To have said “oh well”

[Eastre]

Whenever I’m in the garden these past few weeks next doors child sticks his head over the fence asking what I’m doing.
Hanging the washing out
cleaning the pavers
playing with the dog … constant “what are you doing?” “Why are you doing that?” Etc etc
its driving me nuts.
this morning I went out to do some gardening, he sticks his head over and asks what I’m doing. I said “gardening” he said “why?” I said “because I want to”.

He persistently tried to talk to me over the fence and I just wanted to get on in peace. Anyway I put the lawnmower on and could hear him trying to shout over it to me but I ignored it. When I turned it off he said “I don’t like you using that, it’s noisy” so I said “oh well” and turned it back on and carried on cutting the grass.

when I’d finished his mum appeared over the fence asking if everything was ok. I said it was so she said her son had gone in upset saying I had told him off!! This is not true at all, I just didn’t want to stand there chatting all day! I told her he’d said he didn’t like the sound of the lawnmower but my grass needs cutting unfortunately! She said “no worries” with a bit of an eye roll and went back inside. Was I out of order?? I just want to enjoy my garden in peace!

Oh her....

I remember that…! What happened to bouncy neighbour 🤪😶

I posted it upthreax :)

This too will pass ... the novelty will wear off.

Tbh it was probably an internal eye roll at her DS 🤭

Eye roll was probably at her son, who sounds neurodiverse. You could try actually explaining and answering him rather than just saying "because I want to".

Sometimes children like that literally want to know WHY you are eg cutting all the branches off a bush, because to them it looks like you are wrecking it. Whereas it doesn't take much effort to say "well, these bushes grow quite a bit every year and I don't want it to get too big. If i cut a lot off now, then it will grow over the spring and summer to be the exact size I want."

Most kids are just wanting to learn about the world around them and adults' motivation for doing something when to the kid there is no reason for doing it.

I feel sorry for kids surrounded by adults who don't want to bother answering their questions, especially kids who are neurodiverse and who might ask more questions than the average kid their age, some very direct.

In fact, your OP actually brings to mind exactly a little boy who I work with. Yes, his mum tries to teach him social niceties and manners, as do his teachers at school, but he is often still very direct in his questioning and to people who don't know him as ND then I guess he MIGHT come across as rude sometimes.

It’s been going on weeks though … I’ve not just snapped at him instantly …

“what are you doing?”
“hanging out the washing”
why?
”because it’s just been washed so it’s all wet”
“why did you wash it?”
“because it was dirty”
“why was it dirty? Did it get muddy?”
“some of it did, yes”
“how?”
“from walking the dog”
“why did you walk the dog in mud?”
“the dog likes mud, she’s a pest! Haha”
“why does she like mud?”
“because she’s a pest! Anyway, have to go in now, bye!”
“why do you have to go in?”

——-
“what are you doing?”
“looking for something”
“what are you looking for?”
“a battery”
“what kind of battery? I have a battery, would you like to borrow it?”
“aww no thanks sweets, it’s a special kind of battery but thank you anyway”
“why is it special?”
“because its made for a particular tool”
“what tool?”
“a drill”
“why?”
“why what?”
“why is it made for the drill?”
“dunno, it just is”
“why is your fence leaning over?”
“the wind blew it”
“why havnt you fixed it?”

…. now imagine this … almost daily … for 3 weeks at least …

they moved in just after Christmas. Do I need to pack up and leave before the summer holidays? 😱

Huh? When my child asks ‘why’(which is quite often) I explain; how else is he going to learn?
that said, OP isn’t BU. The mom probably thought was something more serious.

I’d have been clumsy with the hose.

Huh what? If he's out there interrogating the neighbour, she should deal with it!

He hasn’t been at school and the weather has been hit and miss here. Raining most days yes but with the odd hour of sunshine

I thought he was quite cute at first … but then I suppose Damian himself probably looked cute to an unsuspecting neighbour

Op sounds like the mom/ parents aren’t parenting much and sending the kid to the garden to play. Might be time for a gentle chat with them.

I don’t know what his schooling arrangements are, I’ve not spoken to his mum other than the interaction mentioned.

been neighbours since just after Christmas

Yes, he’s always out there! Not sure why I’m being interrogated about his schooling, take it up with his parents! 😂 all I know is everytime I step foot outside, he appears and yes that is often during school hours

Off the top of my head we’ve had the following conversations:

why are you hanging washing
why are you washing the pavers
why are you looking for a battery
why are you in the shed
why is the dog sniffing the grass
why are you putting the rubbish out
why does your bin have that sticker on it
why is your window open
why do you have welly boots
why is the doormat outside
why is there a brush near the fence
why do you have pyjamas on
why do you not have shoes on
why did you swear (I wasn’t swearing at him and didn’t realise he was there)
why is your phone always ringing

…. these are all separate conversations. It’s beyond a joke