Kids in changing room at gym

[Snowypony]

Yesterday I was running late for my aqua gym class

i already had my swimming costume on under my clothes

i I ran in the changing rooms and there was a boy in there who was taller than me

i didn’t have time to question the Mum - he had clearly started puberty. He watched me get changed which left me very uncomfortable

i I got in the pool and my friend saw I was a bit upset and asked why. I explained and said the boy was about 12. There are no changing rooms at my gym - it’s just benches so you have to get naked when changing

my friend went over and spoke to the Mun who got really angry and said he’s entitled to be in there he’s only 11

when I got out they’re left but I still went and complained to the gym staff.

I don’t have a ds only dd so I’ve never had this issue. But is it reasonable to expect an 11 year old to use their own sex changing room?

@StephanieSuperpowers

I can assure you there is nothing convenient or in the moment about managing a child with a disability.

If you want to term it as only one of its functions you could just as well call it a tv.

These hyperbolic arguments are really silly and do nothing for the cause of keeping women’s spaces for women- they just make it seem like playground tit for tat bickering.

Some changing rooms ban phones, so don’t get your phone out there (personally I’m happy with no phone rules)-

Others don’t ban them so people will use them. In that case if you don’t like it complain to the management-

And you know well I was referring to giving a child a phone to entertain them despite the fact that it's an inappropriate setting for anyone to take a camera, or device with a camera function, out.

Once adolescent boys gatecrash the party, they are.

Take your 8+ boys elsewhere. Anywhere. Not my problem to sort for you!

Others don’t ban them so people will use them. In that case if you don’t like it complain to the management

The amount of time women have to spend complaining to management in order to get changed in a single sex space with no cameras is amazing. We all know that these are supposed to be single sex spaces. They're not mixed sex unless someone complains. Anyone who thinks for a moment knows that they aren't appropriate places to have your camera phone out. We shouldn't have to complain, complain, complain to compel people to do things that we all know we should do.

@StephanieSuperpowers

(Where unisex/disabled changing is not provided)

The default that I have experienced is that we ask if ladies present mind or manager opts to close changing room for us for 10-15mins… it ends up being the ladies because I am an adult female and child with other women is less of a problem than adult female and child in men’s.

Also, devices can be classed as a disability aid and part of management plan.

No, it would be nice if all rules in all places suited our opinion, but sadly it isn’t the case.

Phones are absolutely ubiquitous now- if they are not absolutely banned in any venue, changing rooms included, then loads of people will use them, and trying to get the venue to change the rules is the only option you have.

I shouldn’t have to complain complain complain to get provision of accessible facilities either, but these places (spas/gyms/pools/shops etc) are all run for profit not for our benefit so they won’t go out of their way to provide anything that costs them time/money unless they can’t avoid it- complaining makes it harder to avoid.

So essentially what we’re now saying is that all boys of all ages should be allowed in female spaces with their camera phones out and nobody can say anything because they might be disabled?

Fuck any girls or women with disabilities who need to have a single sex space free of cameras, naturally.

God, this thread is depressing.

Also, unless the rules specifically prohibit something and someone is making sure they are enforced, you don't need to apply any consideration for other people whatsoever.

Yep!

Maybe we need venues to have specific changing rooms for camera users, as after all if its okay for to use a camera, its fine for other people to use them while you and children change.

That is the reality sadly. The world is full of people will do what they want/is convenient for them unless they are forced not to.

I’ve never been so pleased to be a member of a gym/pool facility that has banned anyone under 16, frankly.

or just places should ban phones in changing rooms- I imagine the reluctance to is due to a worry about drop in trade because people are so attached to their phones.

How is this so hard. There 100% should be appropriate family and disabled changing so that kids don't need to go into opposite sex changing.

If there isn't a family or disabled changing room it doesn't mean that the needs of that child then trumps the girls and women in the ladies.

The amount of women on this thread who has put the needs of their boy above other girls is depressing- I don't think they're deliberately trying to make others feel uncomfortable but they can't see past their own family.

@fitzwilliamdarcy

No.

Where there is lack of provision (rare), we would have the right to ask firstly whether ladies are ok with his presence, if not then the manager would have a duty to find a suitable space, which could mean clearing a changing room, likely the ladies, for us for a short time.

Depends if the spa is attached to a hotel...McDonald's and crown plaza for example have spas and allow children in the pools but you can also go for a spa day using hot tubs, steam rooms etc.

@jannier hotel ‘spas’ are about 30% cheaper than going to a private adult only spa.

Some of the better ones will have spa only changing rooms, so while you use the pool etc where children may be, you don’t use the pool changing rooms.

No, you shouldn't have the 'right to ask' - you already know it's a female only area and asking puts pressure on those already in there.
I agree with pp, this thread is utterly depressing.

So, she can’t ask anyone to use a gender specific space?

Yes the manager can clear out the male spaces why is the default the female space?
If it is a male person that cannot use the male space unaided then the the manager and other males need to accommodate. Same if it was a female disabled person with a male carer.

Maybe after the men have complained the venue will provide the provisions needed.

-//-,;;;/

Erm OK....

No I would never allow him to have a device in a changing room, nor would he ask. If I saw him looking at others’ changing I would be sure to tell him not to; he doesn’t though as he’s concerned with getting himself changed. He moves very slowly thanks to DCD so he’s always the last to be ready.

Satisfied? Does my 8 year old CHILD with SEN meet your requirements?!

Can’t you see though that the risk to a male child, alone in a changing room of adult men, is very real? More real and more serious than the risk of a few others being uncomfortable? I would always take my son into a cubicle, and when he’s at swimming lessons with the pool used exclusively by children, he changes alone in the mens even with his motor difficulties. I won’t risk his safety in an inappropriate location though. I live in a large city and our local McDonald’s has had children being molested in the toilets in broad daylight.

It is very real and a concern. So the male space should be made accessible for your son. Z