Kids in changing room at gym

[Snowypony]

Yesterday I was running late for my aqua gym class

i already had my swimming costume on under my clothes

i I ran in the changing rooms and there was a boy in there who was taller than me

i didn’t have time to question the Mum - he had clearly started puberty. He watched me get changed which left me very uncomfortable

i I got in the pool and my friend saw I was a bit upset and asked why. I explained and said the boy was about 12. There are no changing rooms at my gym - it’s just benches so you have to get naked when changing

my friend went over and spoke to the Mun who got really angry and said he’s entitled to be in there he’s only 11

when I got out they’re left but I still went and complained to the gym staff.

I don’t have a ds only dd so I’ve never had this issue. But is it reasonable to expect an 11 year old to use their own sex changing room?

Because you insist males some males can ignore female boundaries and access female spaces because of special reasons.
I only need to repeat myself because you repeatedly say males are more special than females.

I will do you a deal.
You say women and girls deserve and need male free spaces and I will not comment again.
Deal?

You simply have cubicles with doors on them inside the family changing room. It's quite easy and commonplace, so it shouldn't be difficult for these gyms/pools to organise.

Yes looking forward to your confirmation on that point which is the crux of it. That women’s spaces are not the default for men or boys above 8 for any reason whatsoever. Then no further points need to be made.

The majority agree with me not you.

3 posters you included attempted to change the point of this thread and you succeeded for several pages now you have been called out and rightly so.

Start a different thread about support for disabled facilities many people will positively contribute me included.

3 posters you included attempted to change the point of this thread and you succeeded for several pages now you have been called out and rightly so.

😀 ah yes, how right you are, ‘calling out’ some women having a tangential conversation.

To borrow a line from the wonderful Victoria Wood “I didn’t know you were some sort of conversation warden”.

@TheaBrandt @MaterialGirlAllDay

You say women and girls deserve and need male free spaces and I will not comment again.
Deal?

In that case you should have stopped posting several pages ago. You are doing your usual thing of ignoring what is written in favour of…repeating yourself.

In that case you should have stopped posting several pages ago. You are doing your usual thing of ignoring what is written in favour of…repeating yourself

Sorry did I miss your post where you said women and girls deserve a female only space no matter what reason males may want/need it?

I am a newish member to MN I do not have a usual thing. If I was ignoring what was written then I would not have replied would I?

If you stop pushing for males to access female spaces I will stop replying. Simple.

@Samlewis96 - that kinda makes the point, doesn't it. You don't think 12/13 yr old siblings want to get changed in front of each other, so can guarantee that a 12 yr old girl absolutely doesn't want to get changed in front of a strangers 9+ yr old boy.......

I also find it really interesting, that none of the responders have considered taking their child, into the appropriate change room (male) and standing there to supervise the,, because they are concerned about their sons safety. It always comes down to female spaces are the one which are used, but heaven forbid we did that in a male changing room........

Sorry did I miss your post where you said women and girls deserve a female only space no matter what reason males may want/need it?

You either missed them or ignored them- I think it’s likely you ignored them because you were enjoying having another person to lambast.

That has been tried by one of the responders and discussed here. It's not really a solution, as it means dads entering women's changing rooms and mums entering men's. Most people want single sex kept single sex.

As far as I remember, you described in detail the lengths you go to not to take your DS into women's changing rooms or loos.

The problem is that if the men are forced to allow women into their spaces, it would be very difficult for a venue to then refuse a man entering the women’s spaces with his daughter.

(I’m basing my understanding of this on bars/nightclubs which had to stop being women only after 2010- women could go in all bars therefore men had to be allowed too- same with gay only places- they had to allow us in all mainstream bars so we had to allow straight people into all gay only bars)

Edited to add- I know changing rooms aren’t pubs, but they are public spaces/services so I think the 2010 equality legislation would still apply.

She really has not. I don't think anyone here has. It's in your head and it's getting a bit tiring.

I did. I asked for a couple of posts to be deleted because I got some backlash and remembered that the poo troll hovers!

It's every parents responsibility to safeguard thier children. This response is utterly bizarre.

What's bizarre about it?

Don't you expect a venue meet the needs of it's Patrons?
To do all they can to provide a safe environment?
Don't you expect them to cater for disabled people?
Families?

@MyMotherThouArt - this is a really good point- thank you and I hadn't considered it! It juts always seems the encroachment is more not discussed into female spaces- never male spaces. Men being welcomed into public women's toilets as some kind of conquering hero because they are out with their female children and they need to use the bathroom, male children in female change rooms because their safety and comfort trumps all female children and adults comfort- the discourse surely should be around providing a safe family space in public venues, to be able to make sure everyone gets access to clean and safe facilities- more family change areas, more family toilets, not just baby change areas. I stead of arguing who has more 'right' to a sex specific space- creat the facilities that changing families need!!!

@SD1978

You could be at risk of flashing, sexual assault, inappropriate comments… somebody said earlier there were two men engaging in a bit of buggery… I asked my husband about this, his response was to say he had never seen any man on man action, but quite regularly sees men injecting steroids in 2 different gyms (private) and one pool that he goes to (council)…

Excellent environment to bring women and children into 👌

I don’t think anyone is going to reach conclusive agreement on this.

On the one hand you have people who say no males over the age of 8 onto female spaces ever.

On the other you have those who are worried about vulnerable young boys being sent to take their clothes off in an adult male environment without a parent or guardian. And others even more concerned as their children are disabled and cannot cope without them at all.

The second group of people feel there may have to be an exception to allow a young boy into a female space for his own personal safety on occasion when caught out, with every effort made to aim for places with family changing or similar.

One thing we can agree on is the need for unisex family changing spaces and more disabled facilities so that instances where single sex space is intruded upon become a thing of the past.

I think it's very wrong. My 11yo DD has to get changed in a room with boys for pe. At a table mixed with boys. The school won't even split the class for changing. I've complained a couple of times since she was 9. They don't care.

The boy should be in the men's changing rooms. As s girl I went in the ladies and met my dad and brother after. It's the right thing to do.

Your comment seemed bizarre to me as I read it like it shouldn't be a woman's responsibility to keep her own child safe.

Of course it's great if a venue caters for disabled people and has family changing rooms so I understand a bit more what you meant now in that context.

Ah I've never seen anything like that. A cubicle inside a family changing space. When I used to use them it was just like a small room that DDs and I could fit in but not seperate from each other

I think the issue is inadequate facilities for tween boys and disabled.

However rather than making the female change unisex surely a better solution is either complain and or campaign for better facilities, find a provider that better fits your needs

Space for disabled space is always an issue.
The issue with boys is that mothers are much more protective than they used to be. This did not used to be seen as an issue and no boy 8 and over would have been seen dead in a women's changing room in the past.

Possibly true, though when I was a child in the 80s we (myself and siblings, so girls and boys) weren't allowed into public toilets or changing rooms unaccompanied by adults until we were around 12, and then we'd be with friends or siblings. E.g. we'd go swimming without adults, but with friends so none was going alone into a changing room full of adult strangers. And there were always cubicles with doors to lock and change behind!

Perhaps generally it's true, though, because there was a lot, lot less awareness of child abuse then and also a lot more sexism (boys expected to "toughen up" and be one of the blokes at a young age).

Being more protective and bringing up boys to be more sensitive is an excellent thing, but we need the gyms etc. to catch up and provide for parents with preteens accordingly!