

I don’t believe anyone would do this

There's been another thread this week of a 'dh' doing the same. This other one wasn't drunk though.

Annielou67 · 31/03/2024 18:10

On the surface, he ate some chocolate that wasn’t his, when he was drunk- deep down though there are big problems here and I’m guessing this is not the first time he has behaved badly.
Not having remorse is a huge waving red flag and tbh just isn’t normal, sane, fatherly, loving - you and your kids deserve better.

Agentdanascullyx · 31/03/2024 18:10

I totally believe it, my dad used to do it with my Christmas chocolates then re wrap the box, I’d open a box of empty wrappers never once replaced them. Keep him locked out op, he’s a selfish bastard

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 31/03/2024 18:11

Peachy2005 · 31/03/2024 17:21

Chocolate isn’t even the thing you crave when you’ve been drinking, and not in such quantities…it seems deliberate!

Speak for yourself - I become a chocolate craving monster after alcohol

YouJustDoYou · 31/03/2024 18:11

What an absolute piece of shit

Screamingabdabz · 31/03/2024 18:12

Doesn’t he care about his children?

EarthlyNightshade · 31/03/2024 18:12

NatNoo · 31/03/2024 15:45

YABU. Everyone does things they regret when they’re drunk. Surely you have a shop locally where you can get some replacements.

Why on earth should OP fix something her husband did and is not sorry for?

AgileMentor · 31/03/2024 18:14

The fact he didn’t even bat an eyelid shows he doesn’t care. I would be absolutely raging.

EerieSilence · 31/03/2024 18:15

NatNoo · 31/03/2024 15:45

YABU. Everyone does things they regret when they’re drunk. Surely you have a shop locally where you can get some replacements.

No, not everyone. Some people even don't drink so much so they do things they would regret. Like robbing their children of Easter eggs and then being completely chill about it.
He should at least apologise but to be honest with you, it would take a long time to trust someone like that again.

AgileMentor · 31/03/2024 18:15

EarthlyNightshade · 31/03/2024 18:12

Why on earth should OP fix something her husband did and is not sorry for?

Show quote history

If he regretted it wouldn’t it have been a one off at Christmas? I usually think a lot of mumsnetters are being unreasonable but the OP is absolutely not in the wrong. He didn’t even apologise which shows no regret.

Marssuri · 31/03/2024 18:17

Kind of men who would make me want to be single forever

WarshipRocinante · 31/03/2024 18:19

I’ve got two boys. They’re pre-teen still but honestly, all the things I read on here about shitty men and then always, “Go to their mum’s.” I don’t know if I’d want to offer them sanctuary if they’d been since an ass to their families. I’d be furious! You like to think you’re raising them better than that.

Therealjudgejudy · 31/03/2024 18:20

What a nasty selfish twat.

Hope you told his mum what her Prince of a son did.

MrsMiddleMother · 31/03/2024 18:20

Yanbu! That's actually disgusting behaviour. One egg while drunk I'd understand but all of them! Plus the smudges on the sofa and no remorse. Awful. I'd have sent him out to the nearest coop and small tesco first then to his mums.

MrsWhites · 31/03/2024 18:21

Why exactly is he refusing to replace the eggs? I can’t get my head around this part. Surely if you behaved this greedily and selfishly when drunk, you’d be mortified and do everything you could to put it right.

There is a bigger issue here with his character if he doesn’t recognise how out of order he is.

LakeTiticaca · 31/03/2024 18:21

He should be hanging his head in shame. I would be at solicitors 1st thing next week starting divorce proceedings