Cheeky Fckers

[thisisasurvivor]

I had a work trip on mon and Tue

Tue was a 12 hour day and was up since 4 working

My friend text at 9.30pm to let me know she needed to drop her soon uo at 8am
The next fcking day to be looked after

I text back that I was not even home yet

She didn't respond

7.40am next day knock on door
She dropped her son off

I was so angry/tired/ bewildered to go bat shit

SHE DIDNT TEXT AFTER TO EVEN SAY SORRY OR TO THANK me

I'm so done with letting this shit happen

Sorry I just need to vent

Next time she asks I need a firm response

No doesn't seem to work as she has been known to come up anyway and say she has no one

I'm a single parent and I work from home

She has dropped her kids to me many times while I work from home

Fcking cheek

She has many sister in laws who can step in wt f is she still as this utter shit

I wouldn’t bother with an email.

Just text and say ‘I’m checking my accounts from last year and following up on money owed to me, you owe me £40 for the summer camp, can you revolut it to me today thanks’

no need for a big showdown.
Ask her to have your children 2 days next week. Then be quiet.

You just need to say no from now on now and stick to it. Just do it once and you’ll be off!

good luck

Very kind thank you

I do wonder !!

Hmmm

@thisisasurvivor - I wouldn't use the email as the primary form of communication here. I'd send a few bullet pointed text messages instead. Not all at once but text messages/WhatsApp messages can be very powerful in getting your point across without needing to be too wordy.
I would send her a message saying that you cannot have her kids next week and you'd appreciate her letting you know when she can have yours.
Then a few hours later I'd send a message about the outstanding amount for the summer club that they haven't repaid.
I'd also then a few hours later send a final text saying that you're no longer available to look after her child(ren) and she'll have to find alternative childcare.

Three bullet pointed texts, each with a different message and each stating clearly what you want to happen.

You can always follow up with an email but I'd use texts as the first form of communication.

Why didn't you say I am not in the city/ country and will arrive very late, won't be in condition to look after?

Hope you have you messaged her.

If not, please do.

Tell her you have no support, a single income. You had an exhausting work trip and you did not like her dropping her child without any consideration to you.
Remind her that last year, you offered her support on X occasions and also paid for her kids with your single income, and have had them when they were sick. But you have now realised that this friendship is one sided, your friend has no consideration to you, so now on you would no longer provide any child care.

You've definitely posted about this before . Big girl pants on and just send the message . You were told last time to ditch this friend. You're still quivering now over sending the message . You've been given loads of ideas on how to send a straight to the point message . You don't deserve to be treated like this , you're obviously a lovely person trying to do the best they can . Get this done and have a lovely Easter weekend .

No - you aren't babysitting ( that us in the childs home except some circumstances that make it essential for them to be in your house after 6pm)

You really cannot go charging for favours done months back . Unless you stated at the time that you were to be paid ( which as you are not a Registered Childminder are you ? does not apply )

If I was your CF Friend I'd laugh my socks off .

You need your money for the Club refunded .
I think everything else you'd have a hard time proving .
Cut your losses and cut her out .

OP she will move easily to the next mug, and rinse them until they've also had enough.

I wouldn't lose sleep over it.

She's a master user.

I have not sent it yet

Reading back over this thread guys

Thank you

True

I am ND

undiagnosed

I read once about a famous star who did not always coo it when others took advantage

That's me in some ways
It took a while to see this for what it is

Wait. Your friend dropped her child off at 7.40 am to be looked after by you for the WHOLE DAY (not just dropped off at childcare - bad enough!) on a day you are supposed to be working?

Who does that?????!!!!!?????

Dear x,

Due to changes at my work, as of now I am no longer able to help you out with any childcare

Take care, thisisasurvivor

I would personally avoid trying to get her to help you with any childcare, as even if she does do ANY, it will always be unbalanced and leave you resentful and at a disadvantage.

As you obviously struggle to say no to this person, I'd personally just blame it on work. If she pushes, just reply, 'no, sorry, I can't help'. Don't give too much information or leave room for 'helpful' suggestions that would enable you to help out

Go on, you can do this!

Yes

She has form for it

I'm wfh

She thinks it's ok to leave her son in with me

Used to be her three kids

Lesson learned

Thanks all
I know quite a few of you say
But fcking idiot

Fair enough

You've had two days worth of very good suggestions @thisisasurvivor - have you even put together a draft of what you're planning on sending?

The sooner you rip the bandaid off, the sooner this CFer will leave you alone and you get to be in control of your time yourself.

Just message her… I am no longer able to look after your child. I am unavailable for childcare. Do not contact me to discuss this. I will not be answering your messages. Then put your name. Ignore her replies. Do not open the door to her.

Be more direct op. don't email, they will claim not to have seen it.

send a text message or WhatsApp saying, 'hi, soon-to-be-ex-friend, I won't be doing any more childcare for you. Please don't ask again, it makes things awkward. I won't change my mind on this.'

that's it. no sorry, no 'I'm not available'.

Get an email send whilst this latest incident is fresh

@thisisasurvivor So you still haven't sent her a message saying no more?!?

CF friend is on holiday next week - OP is waiting to see if there's a
"Why don't I take your DC out to the cinema/local attraction/swimming , it's deffo my turn" text .

But more likely :

"I have sooo much to catch up with, why don't I drop Archibold with you and your DC and it'll give me a clear day . You can order something from JustEats for dinner, Archibold would love to spend a slob out day with yours and you always let him have a snacky dinner - he raves about it . I don't mind too much , he eats healthily at home "

Don’t answer the door I had a Sil who thought because I was on mat leave she could her devil children off & I ld walk them to school each morning & pick the little shits up after too; never actually asked; I soon put her in her place; we’ve not spoken in 30 years; to this day I can’t believe the audacity she had cheeky cow!!

You just need to be assertive, tell your friend she will have to make other arrangements going forward you won’t be minding kids while trying to work yourself. Don’t give explanations or excuses, it’s not your problem it’s hers and she is taking advantage of you and clearly stressing you out, say no and watch her take a step back. Your clearly being used and your friend is taking full advantage of you being a people pleaser. You are not a bad person for saying no however she is a shitty friend for taking advantage of the situation.

I think we know the op is unlikely to send an email/message now. Hopefully I'm wrong

My ‘friend’ used to do this but she wouldn’t say she was dropping kids off they would knock the door once she had driven off so I had no choice. Until one day I rang her mother and said she would need to collect them or I would send them home alone (to walk the two miles). She stopped doing it to me but then moved onto someone else and did the same to her

This 'friend' is using you as a unpaid childminder. Tell her to do one and as a ps, you want the money she owes you back by the end of the week.

Shouldn't have answered the door, and if she tried phoning just mute it and don't answer. No way I would have answered the door, especially since she just ignored your reply!