Did anything good happen to you in your forties?

[Sashamalia]

To anyone over 40, I am not calling you old.

I just turned 40. And i feel sad.

I've bought into the marketing that women are over the hill at 40, and basically nothing good happens to us after that age.

I need to snap myself out of it

Had two children in my 40’s
Bought our dream house
Began a career I was passionate about
It was a brilliant decade for me

I got a pilot's license at 43. Never thought I'd achieve anything like that when I was younger.

It's been my best decade by far.

I'm 49 now. When I turned 40 I was a SAHM with primary / preschool age DC. Since then I've got a job I love (not the same job I was doing pre-DC) and been promoted. I've raised three awesome teenagers. Still happily married to my lovely DH. It's been a good decade.

Come off it, women are told practically from birth that ageing is a bad thing. Think of any Hollywood movie you've seen where the hero is 20 years older than his supposed love interest. The billion dollar anti ageing beauty industry. The lack of senior women around board room tables because older women are often seen as unemployable.

Embracing ageing is a welcome development but a relatively recent thing.

OP I am 41 and I have made a list of things I want to achieve in my 40s to give me some sense of control! Mostly travel and finances related but also learning how to cook certain dishes and some exercise goals. Maybe that would help?

I turned 50 yesterday. In truth it has been a mixed bag. I looked after my health much better in this decade, including giving up alcohol and that has been a wonderful revelation. I know who I am now, and lots of alcohol fuelled nights out had masked the real me. I have stopped looking to others so much for approval as well, my 40s taught me to recognise and respect my good points and accept my flaws. I also re-took up a sport and have thrown myself into it, and that has brought me indescribable happiness and new friends. My career has also progressed well this decade, and my salary is very decent now. On the down side, I aimed to find a way out of my unhappy relationship by 50 and that hasn’t happened. And my teen has struggled with mental health issues a lot which has been very consuming and hard to deal with. I put on a lot of weight too, due to stress around my child being unwell and HRT. You have no reason to feel bad though, best approach is to start every decade with renewed optimism. And 40 is definitely not old!

Met the love of my life, married him, buying a house, promotion. It ain’t all bad!

Everything. Got divorced. Wrote a book. Career took off, cos children older. Became very high earner.

Actually, I think all good stuff was result of getting divorced!

They also say life begins at 40, don't they?

Which I get. I made a lot of mistakes in my 20s and 30s, but landed a great job just before my 40th birthday, and met my now DH soon after.

I think I understand myself much better, and make wiser decisions as a result.

Did a PhD, got a new job, lovely new house. DC continued lovely and it’s great seeing them become adults and start planning their futures. Got fitter- training for my first half marathon. Marriage continues to be wonderful.

I had a wobble in my early 40s, mainly about the fact I’d soft-pedalled my career in order to be around more for the kids. But I’m now back on track and have also made my peace with the decisions I made.

Now entering my late 40s. My plans for the last few years of the decade are to continue to develop my career, get a lot fitter and stronger (seeing old age approaching is very motivating- I’d like the best chance of a long and active life and have started to train and eat with that in mind- this is a real change for me), support my children through uni etc.

I don’t have any sense of being over the hill at 40. I have however got better at living my life as its protagonist and have no interest at all in focusing on myself as an object being perceived from the outside.

I'm not a Hollywood actress. Are you?

Started having health problems, hard work looking after kids then starting to look after parents...

This!! It is so liberating.

I ran a marathon?

I'll be honest though my 40s have been horrific since then. But specific to me, not everyone in their 40s.

Had my first relationship. Found and lost love. Agree re the decade of not giving a shit- very liberating

You took up football and learnt piano? What sort of awesome creature are you?! 😊

I moved into a new home, got a new job after being off work to do a severe mental health diagnosis, got engaged, and have been head hunted several times, dc1 graduated, dc2 started university. Way better than my 30’s!

Freedom!! I'm just about to turn 47, both kids at Uni. Remarried at 42 and we love life. Just returned from Sri Lanka just the two of us, now planning our next break. Kids both happy and settled at Uni life is so much more relaxing than my late 20s & 30s.

Oh and at 44 I relocated from a large grotty city to a beautiful thriving market town, had worked in the same nhs trust for 24 years so moved trusts when I relocated and am really enjoying the new role.

Got divorced (a good thing), met DH, got remarried, had DS. Forties were fantastic

Bloody loving my 40s, best decade yet.
Work: decent payrise and got a company car. Flexible WFH in low stress job.
Marriage: sex life is spicier and more fun.
Kids: older and more self sufficient and love hanging out with them.
Home: bought bigger home and have money to do it up.
Me: I have more money and time and enjoy pampering myself. I'm 2st down and I have time to go the gym, to prepare good food and money for treating myself. My maintenance upkeep is more expensive to cover the greys, botox etc but I enjoy the beauty stuff, hairdressers, nails, waxing and regular massages and facials.

I've always have IDGAF attitude to what others think so that hasn't changed. I stress less and just get on with stuff.

Some things were good I suppose but I struggled as much in my 40s as I did in my 30s.
I changed career but it turns out I don't really like my new career either.
I travelled a fair bit but I'm tired of that now.
I was hoping that a few questions would get answered in my 40s but they were not.
I never turned the corner that I had hoped I would.
Some things just never come unstuck, I suppose.

Yes! I became mortgage free, moved somewhere amazing after my DC left home, met fabulous new people and am now 52, happy and am hoping my 50s and 60s will be as great as my 40s.

So far, I've got a great new job and paid off my mortgage 🙂.

My 40s feel peaceful. I’ve come to terms with not being able to have children which I spent many years in my 30s fixating on, which was devastating at the time. I’m embracing life as it is now, it’s different to what I’d expected, and feels like a new start. I’ve been giving myself a lot of love. Enjoying simple joys, going for walks, eating well, having the freedom to see friends, exercise, travel etc. Worrying less about comparison and distancing myself from relationships that’s don’t serve me so well. I feel more connected to myself and I hope that continues as I get older.

Moved back to my home country, made new friends, bought and renovated a house, retrained and started a new career, got fit, did some time as a special constable, travelled, had a great social life, got back into motorbikes, learned to do target-shooting, had a couple of lovely relationships. Enjoy your 40's, it's really a fabulous time.

50's is when it starts to go downhill a bit....