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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have said “oh well”

145 replies

Eastre · 31/03/2024 13:19

Whenever I’m in the garden these past few weeks next doors child sticks his head over the fence asking what I’m doing.
Hanging the washing out
cleaning the pavers
playing with the dog … constant “what are you doing?” “Why are you doing that?” Etc etc
its driving me nuts.
this morning I went out to do some gardening, he sticks his head over and asks what I’m doing. I said “gardening” he said “why?” I said “because I want to”.

He persistently tried to talk to me over the fence and I just wanted to get on in peace. Anyway I put the lawnmower on and could hear him trying to shout over it to me but I ignored it. When I turned it off he said “I don’t like you using that, it’s noisy” so I said “oh well” and turned it back on and carried on cutting the grass.

when I’d finished his mum appeared over the fence asking if everything was ok. I said it was so she said her son had gone in upset saying I had told him off!! This is not true at all, I just didn’t want to stand there chatting all day! I told her he’d said he didn’t like the sound of the lawnmower but my grass needs cutting unfortunately! She said “no worries” with a bit of an eye roll and went back inside. Was I out of order?? I just want to enjoy my garden in peace!

OP posts:
PrimalLass · 31/03/2024 13:20

No. You were perfectly reasonable.

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:21

I hate to be that guy, but it does sound as if this child is ND. The asking why you are doing things is textbook.

Either that or he's massively spoilt or entitled. Only you know.

It sounds hugely irritating and she should parent her child.

Concannon88 · 31/03/2024 13:21

Haha what a prick. You did nothing wrong. Next time he pops up just say can you stop shouting over the fence please. Fingers crossed it'll upset him and he'll go inside again.

HelloMiss · 31/03/2024 13:22

I'd put on headphones! Pretend you can't hear him

Sunnydays0101 · 31/03/2024 13:22

Completely ignore him the next time. Can you do anything to increase the height of the fence - plant tall shrubs, etc.

Hankunamatata · 31/03/2024 13:23

R u sure eye roll wasn't for her son being a pain in the butt?

NillyNoMates · 31/03/2024 13:24

I think the eye roll was for him. She is probably used to him being annoying.

Prinnny · 31/03/2024 13:26

Of course you did nothing wrong, sounds like you’ve been more than patient, he would drive me insane!

Oneofthesurvivors · 31/03/2024 13:26

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:21

I hate to be that guy, but it does sound as if this child is ND. The asking why you are doing things is textbook.

Either that or he's massively spoilt or entitled. Only you know.

It sounds hugely irritating and she should parent her child.

All kids go through a "why" phase.

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:27

Oneofthesurvivors · 31/03/2024 13:26

All kids go through a "why" phase.

Yes , but it's common in complex needs. I say that working in that area.
That said, OP did nothing wrong and ND or not the parent should be going out to tellvhim that we don't harass neighbours!

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:28

Anybody remember the thread about the woman who would always stick her head up, and when OP made her fence higher she bought a trampoline so sue could carry on bouncing to talk to OP, or did I dream it?

WYorkshireRose · 31/03/2024 13:28

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:21

I hate to be that guy, but it does sound as if this child is ND. The asking why you are doing things is textbook.

Either that or he's massively spoilt or entitled. Only you know.

It sounds hugely irritating and she should parent her child.

Are you joking? I recognise the "why, why, why" phase in pretty much every 4-7 year old I've ever met. There's nothing to remotely suggest ND.

Oneofthesurvivors · 31/03/2024 13:28

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:27

Yes , but it's common in complex needs. I say that working in that area.
That said, OP did nothing wrong and ND or not the parent should be going out to tellvhim that we don't harass neighbours!

But my point is its common in all kids. It's a well acknowledged phase

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:29

Oneofthesurvivors · 31/03/2024 13:28

But my point is its common in all kids. It's a well acknowledged phase

I hear your point, I got it the first time. I don't think many children go and ask it to their.neighbours and tell them to turn their lawn mower off though do they.

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:30

WYorkshireRose · 31/03/2024 13:28

Are you joking? I recognise the "why, why, why" phase in pretty much every 4-7 year old I've ever met. There's nothing to remotely suggest ND.

No, I don't joke about disabilities.

I don't need to justify my opinion to you.

ImWatching · 31/03/2024 13:30

Hankunamatata · 31/03/2024 13:23

R u sure eye roll wasn't for her son being a pain in the butt?

That’s how I read it.

EmilyTjP · 31/03/2024 13:33

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:27

Yes , but it's common in complex needs. I say that working in that area.
That said, OP did nothing wrong and ND or not the parent should be going out to tellvhim that we don't harass neighbours!

It’s common in all young children!

meganorks · 31/03/2024 13:36

You didn't say or do anything wrong. I'm not sure the mum did either though. She came out to check what was said. I would have thought the eye roll was for the son rather than you.

HelloMiss · 31/03/2024 13:37

I think the 'why' is normal for all children.....ND or not!

There's always someone who 'works in this area' and will diagnose from the other side of the screen tho!

LadyKenya · 31/03/2024 13:37

The child is learning about the world around them, and is showing an interest in what is going on. A little bit of patience costs nothing. My brother always fondly remembers Mr Jones, a neighbour who fixed his punctured bicycle tyre for him, when he was a boy. He has never forgotten his kindness, that he showed him.

Dweetfidilove · 31/03/2024 13:37

You poor thing. The “what, why and did you know” - that phase is haaard, so good luck.
Hopefully they’ll remind him not to harass the neighbours too much.

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:37

EmilyTjP · 31/03/2024 13:33

It’s common in all young children!

The two statements aren't mutually exclusive.

Devilsmommy · 31/03/2024 13:37

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:28

Anybody remember the thread about the woman who would always stick her head up, and when OP made her fence higher she bought a trampoline so sue could carry on bouncing to talk to OP, or did I dream it?

🤣 no I remember this too. Can't remember the title of it though

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:38

HelloMiss · 31/03/2024 13:37

I think the 'why' is normal for all children.....ND or not!

There's always someone who 'works in this area' and will diagnose from the other side of the screen tho!

You might want to read my post again before you try to be clever.

I do work in complex needs. Its hardly rare for that to be the case, there are lots of Schools you know.

I didn't diagnose him. I said he could be ND. I said he could also be an entitled twat. Only the boys mum knows that.

Absolutely no need to be so snipy.

Dweetfidilove · 31/03/2024 13:39

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:28

Anybody remember the thread about the woman who would always stick her head up, and when OP made her fence higher she bought a trampoline so sue could carry on bouncing to talk to OP, or did I dream it?

Surely this didn’t happen 🫣🤣🤣🤣.
No words 😅.