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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have said “oh well”

145 replies

Eastre · 31/03/2024 13:19

Whenever I’m in the garden these past few weeks next doors child sticks his head over the fence asking what I’m doing.
Hanging the washing out
cleaning the pavers
playing with the dog … constant “what are you doing?” “Why are you doing that?” Etc etc
its driving me nuts.
this morning I went out to do some gardening, he sticks his head over and asks what I’m doing. I said “gardening” he said “why?” I said “because I want to”.

He persistently tried to talk to me over the fence and I just wanted to get on in peace. Anyway I put the lawnmower on and could hear him trying to shout over it to me but I ignored it. When I turned it off he said “I don’t like you using that, it’s noisy” so I said “oh well” and turned it back on and carried on cutting the grass.

when I’d finished his mum appeared over the fence asking if everything was ok. I said it was so she said her son had gone in upset saying I had told him off!! This is not true at all, I just didn’t want to stand there chatting all day! I told her he’d said he didn’t like the sound of the lawnmower but my grass needs cutting unfortunately! She said “no worries” with a bit of an eye roll and went back inside. Was I out of order?? I just want to enjoy my garden in peace!

OP posts:
Minata · 31/03/2024 16:25

Fgs - child being annoying = probably ND.

No wonder people just have low tolerance for people who have actual needs.

Asking why is being highly annoying but it's also completely normal.

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 16:26

Eastre · 31/03/2024 16:22

Off the top of my head we’ve had the following conversations:

why are you hanging washing
why are you washing the pavers
why are you looking for a battery
why are you in the shed
why is the dog sniffing the grass
why are you putting the rubbish out
why does your bin have that sticker on it
why is your window open
why do you have welly boots
why is the doormat outside
why is there a brush near the fence
why do you have pyjamas on
why do you not have shoes on
why did you swear (I wasn’t swearing at him and didn’t realise he was there)
why is your phone always ringing

…. these are all separate conversations. It’s beyond a joke

Sorry op I don't mean to laugh 😭

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 16:26

Minata · 31/03/2024 16:25

Fgs - child being annoying = probably ND.

No wonder people just have low tolerance for people who have actual needs.

Asking why is being highly annoying but it's also completely normal.

Except I didn't say that. I've been quoted so many times you should at least be able to read it!

HollyKnight · 31/03/2024 17:42

Missing the point, but is it not one of those unspoken social rules that you're not supposed to do noisy activities on Sundays? My neighbours would have lynched me if I'd started mowing the grass on a quiet Sunday.

JMSA · 31/03/2024 17:45

People on here have a largely hateful unsympathetic view of other people's children.
I couldn't be as cold towards a curious child. I work with them for a start!

Floatinginatincan · 31/03/2024 17:47

Sounds like a non-event, really. The kid told the mum you'd told him off, and she came out to check.probably more so to see if he'd done anything. You clarified the situation, and everyone went about their business.

DustyLee123 · 31/03/2024 17:48

I’d be buying a sprinkler

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 17:49

JMSA · 31/03/2024 17:45

People on here have a largely hateful unsympathetic view of other people's children.
I couldn't be as cold towards a curious child. I work with them for a start!

So do I, but I don't want tondo it 24 7

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 31/03/2024 17:49

Just tell her that you had to get on with the things that needed doing - you definitely weren't telling him off but also couldn't chat over the sound of a lawnmower.
Also tell her to entertain her own child and don't let him bother you so much.

AnnaKristie · 31/03/2024 17:50

Only three replies in, and someone is already suggesting ND. It gets irritating.

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 31/03/2024 17:54

Trellis and spikey plants 🪴

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 17:55

AnnaKristie · 31/03/2024 17:50

Only three replies in, and someone is already suggesting ND. It gets irritating.

5 pages in , and somebody pips up each page to make the comment that has been done to death. Now that gets irritating.

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 31/03/2024 17:57

YANBU get headphones, even fake ones. Bloody annoying having to deal with that.

SlashBeef · 31/03/2024 17:57

@IWasAimingForTheSky surprised you didn't need a trigger warning for this thread tbh 😉

HurryupHenry · 31/03/2024 17:59

How can anyone diagnose ND on this information only? @IWasAimingForTheSky you could make a fortune being able to diagnose like that.

@Eastre he sounds annoying. You weren’t rude at all.

PuppyMonkey · 31/03/2024 17:59

Sounds like you’re being far too nice and engaging to me OP. Next time he asks what are you doing, tell him “nothing” and turn your back or say “can’t talk today” or “piss off inside, you nosy bastard.”Grin

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 17:59

SlashBeef · 31/03/2024 17:57

@IWasAimingForTheSky surprised you didn't need a trigger warning for this thread tbh 😉

Bringing thread disreputes into others
Harassment
Derailing

Are you aware that's against thr guidelines? I'm not particularly bothered I just think it's very strange, odd behaviour. You carry on.

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 18:00

HurryupHenry · 31/03/2024 17:59

How can anyone diagnose ND on this information only? @IWasAimingForTheSky you could make a fortune being able to diagnose like that.

@Eastre he sounds annoying. You weren’t rude at all.

Jesus Christ. How manu times

I didn't diagnose him. I said ot COULD be, I also said he could just be am entitled wee boy.

Honestly, give it a rest.

IncompleteSenten · 31/03/2024 18:03

There's no way that trampoline thread was real. Good joke I would have thought.

Op, it's fine to ignore the kid. Put headphones on for plausible deniability.

SlashBeef · 31/03/2024 18:04

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 17:59

Bringing thread disreputes into others
Harassment
Derailing

Are you aware that's against thr guidelines? I'm not particularly bothered I just think it's very strange, odd behaviour. You carry on.

We have something in common then because I think you're very odd too 🙂 I'm sure your diagnosis of ND is against some kind of professional guidelines somewhere, what with you working in that area and everything.

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MrsMiddleMother · 31/03/2024 18:15

Whether he's ND or not really doesn't matter. If you don't like him peering over the fence constantly talking to you OP, you need to speak to his mother about it. It's rude and unwanted.

Delphiniumandlupins · 31/03/2024 18:17
  1. It's very normal behaviour for small children to question EVERYTHING. But very annoying.
  2. You could wear headphones.
  3. You could just not reply or try "Sorry I can't chat today" - difficult if he can still see you.
  4. You could get out your lawnmower/hedgetrimmer/power-washer/other noisy machinery.
  5. You could try questioning him back (he may get into a long reply and you can switch off).
  6. He may start school after the summer.
  7. Make your fence higher/more solid.

Sorry, not really got any Ideas how to stop him.

GanninHyem · 31/03/2024 18:19

SlashBeef · 31/03/2024 18:04

We have something in common then because I think you're very odd too 🙂 I'm sure your diagnosis of ND is against some kind of professional guidelines somewhere, what with you working in that area and everything.

I wouldn't worry about that poster. They cried on a post earlier today about trigger warnings despite the title of the post being very very very clever about the contents, then cried more about people "tagging" her (or just responding to her nonsense). You canny argue with stupid.

Excelling name though... Pompidou!

FrancisSeaton · 31/03/2024 18:20

IWasAimingForTheSky · 31/03/2024 13:28

Anybody remember the thread about the woman who would always stick her head up, and when OP made her fence higher she bought a trampoline so sue could carry on bouncing to talk to OP, or did I dream it?

So funny but the irony of your username is not lost on me

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