To have asked him to choose a different sandwich

[Medsy]

Don't know if it's because it's Easter or what but my local co-ops sandwich section was totally barren, only meat sandwiches left (I'm vegetarian). I saw a man go for the last cheese one there was, so I asked him if he was vegetarian and if not, would he mind if I had it? A woman (wife?) appeared and went batshit at me and called me rude.
It made me quite pissed off actually. I wouldn't have a problem with say a gluten free person asking me if they could have the last gluten free sandwich.
WIBU?

If I wanted a particular type of sandwich and someone took the last one I would just go without, I wouldn't dream of asking them to let me have it. It was rude of you to ask him to hand over his sandwich, and I'm sorry but you being vegetarian has nothing to do with it. YABVU.

I don't think it was cheeky or rude. If you had asked me I wouldn't have been put out.. Im not saying i would have swapped but I wouldnt be upset.
It would have been rude to snatch it from him, spit on it and said ' ha, its mine now'

I honestly don't know why anyone would think that it was rude to ask.

The ones that think it's rude no doubt don't answer the door when they're not expecting anyone.

Idiots.

Exactly, he shouldn't. I usually bring my own food because I can't trust anything I can have will be available, but if this sandwich happened to fit the bill, I don't owe them an explanation of my personal health.

I can say no but the problem is that some people can't and would feel cornered if asked. Hence, first in first served.

People who don't share the exact same view as you are 'idiots'?
You sound as rude and entitled as the OP.

Op: AIBU.?
everyone: yep, and also entitled
OP: OMG I am such a MONSTER…..

I’d have handed it over op, I don’t think it’s that big a deal, you didn’t grab it out of his hand like the bread and toilet roll fights of Covid times!

She's my alter ego.

Philosophy 😂😂😂

Priceless.

This was my exact thought when reading!

Her reaction was over the top but you are ridiculous asking someone for the sandwich.

Potentially, YANBU to ask politely if you could possibly have the last cheese sandwich, and to mention you're asking because you're veggie. He might do you a favour but he'd be well within his rights to say no.

But definitely YABU to ask if he was veggie. It gives the impression you think that he needed a reason to refuse you.

Obviously they shouldn't have gone batshit on you.

Oh my goodness, I'm shocked at the responses on this thread!! @Medsy YANBU, you politely asked, nothing rude at all about that, it's not like you snatched it out of his hand for crying out loud. The woman's response was over the top and unreasonable. You did nothing wrong and were not rude. If you don't ask, you don't get. I'd have done the same if there was only one sandwich left that didn't have my allergy food in it. Nothing wrong in politely asking, as long as you graciously accept a no response.

I actually don't know what the world is coming to when you have had so many batshit replies on this thread. In my culture, no one would think twice to do someone a favour like this.

It shows 84% of people have been raised with a smattering of manners and the try and be agreeable and helpful, and not put someone in the position of having to say no.
You know that the guy would have chosen a meat sandwich if he had wanted one, so why do you think you are entitled to ask fir it?

@Medsy I find it concerning and sad to live in a society where someone can't politely, in a friendly way and applying no pressure, ask if there's any chance someone would be okay with swapping sandwiches. It's hardly "Hey do you mind if I take a dump un your basket?" is it?

No, it isn't but it's definitely applying pressure, to attempt to guilt trip the bloke into handing over his sandwich to a 'needy' vegetarian.

Do you by any chance also practice yoga and mindfulness, as I've found that a sense of entitlement often goes hand in hand?

Or maybe he wasn't that fussed on what flavour he had and just grabbed the first one? Who knows? We'll never know, but there was no harm in asking politely if he'd swap. It's not bad manners to politely ask.

Is it really so awkward to reply "Actually, I want to stick with the cheese".

Here’s the rude one RIGHT HERE.

I wouldn’t have asked. I would have bought a two rolls and some sliced cheese.

Read that back to yourself, @MummaMummaJumma.
What is it you fancy?

When my mother was very little, @Medsy, she thought she would just die if she didn’t get a Milky Way candy bar.
She begged, she pleaded, she carried on to my grandfather to no avail and this is what he told her:
”It doesn’t hurt you to want.”

You know that the guy would have chosen a meat sandwich if he had wanted one, so why do you think you are entitled to ask fir it

I didn't think I was entitled to it, I thought I was entitled to ask though. I'm sorry if you find engaging in conversation with strangers to be equivalent to bad manners, are you one of those that cowers behind the front door when the bell goes?

The co-op wife vibe is strong in this one...

Tbf it might MIGHT not have been so bad if op hadn't asked the dude if he was vegetarian.

If someone asked me I wouldn't mind the question I guess, I'd still say no. If someone rolled out the "I'm a vegetarian don't you know" I'd say no and probably enjoy it more (saying no and the sandwich, said as an ex vegan)

If op had asked my mum that, who has awful anxiety and takes 2 days to build up the confidence to go to the local shop, she'd have said fine, probably apologised for existing, then wouldn't buy a sandwich ever again. Tbh it's for those people that I think its shitty to ask, just deal with the fact that you missed out instead of making your dietary preferences someone else's issue to resolve for you.

I was raised with traditional morals and the phrase, you don't ask, you don't get was often thrown around....

Does someone not ask, if they can sit down in a seat if they are disabled/elderly? Afterall someone sat there, so they obviously wanted it.

All are reasonable if you ASK politely, its a bloody sandwich... She asked if he minded? That's politeness and not ill mannered.

That's one of the things that bothers me.

@Medsy if you'd asked me if I were vegetarian and if not could you have the sandwich, I would have answered no I'm not vegetarian, and I'd have felt obliged to give you the sandwich.

But I'm autistic with food aversions, and one of the things I can't eat is processed meat. Or a sloppy sandwich where there's tons of sauce on the bread like a tikka or a coronation sandwich.

I usually have a cheese sandwich if I'm buying a sandwich.

But I would have said no I'm not veggie, and then you would have taken the sandwich.

Your "need" for a cheese sandwich does not trump mine just because you're vegetarian.

Well, no, you're not entitled to ask. Not at all. You can ask, but entitled? No.

And there are plenty of people with MH issues who struggle with engaging with strangers, and are frightened when their door bell goes. Is that a surprise to you?