Kids in changing room at gym

[Snowypony]

Yesterday I was running late for my aqua gym class

i already had my swimming costume on under my clothes

i I ran in the changing rooms and there was a boy in there who was taller than me

i didn’t have time to question the Mum - he had clearly started puberty. He watched me get changed which left me very uncomfortable

i I got in the pool and my friend saw I was a bit upset and asked why. I explained and said the boy was about 12. There are no changing rooms at my gym - it’s just benches so you have to get naked when changing

my friend went over and spoke to the Mun who got really angry and said he’s entitled to be in there he’s only 11

when I got out they’re left but I still went and complained to the gym staff.

I don’t have a ds only dd so I’ve never had this issue. But is it reasonable to expect an 11 year old to use their own sex changing room?

So if an 11 year old is vulnerable in the male changing room what about a 12 or 13? Where do you draw the line? Women and girls deserve privacy and safety too.

The solution is family changing areas/cubicles. If you are taking an 8 year old girl and a 10 year old boy swimming you need a family area/cubicles. Separate family changing areas with bigger cubicles make it easier for parents to keep an eye on multiple DC and keep younger DC out of the way of the ‘serious’ swimmers.

You were right to complain.

I think the policy in my gym is above 8 years old.

@KeinLiebeslied54321

I don’t know why you’ve decided to needle me, except that I expressed concern regarding my son and how to safeguard him. I don’t think it’s necessarily safe to send any boy under the age of 16 into a male changing room alone.

Certainly for mine he is about 3 years younger than 8 developmentally… you wouldn’t send a 5 year old in alone now would you?

From my point of view I wouldn’t have a boy older than 8 in a female changing room.

But that does little to avoid the issue of a lack of safe space for boys.

Safe spaces for girls should not come at the expense of safe places for boys….

The men’s changing you might say?… you would like to think so… but to use that they have to go in without their mothers, or without their mothers nearby to ensure no one is being inappropriate around them. Girls never have to face that. And they are protected vigorously against predatory males… so what about boys?

For us when the time comes we will try to go places where changing is required more with his dad, or ring ahead to check appropriate facilities are available, come dressed and throw a towelled hoodie on after (if swimming)….

But we shouldn’t have to do this. Children of all sexes should be able to have a space where the primary carer is able to be near them for protection and supervision.

Which is why a family space with cubicles is best…. But I really wish we could chuck the men out altogether because I don’t want them near me or my kids of either sex.

(sorry to all well meaning, normal males - I mean the perverts… but impossible to discern them so to be safe I’d like all people born biologically male over the age of 18 away)

I would draw the line at 16 or 18… the point where a male is legally of consent and physically big enough to defend himself against another man.

What happens between age 8-18 is family changing.

Of course you/ op are sexualising him. Why on earth else don’t you want him in there? He’s a CHILD
clearly you’re uncomfortable as he has child male genitals.

just SO weird

boundaries ?! 😆 it’s a CHILD

FFS - of course it’s better he’s there and not alone vulnerable naked in the men’s changing room with strangers ?!

what kind of weird logic would prefer a child naked alone with strangers, rather than with his mum quickly getting changed behind a towel. I am sure he REALLY doesn’t want to see random naked women anyway, but that’s definitely a lesser evil than being alone and naked with strangers

also just CHILL he’s going to swim , why be so uptight and overthink something so straightforward….

I'm not 'needling you', just clarifying why women's spaces need to be protected.

An 11 year old has no place in a ladies open space change area.

I’m shocked by @Kitesinthesky saying “Girls never have to face that. And they are protected vigorously against predatory males…”

Are you actually being serious? This is beyond belief!

Absolutely no way, 16 or 18 is far too old for the opposite sex to be in a communal changing area. Absolutely not acceptable.
(Yes, two uses of absolutely are necessary).

Exactly this. That’s why I think it’s really bad taste for women to pretend they’re Victorian ladies scared to show their cankle.

child safety first- if there is not family changing, then the CHILD needs to be nude with a safe adult.

if that offends sensibilities then the women need to look inside themselves to wonder why they are sexualising a child and expecting them to be left naked alone.

just find it beyond weird - 11 is still very young and often still have soft toys etc
and likely would freeze if someone was inappropriate to them alone without a sage adult.

So should schools just have a single room, since 17yo boys are fine changing with 11yo girls?

At the gym I am a member of, Children have to go into the appropriate sex changing room at 8. There is also a family changing room.

Are you scared of children? Really, no place? Why on earth not. Utterly bizarre.

He's 11 ffs.

Boymom logic 'women's boundaries should be violated for my son's comfort'.

As an 8 year old CHILD I was assaulted by a boy CHILD of 11. It isn’t just adult women who use changing rooms you know. There are other CHILDREN!

It's utterly bizarre to think it's ok, actually.

Please don't assume all parents of boys think this way - we don't!
Female spaces need to be male free, unless the exception of younger boys (7/8 max).

Have you met many 11 year olds recently?

the boy wasn't 8 tho he was 11 as OP stated.

I can't agree. When I was 7, I was sexually assaulted by a 13 yr old boy.

Adolescent males should not be in the women's changing area.

I didn't say he was 7/8 because I know he was 11, that's why he shouldn't have been in there.

This.

My gym has an age 8 rule for changing in the opposite sex room.