I hate our holiday and want to go home

[Backwoods57]

I need to rant.

Day 10 of a 13 day visit to the UK. We moved to the USA in 2014 and have to come back every year because MIL can't afford to visit us, and is scared of flying. We are in Aldershot/Farnham area. There is nothing to do apart from walk up and down dead high streets. Traffic is terrible, I smell the pollution and cigarette smoke everywhere.

If we don't come we get a massive guilt trip about MIL not seeing grandkids etc.

This trip cost $4000, we have done very little apart from visit family and sit in my SiL's cramped dirty messy house.

2 weeks of my 3 week vacation allowance has been thrown away. I have start working remotely for A. Something to do, and B so I can claim some vacation days back.

I miss my home, our dogs, I miss countryside and wildlife, I want my space back.....and tap water that doesn't taste like bleach.

But some Evian

go to the new forest

go to ANYWHERE that is not a Woking or Fleet (wtf?! Sorry Woking and Fleet 😂)

Great walks to be had in Hampshire, pretty much anywhere apart from… Aldershot, Fleet and Woking 😂

you can easily do a as day in London if you want Urban

You could hire a car. You could get a train to London. I grew up in that area and there's plenty to do if you want to get out and about. You can take a boat down the Thames from Windsor. You can have lovely walks in the woods, country parks etc. Guildford and Farnham are nice for shopping and lunch. What would you like to be doing? Or do you just like to moan and feel sorry for yourself? It sounds like you resent visiting MIL and that's the problem really!

How about helping your SIL with the house instead of sitting around slagging her house off on MN?

The poor woman must be exhausted ferrying around moany house guests who wouldn’t pay to hire their own car, in between doing the school run and looking after her kids.

Two weeks is too long.

Plan a long way ahead to get the best fare deals.

Rent an Airbnb where you can all stay, so you are not in someone else's home.

Rent a car.

Sorted!

All these replies saying the UK has some lovely scenery … op lives in Maine, anything in the UK is going to seem shit compared to that

I can’t sympathise with anyone who hunts and shoots for fun and thinks it’s an essential skill for a child under 5 to have. 🙄

Fleet Pond is ok. And … Fleet Services???

Yep, exactly this. She doesn't want to enjoy the UK or find anything positive about it. Everything here is crap and everything in the US is perfect. Unfortunately I dealt with loads of American tourists when I lived in Italy and all they did was moan. The coffee was cold, the beds were too small, restaurants weren't open all day, you couldn't get ranch dressing on your salad or spaghetti and meatballs combined. I mean, why bother to leave the good ol' US of A. We'd be really delighted if you didn't.

The problem is that the trade off for getting all the weekends of in law duty over and done with in one go is not having any other holiday. I do get why the OP might not be thrilled about that, especially how little annual leave they get in the US. (Yeah, not everything is better there!)

I think that to avoid resentment you absolutely should treat it like a holiday, even if that means spending more money on top of what you've already spent on flights. As many other people have said, the OP and her family could be having a much better time if they'd hired a car or even just planned some fun days out rather than relying on her SIL to entertain them. There are tons of nice things to do in the area.

I also think that to avoid boredom it would make sense to plan a few future trips in a different place where her husband's family can come and join them easily enough. My husband and I have started doing one family holiday a year somewhere in Europe where my family can fly or get the train out and join us for part of the time. So we get a holiday but we also get to spend some time with the family.

To be fair, I grew up in that area and the tap water is rank 🤮 everyone I know there have water filter jugs and that only makes it just about bearable for tea and coffee! I live in Wales now and the water really is so much nicer here!

That's ridiculous! There's plenty of lovely scenery in the UK!

I can’t imagine willingly spending time in Aldershot.

Hiring a motorhome is a great idea.

And if you're organised enough to order the Britstops book online so that it's arrived at your SIL's when you get here, OP, you'll find there are loads of places that you can stop overnight for free.

Wow, that is quite the attitude. My DB and his wife & kids are in the US. I’m just contemplating how my parents, who have health issues and are not that well off to afford flights etc.., would feel if their DIL (my SIL) had such an attitude toward visiting them and felt that it was fine for them to see their grandchildren only every 3-5 years (because, facetime 🙄). They would be utterly heartbroken.

If the OP doesn’t want to go in future that’s ok, but no way should she be expecting her DH and DC not to go and miss out on seeing their family in the UK.

Next time go to Provence. Eurostar, then 2.5 hours on the TGV to Avignon. Or The Scilly Isles.
It doesn't help that the weather is so shite at the moment.

I think this is the price you pay for being an international couple. I say this as someone in an international couple. A significant portion of my leave, and money, is spent visiting my ILs. It's not where I'd choose to go repeatedly and it isn't my first choice of how to spend my time. But my DH lives away from his family and home country, so I suck it up.

You can shoot, fish and hike in THOUSANDS of places in the UK. Phone a clay pigeon shoot now and book it for one day next week, go to London for the day, go to Legoland one day. Hire a car.

Appreciate the cost, but you could be in the most diverse fun place in the world and if you stay in all day and have no cash it’ll be dire. It would be like visiting friends in Florida and staying home all day and moaning it’s boring because all the theme parks all cost money to get in, and hiring a car is expensive. If you were in Venice a coffee costs five euros. If you don’t plan days out it’ll be shite. You’ve only been gone 10 years you must be accustomed to what March in the UK is like? But I agree, don’t come next year and give MIL the heads up now that you can’t afford it.

Well you knew what you were getting OP, you used to live here and can't expect for the whole of the country to have elevated itself to your requirements since you were last here. Given that, anyone with any sense would have arranged a shorter visit/sent the family without them/decided to act like a grown up who'd made her own choice and plod on through. Missing your lovely town after a week? Don't be such a wet lettuce.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wz9jL3YNX-0

I don't really understand how you are finding everything so expensive. You will be getting a lot of ££ for your US dollars at the minute.

What exactly did you expect when you signed up for 2 weeks a someone's house and didn't hire a car. It may still be worth hiring one, often they are a lot cheaper if you don't get them from the airport.

There are some amazing places to visit if only you had thought to book a Premier Inn in London or York in advance and book train tickets when they first come out. Ditto I suspect the air fares have been bought at peak amounts at last minute with gritted teeth.

Take the DCs to London for the day, it's not going to break the bank and will give them some amazing memories and might cheer you up

Hold the front page: Woman Books 13 day 'House Arrest in Aldershot Experience' and Is Bored shocker.

I feel your pain. I drag my kids back home to my mother’s for two weeks every year or I never hear the end of it and there is very little for us to do. I saved up and hired a car the other year and the expense really was worth it. Thankfully we were told not to come this year as it’s not safe so we’re having an actual holiday instead but even though it wasn’t my decision I still feel so guilty 🙈

Op, it almost seems as if you set yourself up to have a miserable holiday just so you could moan about it.

you need to give yourself a shake and put some effort into the last few days v

First, there's plenty to do in this area (I know, because I live in it). Frensham, for example, is full of fresh air, wildlife and walks. Caesar's Camp, for another. Farnham Park. There are museums in both towns.

Whinging on the other hand because you can't be arsed, is a 'you problem'. Nothing to do with the locale. If you hate it here - stay away. Us locals can do without you and your loathing of us, Because, frankly, we're not too fond of you giving up your precious holiday time, either.

Pmsl! You could make a great comedy drama about a trip like this.