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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have said “oh well”

145 replies

Eastre · 31/03/2024 13:19

Whenever I’m in the garden these past few weeks next doors child sticks his head over the fence asking what I’m doing.
Hanging the washing out
cleaning the pavers
playing with the dog … constant “what are you doing?” “Why are you doing that?” Etc etc
its driving me nuts.
this morning I went out to do some gardening, he sticks his head over and asks what I’m doing. I said “gardening” he said “why?” I said “because I want to”.

He persistently tried to talk to me over the fence and I just wanted to get on in peace. Anyway I put the lawnmower on and could hear him trying to shout over it to me but I ignored it. When I turned it off he said “I don’t like you using that, it’s noisy” so I said “oh well” and turned it back on and carried on cutting the grass.

when I’d finished his mum appeared over the fence asking if everything was ok. I said it was so she said her son had gone in upset saying I had told him off!! This is not true at all, I just didn’t want to stand there chatting all day! I told her he’d said he didn’t like the sound of the lawnmower but my grass needs cutting unfortunately! She said “no worries” with a bit of an eye roll and went back inside. Was I out of order?? I just want to enjoy my garden in peace!

OP posts:
Caluse · 31/03/2024 13:39

Why not just say "oh sorry sweetie I know it's noisy but I need to cut the grass. It won't take long"

And when he keeps asking you questions say "it's been nice to chat but I need to get on now, we can talk again another day"

You know, actually model some manners and social graces? You sound pretty rude OP, he's just a child trying to chat

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:40

Dweetfidilove · 31/03/2024 13:39

Surely this didn’t happen 🫣🤣🤣🤣.
No words 😅.

I'm gonna have to find it. I hope it's in classics.

The update about the trampoline had me wheezing.

CloudsUnderwater · 31/03/2024 13:41

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BobbyBiscuits · 31/03/2024 13:41

He sounds intensely annoying. Surely he must have more fun things to do. Does he have siblings, playdates? The poor little lad might be lonely. Not your problem though.
I guess wear headphones. If you just politely say once, 'oh I can't hear you, I'm listening to something.' Then just blank him. Eventually he will get the message.
The mum needs to toughen up a bit as well. Not sure how you should approach her to be honest. He can't say you are telling him off if you can't hear him and don't speak to him.

Springtime79 · 31/03/2024 13:41

Caluse · 31/03/2024 13:39

Why not just say "oh sorry sweetie I know it's noisy but I need to cut the grass. It won't take long"

And when he keeps asking you questions say "it's been nice to chat but I need to get on now, we can talk again another day"

You know, actually model some manners and social graces? You sound pretty rude OP, he's just a child trying to chat

There’s nothing polite about invading someone’s personal space. She is under absolutely no obligation to entertain this kid!
I have three kids, I’d be mortified and apologetic if they were pestering the neighbours in their own garden. Cannot believe the mum pulled you up on “telling her kid off”! Cheeky fucking cow!!

Hermittrismegistus · 31/03/2024 13:42

Caluse · 31/03/2024 13:39

Why not just say "oh sorry sweetie I know it's noisy but I need to cut the grass. It won't take long"

And when he keeps asking you questions say "it's been nice to chat but I need to get on now, we can talk again another day"

You know, actually model some manners and social graces? You sound pretty rude OP, he's just a child trying to chat

What do you do when the child still continues to talk to you though?
At some point you have to be a little rude and just ignore them until they get the message/ get bored.

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:42

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Another one who is making things up.
I didn't say she had to engage with him and have repeatedly said she's done nothing wrong.

All I did was suggest there might be ND there, bloody hell

AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 31/03/2024 13:42

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:21

I hate to be that guy, but it does sound as if this child is ND. The asking why you are doing things is textbook.

Either that or he's massively spoilt or entitled. Only you know.

It sounds hugely irritating and she should parent her child.

Sounds like the kid is annoying. I know plenty of NT kids who do this. Annoying little buggers who haven’t been taught how to human yet.

edit - just saw you work with ND kids. I worked mainly with NT kids. They all do this.

CloudsUnderwater · 31/03/2024 13:43

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CloudsUnderwater · 31/03/2024 13:45

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IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:46

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Except for the part in mu post where I said she shouldn't.

fatphalange · 31/03/2024 13:56

A very mundane interaction. Do you really think there was a chance you were being unreasonable? Just wondering why you would ask.

NearlyBritishSummertimeYay · 31/03/2024 13:56

I love kids & have a lot of patience with them, but even I reach the end of my rope with kids like this.

you didn't do anything wrong, but I'd have just said 'that's a shame, lawnmowers are noisy, but if you go in your house it won't seem do loud'.

i would have assumed the eye roll was for her DS, but maybe not. If I really felt it was aimed at me, I'd have said something to her, like 'if that's his idea of being 'told if' he needs to be taught not to be annoying' he will also learn the difference between being told off & being told 'tough'.

HelloMiss · 31/03/2024 13:57

fatphalange · 31/03/2024 13:56

A very mundane interaction. Do you really think there was a chance you were being unreasonable? Just wondering why you would ask.

I think the op feels the mothers eye roll was aimed at her?

Oneofthesurvivors · 31/03/2024 14:08

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:37

The two statements aren't mutually exclusive.

So if you accept its common in all young children you then have to accept its not something that can be used to flag up neurodiversities.

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 14:08

Oneofthesurvivors · 31/03/2024 14:08

So if you accept its common in all young children you then have to accept its not something that can be used to flag up neurodiversities.

Honestly, it's Easter Sunday. I said what I said. I can't be arsed 🤣🤣

RichPetunia · 31/03/2024 14:09

All kids go through the why phase. A little patience and little chat back and forth costs nothing.

Oneofthesurvivors · 31/03/2024 14:09

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:29

I hear your point, I got it the first time. I don't think many children go and ask it to their.neighbours and tell them to turn their lawn mower off though do they.

That wasn't the point you were making though.

Oneofthesurvivors · 31/03/2024 14:10

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 14:08

Honestly, it's Easter Sunday. I said what I said. I can't be arsed 🤣🤣

What you said was wrong.

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 14:12

Oneofthesurvivors · 31/03/2024 14:10

What you said was wrong.

Oh ffs.

It can be a sign of ND. It can also not be.
You're literally behaving like I've killed someone.

Leave me alone with my easter eggs 🤣

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 14:12

Oneofthesurvivors · 31/03/2024 14:09

That wasn't the point you were making though.

You are a little bit obsessed with me. Irs worrying. Stop.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 31/03/2024 14:13

I'd think she was rolling her eyes at her child telling her a lot of nonsense about you telling him off - he's probably one of those kids who goes 'Mummmmeeee, the teacher shouted at me' or 'I was told off and missed my playtime/wasn't allowed to eat my lunch' when the dinnerlady either said he couldn't go out two minutes after he sat down or he was too busy chatting to have more than the pudding.

SKG231 · 31/03/2024 14:14

ND or not, his parents should be telling him it’s rude to be peering over into next doors garden and constantly talking to them.

KimFan · 31/03/2024 14:15

Put up a higher fence 🤣

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