Kids in changing room at gym

[Snowypony]

Yesterday I was running late for my aqua gym class

i already had my swimming costume on under my clothes

i I ran in the changing rooms and there was a boy in there who was taller than me

i didn’t have time to question the Mum - he had clearly started puberty. He watched me get changed which left me very uncomfortable

i I got in the pool and my friend saw I was a bit upset and asked why. I explained and said the boy was about 12. There are no changing rooms at my gym - it’s just benches so you have to get naked when changing

my friend went over and spoke to the Mun who got really angry and said he’s entitled to be in there he’s only 11

when I got out they’re left but I still went and complained to the gym staff.

I don’t have a ds only dd so I’ve never had this issue. But is it reasonable to expect an 11 year old to use their own sex changing room?

Apologies, I must have missed that. In that case OP is right to complain and expect the parent to be asked to remove their child

But you weren’t naked were you? You already had on your costume you said. So an 11 year old boy saw you in a swimming costume, like they would in the pool or on any beach.

It's a female changing area where people may well be naked at some point, even if OP arrived 'pool ready'. An 11 year old boy has absolutely no right to be there.

It's been clearly stated, more than once.

Firstly, it's not just because they are curious - an 11 year old is quite capable of sexual harassment and bullying.

Secondly, do you think it's ok to be curious at the expense of their female classmates? (Or other girls and women, come to that.)

Fair enough, I missed that the boy shouldn't have been in there.

The cut off age at my gym is 8.

@DuesToTheDirt where is the evidence this CHILD has done any of that? The child didn't do anything f

Why can some posters not respect boundaries?
No males over a certain age means absolutely no males over a certain age.
That might make life harder for some folk, but that doesn't mean they can ignore rules.
Their male child is not more important than females in a female only communal changing area.
Your little darling may well be a lovely boy to you, that doesn't mean you can impose his presence on others.

And how do you assess which 11 year old boys are going to harass girls or stare at girls/ women getting dressed? Should there be a questionnaire to fill in before?

Or maybe have a blanket rule to promote the safety of girls?

The boys who will laugh at their contemporaries or act like arsed will have mums who will 100% argue that their precious cherubs would never do that.

@concernedchild would you really be comfortable with my 10yo DS staring at you, knowing that he is quite possibly having “sexual feelings”?

And how about the girls in the changing room?

That poster has made it quite clear that women and girls’ feelings don’t matter, as long as males are comfortable. What a depressing state of affairs.

I hope they’re a troll @lovehatelovehate but unfortunately I expect not.

Why are you sexualising children?

The cut off at my gym is 8 too. There's no way I'd be happy with a random boy of 11 being in the changing rooms with my 8&10 daughters. (Who are often themselves in there without a parent).

And speaking as someone who used to be an 11 year old boy, I would say by that age staring at a naked woman in a changing room is more than just curiosity, even if the feelings driving it aren't fully understood.

That would majorly piss me off.

I’m not sexualising children @concernedchild . I’m talking to my NT 10yo son who has had lessons on puberty at school.

We're not in those countries.
I can bet those countries are better at teaching their children about body autonomy and respect for females though.
Also, there might be a choice in family changing and female/male changing, I bet that's true. They most likely have a choice because their welfare state and public provision is very, very well funded.

Changing rooms should be set up so different sexed family members can change together.

"He watched me get changed which left me very uncomfortable" (from the OP).

They should, yes, but in this case they're not - people don't get to make their own rules, follow them or go elsewhere.

They don't need to do anything. There presence as a male in a FEMALE space is enough to make women and girls uncomfortable. That's the line. It is drawn. Stop trying to ignore women and girls boundaries is not a good look. As a mother of a boy I have always taught him not to cross those boundaries as there is NEVER a reason he needs to outside of mortal danger.

Why are some posters so entitled?! But but BUTTTT my child is special, my child is young for his age, my child is just curious…don’t care, rules are rules, women’s spaces are for women and girls, so take your male eyes and genitalia elsewhere as per the gym/leisure centre/spas instructions!!

Yes but he’s not the only CHILD in there. That’s why there needs to be rules. To protect other CHILDREN.

I realise that you don’t care about female children, only male, but if I can use enough capital letters it might translate.

It won’t change as the inconvenience to these mums is too short for them to bother with a campaign. Easier to just nick spaces that belong to someone else.

See also: wheelchair spaces on buses.

Too many people these days are too selfish to be considerate to others if it inconveniences them one iota. The reasons they put forward are just noise - that’s the fundamental truth of it.