Kids in changing room at gym

[Snowypony]

Yesterday I was running late for my aqua gym class

i already had my swimming costume on under my clothes

i I ran in the changing rooms and there was a boy in there who was taller than me

i didn’t have time to question the Mum - he had clearly started puberty. He watched me get changed which left me very uncomfortable

i I got in the pool and my friend saw I was a bit upset and asked why. I explained and said the boy was about 12. There are no changing rooms at my gym - it’s just benches so you have to get naked when changing

my friend went over and spoke to the Mun who got really angry and said he’s entitled to be in there he’s only 11

when I got out they’re left but I still went and complained to the gym staff.

I don’t have a ds only dd so I’ve never had this issue. But is it reasonable to expect an 11 year old to use their own sex changing room?

@fitzwilliamdarcy

Can I just say that disabled spaces on buses and disabled toilets are there for all disabled people, not just wheelchair users.

If you see an ambulant person in either, you cannot just presume that they shouldn’t be there.

If your child is disabled and requires assistance from you, take him in the disabled changing room/toilet, not in the female changing area. Yet another excuse from a boy mum who thinks her child trumps my child’s right to get changed in a same sex safe area.

Disability does not mean males have access to female only spaces.

I was talking about mums using the spaces for their buggies, not other disabled users (I am disabled, so this behaviour has an impact on me).

@Mrbumpssmile please explain how your son is a radical feminist? If at 11 years old he has no problem with entering womens and girls spaces then he isn't is he? Again, if you have raised an 11 year old boy with no boundaries regarding girls spaces, then thats on you. Now would be a fantastic time to teach him about boundaries and independence. Ask him what he thinks the right thing to do is. If he's a radical feminist, he should be able to come up with an alternative. If that alternative doesn't exist where you go then perhaps he could get the ball rolling. That would be an amazing thing for him to do on behalf of young boys and girls.
He sounds like a conscientious young man if he identifies as a radical feminist. I find it hard to believe he is comfortable at 11 going in to the female changing room.

I have an 11 year old boy with a disability. And while I try and encourage him to be as independent as possible, sometimes he needs the help. Luckily our swimming pool changing rooms are unisex but if they weren’t I might have had to take him in with me in a cubicle to help him get changed.

If you came up to me in the swimming pool and told me off because my son was with me, I’d tell you he has a disability and nothing more. I’m sure that wouldn’t change anything for you one bit, but you certainly wouldn’t have any moral high ground.

This is why going up to the mum was the wrong way to go about things. You just don’t know what reason he was in there. Most 11 year olds aren’t in there for the fun of it. My 9 year old son would cringe big time if I said come in to the women’s with me. Most 11 year old boys don’t willingly go in to the women’s changing room.

So yes I think you and the friend are in the wrong for going around confronting people.

Good job he doesn’t go in those changing rooms then isn’t it.

If you take him in the women's changing area you are in the wrong.
Lack of adequate disabled/accessible provision for older males does not mean they are allowed to just use female changing because they happen to be with a female. He has no right to be there and you really need to take that on board.
By your very actions you are actually being confrontational, you must see that.

You’re the one in the wrong. He shouldn’t be there. If he’s disabled take him in the disabled room. The woman was right to confront the mum, hopefully the leisure centre will stop her abusing the facilities in future.

Hang on a minute. So this 11 year old doesn't even go in the female changing room yet this poster is still demanding he has the right to do so? Why would that poster waste their time like that?

Your lack of comprehension skills and inability to understand a nuanced discussion are funny to me (so is your saying next all the time like you’re on a checkout- what’s that about?) but yes, I agree it probably isn’t funny to you.

No, it just isn't funny.
Nobody else seems to think you are funny or making much sense either, apart from a few folk who seem to think their male child trumps a female child in some way.

Who knows?
Maybe @MyMotherThouArt should let @Mrbumpssmile answer, instead of jumping in to 'defend' them.

As I said, luckily we go to a pool with a unisex changing room. That’s what swimming pools should have more of so that families like mine can access swimming pools. There clearly isn’t enough disabled changing facilities going around, so there should be plenty of unisex changing rooms instead.

No- this poster hasn’t ever said they have the right to be in a female changing room- she has said she doesn’t take him swimming now because there isn’t a viable alternative.

All she has done is point out that predatory men are as dangerous to boy children as boy children are to women and girls- so there should be changing rooms for everyone.

Other posters just haven’t read her posts properly.

I agree that there should be more disabled/accessible/family changing.
When there isn't that doesn't mean males get to go in female spaces though, it means alternative solutions have to be found.

Can you actually just stop speaking for others, please?

I tell you what I've noticed on this thread though from the boy mums. There's been a lot of 'strange', 'interesting', 'I don't understand' and 'sexualising' thrown about by them. It's either faux confusion or they aren't very bright. Or they don't have any intelligent debate so try shut you down. Then come the personal insults. Interesting 😂

Can you please say 'some' boy mums? Many of us wouldn't dream of being so selfish/entitled, and respect female only spaces.

I think you're imagining things. No one here has said male children are more important. It's just that, as some people were saying male children should be forced to go alone to undress in front of men they don't know, we were saying that isn't always safe or acceptable, so other provisions for families are necessary.

If people were saying female children should be forced to change in front of strangers alone, or that girls should go into the men's where they might stare at boys changing, I'd be saying that those ideas aren't acceptable and that other provisions for families are necessary.

The point is, separate cubicles in changing rooms for families with children are necessary.

Read the posts, lots of people have implied male children ARE more important by concluding that when there is no adequate family changing then the next best option is to take them into the female only area.
Telling people they are imagining things that are clearly written is quite an odd thing to do.

Well, she's correct about what I said!

That doesn't mean she should assume to answer for others. She doesn't know your every motivation (unless she is you under another name or very closely related to you).

Came on to say this. Mine certainly has this sign in the door. Having said that, there was a male bodied trans woman in the women’s changing room the other, which triggered me. Whole other kettle of fish.

I've never demanded such a right. Just some odd people on here playing straw-people arguments.