Cheeky Fckers

[thisisasurvivor]

I had a work trip on mon and Tue

Tue was a 12 hour day and was up since 4 working

My friend text at 9.30pm to let me know she needed to drop her soon uo at 8am
The next fcking day to be looked after

I text back that I was not even home yet

She didn't respond

7.40am next day knock on door
She dropped her son off

I was so angry/tired/ bewildered to go bat shit

SHE DIDNT TEXT AFTER TO EVEN SAY SORRY OR TO THANK me

I'm so done with letting this shit happen

Sorry I just need to vent

Next time she asks I need a firm response

No doesn't seem to work as she has been known to come up anyway and say she has no one

I'm a single parent and I work from home

She has dropped her kids to me many times while I work from home

Fcking cheek

She has many sister in laws who can step in wt f is she still as this utter shit

Why did you pay for the summer club for her child last year?
Especially as you’re in debt, why have you not insisted that she pay it?

I’d get that repaid before stopping further childcare.

She has many sister in laws who can step in

20fucking24 and it’s not the brothers 🙄

I disagree- her response reads like ‘are you taking the piss Jane? I’m sat on a runway at 9.30pm at night about to catch a flight home and you want me to babysit at 8am tomorrow after working all day’? A decent person will read between the lines and say ‘oh god sorry, I forgot you were working away, forget I asked I’ll find someone else to help. Safe flight.’

Whilst she didn’t say no, she didn’t say ‘yes I’m alright to do it’, but some people don’t care and just suit themselves. That’s what this CF did.

I would text something along the lines:

"Hi, I was politely reminded by my manager that, according to the company policy, employees are not allowed to look after children during working hours. Keeping in mind my circumstances, I am not in position to risk my job to cover your childcare needs.

Also, speaking of childcare, it looks like you owe me XX days. I will send you a list of dates, please let me know when you will be able to provide a cover to return a favour.
And last but not least, you owe me xx for holiday club since last summer. Please transfer by close of next week."

I would text/email both cheeky fucker and her partner so they get the same message. He is also allowing her to trample over you so he doesn't have to pay for childcare for his own children. I would also notify other parents and the school so they're aware of the cf. It is a child safeguarding issue that the school should be made aware of, the cf is happy to leave her kids anywhere to save £££.

The word NO is enough.

Or two words - Fuck off.

Stop being a doormat for people to wipe their feet in you.

If she brings the kid round, don't answer the door or put the chain on and say 'I am working today, I can't look after YOUR a child. nor can I at any other time. Goodbye.'

Explicitly say no you will not be taking her child. If she drops him off anyway I would just take him to the nearest police station a leave them there to be reunited with his guardian.

Yes some good responses on here, sending her a request for money first. That will tell you all you need to know as I think she’ll come up with a reason why she won’t be paying you. If she pays you, good! And then send the “no more” text. And if she doesn’t pay you, send the “no more” text and just keep saying no. It’s hard when you’re a people pleaser, I used to be one myself. Best of luck x

She is not your friend. She is a user.

You are acting like a doormat and she is walking all over you.

Find the anger you have shown on this thread and text her now.

Good luck op!

The next time you allow her to contact her because you haven't had the sense to block her, get a mental image of a backbone in your mind.

You have a backbone, you are not a spineless jellyfish that people can use and take advantage of your submissive nature.

Stand up and be assertive.

Love this so much !!!!

Great idea

And thank you all

I swore I would not be a doormat any more after escaping an abusive ex

So let's get this c f out of my life for good

Finally

Really good advice there. Be very interesting to see what she has to say if you ask her to have your kids next week.

This is where you went wrong. Your response didn't say "NO". Or "No, I'm away". And if she still turned up, don't answer the door.

Stop being a doormat. Unfortunately there are thick-skinned / selfish people like your 'friend' in this world so you need to be explicit.

Have you posted about her before @thisisasurvivor?

I recall a post relatively recently about a CFer 'friend' who dropped off her sick child while the OP was working from home. Unbelievable how cheeky and rude some people are!
She doesn't sound like a very good friend, or even a friend at all!

Have you sent a text / email/ phoned her yet @thisisasurvivor ?

You need to do this before she asks again otherwise* *she will persuade/ bully / harass you into looking after her dc by saying
She has no one else to do it (tough luck )
You have always done it before ( your not a mug anymore)
She needs to do xyz and cant take dc withe her (she should of thought of that before)
I will pay you ( here is a itemised bill for all child care, clubs , pizza , snacks, drinks ,meals pay this NOW and I will consider looking after him in 6 weeks time )
He loves coming here ( tough )
He will be so disappointed ( tough)
He likes playing with your DC ( shout your dc and tell him he is going over to cfs house for the day )

Text her -
Dear cf I will no longer be available to look after your dc. Please make other arrangements immediately.

Don't give her reasons or she will try to work around them .
If you say you are busy working she can say just give him a pizza and TV
Your going out - take him with you
You have docs appointment- take him with you
You want time with your own child - it's just as easy to look after two .

The list goes on and on but you get the drift.
Tell her in advance its not happening anymore and mean it

I think this is perfect. Pp’s are correct that you didnt actually say no but cheeky piss-takers will use that as a get-out when reasonable, sensible people will grasp what you are actually saying. Time to spell it out.

Next time just say No. Stop faffing with “ still on tarmac”. That’s not a definite No

Have you sent the message yet? The longer you put it off the more potential you have to stay a doormat

You need to use your RAGE to good effect.
" hey CF. Just to be clear, I will never look after your dc again. Do not ask, do not bring them. If you leave them here, I will call Social Services. If this is the end of our friendship good. "

I struggle to understand how people allow this situation to continue for years, and then explode. Seems a pity to let it get to this stage

If you know where she works, I’d be dropping the kid off there. Can’t believe you answered the door! 😂

This is really good advice, it's up to both parents to sort out their kids childcare, not just the mums.
It could well be that the Dh either thinks you are getting paid or 'that's woman's stuff to sort out'

When you send the msg make sure both get exactly the one at the same.

OP good for you to decide you're going to stand up for yourself and get rid of this user.
Please update us - I love seeing the outcome of these threads where everyone is rooting for you and you do something that is going to make your life so much better.

Have you sent the text? Please do it today!!

Why are you incapable of saying no?

to be honest i wouldnt want to be friends with someone that treats me like that so id simple say that i didnt want to have a friendship anymore and that i would no longer be caring for her children.