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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asked for help in ASDA and she had a breakdown.

294 replies

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 12:54

Not sure what I'm asking about being unreasonable for, but am I unreasonable to be shocked?

So it was my fault. I had gotten round and started scanning things on the self checkout after having done my whole shop and realised I had take my card out of my pocket and left it on the side at home. I'm a single mum with a condition which affects my memory, so I have to check 100 times for things before I leave the house but this morning DD was taking her time getting ready for school and I was being picked up by a local minibus service as soon as I had dropped her off and was in a rush.

But I had some ASDA vouchers on my phone from free school meals for the holidays and £7 in cash as I had had a 10 euro note lying around and had cashed it in at the beaureu de change booth. (Remembered that but couldn't remember my card!). My phone doesn't let me do that google pay thing, as it isn't a good enough phone.

I explained to the supervisor that I wanted to cancel my order and put some bits back and he took me to the customer services, but the lady was talking to some of her friends for ages. Eventually I explained to her the situation and told her that I wanted to just scan enough for £37 and put the rest back. She didn't help me figure it out, but just cancelled what I scanned so far.

So I went and grabbed one of those scan and go things as I have an account with them, so I could add up the most important parts of my shopping and put back anything over £37.

Anyway, after I had spent about half an hour doing this, I had 15 minutes left until the minibus was leaving and I went over to the bit to pay for scan and go. As I never use cash, I didn't know that you couldn't pay for cash at the scan and go bit, as it doesn't actually say that when you queue up, and I'd never tried to before, so it wasn't something that crossed my mind.

I scanned the vouchers I had on my phone and had £5.53 left to pay. It was only then that I noticed that there was nowhere on the machine to put cash into.

So I called for assistance to explain, thinking they could maybe transfer my payment over to customer services for me to pay the rest in cash, or help me re-scan everything in the self service bit.

When a different girl came over this time, I calmly explained the situation and she looked at the screen and got really stressy, saying she didn't know what to do, as I'd used gift vouchers for some of my shopping. So she asked for help on her headset and I think they told her to find a supervisor and she stomped off (I think they said this, because she walked over to the cash registers and the ladies on the minibus later mentioned in passing, that they had gotten the supervisors to man the cash registers as it was a bit busier than usual).

As she was stomping off, a lady with limited english was trying to get to the self service tills for trolleys and she was getting aggravated at them for walking through the scan and go to get to the self scan for trolleys, next to it. Kept shouting at them to leave the scan and go back around to get into the two person queue, but they didn't understand. She had a huge loud huff about it, threw her arms up and walked off.

But on her way to the cash registers, she let out a huge shout and said "I'm OUT", and kicked her headset angrily across the floor. I don't know if she threw it on the floor or if it fell off her head first, before she kicked it. I wasn't watching I only looked up and saw her because of her shouting and huffing.

Then she walked past me and in the opposite direction to the customer service desk, and never came back. A lady who had witnessed it all (customer) looked and me and said "I'm standing back", as this staff member had been so angry walking past her.

There was no one left in the scan and go area, and I couldn't press the button again for assistance, as she hadn't scanned her pass to reset it. I couldn't just cancel the transaction and go to self scan as I had already scanned my vouchers on my phone and would have lost them.

After about 5 minutes, another worker came into the scan and go and started helping other people. I asked her if the girl was coming back and she said 'no.' I said 'did she just quit?' and she said 'no, she just...' and kinda sighed with exasperation. I asked her for help and she looked at the screen and said 'yeah i know', and scanned her pass to reset the assistance screen and walked off. I had to wait for her to finish with new customers and then asked her for help again and she got really annoyed at me and said 'it's because you can't use cash here'. I calmly said, 'yes I know, but it was a mistake, I didn't realise.' She walked off again. I was about to just leave my £5.53 cash at the customer services desk and walk out, as I'd been standing there for ten minutes now waiting for help, and the minibus was due to leave, when the man next to me (who was also annoyed as he had just been made to re-scan his entire shop for picking up 2 different flavours of hams on an offer, instead of 2 the same) paid for me on his card and I gave him my cash. So the staff were refusing to help me otherwise.

I know I created the situation with my forgetfulness and not realising I couldn't pay cash until too late, but surely there's a better way to handle someone having made a mistake and asking for help to pay. They were all huffing and puffing about having to help customers, and normally they're just standing around chatting, so it seemed like they just didn't like having to engage with people for that busy day.

I was wondering if I should complain, but maybe the girl who shouted and kicked her headset across the shop after my request blew her mind, had been having a bad moment in her life.

OP posts:
slashlover · 28/03/2024 18:06

Friedchickenrocks · 28/03/2024 17:59

Sorry but you chose it. Nobody forces you to work in retail. Study and get a better job then. I wouldn't be seen dead working in a shop.

I am, I'll finish my OU degree next month. Then I wont have to deal with vile people like you who clearly think you're better than shop workers.

I wouldn't be seen dead being as condescending as you.

LakieLady · 28/03/2024 18:09

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 15:04

I used to but they'd always send me mouldy fruit/veg and the pickers would grab everything that was about to go off the next day. Nothing lasts the full week- bread would go mouldy in two or three days, and I don't always need a £40 shop, which is the minimum, and lots of the things would be missing from the shop, even though they always have them in store. Same store. I can't afford Sainsbury's or Tesco to get their deliveries.

I don't shop online for exactly those reasons, OP. You get a week's worth of food that all has to be eaten by the day after tomorrow! Not to mention rubbish substitutions that you have to decline, so you end up having to go to the sodding supermarket anyway, after forking out for a delivery charge.

I suspect a lot of people who live alone find that online shopping doesn't really work for them.

I rarely use self-service tills, they seem to hate me, and I had no idea that you can't pay in cash at some of them. I'm sorry that you had such a shitty experience, and I'm also sorry for the staff member who was clearly at the end of her tether. It's really the store's management who are at fault by not having a supervisor or someone present who could have resolved things more calmly, and if you are inclined to complain, I'd suggest making that the focus of your complaint.

And please don't take any notice of some of the unpleasant replies you've had. Some people just like kicking people who are down and/or struggling.

Friedchickenrocks · 28/03/2024 18:11

slashlover · 28/03/2024 18:06

I am, I'll finish my OU degree next month. Then I wont have to deal with vile people like you who clearly think you're better than shop workers.

I wouldn't be seen dead being as condescending as you.

Good luck with your degree.

SableGrape · 28/03/2024 18:12

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:18

I've noticed this everywhere since covid started. Hospitality too. Don't know if I notice it more because I had just come back from America where the customer is always right, or if it really has declined. I don't work in customer service or hospitality anymore, but training was mostly focused around making the customer feel looked after, wherever I worked. It was still minimum wage back and high rent costs back then, so can't blame the economy. It's more enjoyable when you do the job with the attitude of wanting to help as well, I always found.

The full saying is "the customer is always right in matters of taste", and doesn't mean they can behave badly and get away with it.

Not saying you behaved badly but customer service is an utterly shit job a lot of the time.

Anguish · 28/03/2024 18:13

Friedchickenrocks · 28/03/2024 17:59

Sorry but you chose it. Nobody forces you to work in retail. Study and get a better job then. I wouldn't be seen dead working in a shop.

this poster is a (mastur)baiter do not respond

Friedchickenrocks · 28/03/2024 18:14

Anguish · 28/03/2024 18:13

this poster is a (mastur)baiter do not respond

I am not and am sorry. Just angry with Asda this week.

stayathomer · 28/03/2024 18:16

Sounded like she’d just had it, nothing on you, I don’t think it was a bad mistake to think you could pay in cash, I’d probably have been the same. I wonder what happened to her/hope she’s ok

babyproblems · 28/03/2024 18:18

Make a complaint. Shite customer service. They clearly didn’t have enough staff and she was at breaking point. Not really her fault imo but the supermarket management I expect is terrible.

Finallygotmy3 · 28/03/2024 18:20

I work for another well known supermarket. I remember 2 years back having just lost my 3rd pregnancy and my manager approaching me on the shop floor to say "if you hadn't have tested, you'd not have known you were pregnant and wouldn't have caused yourself upset". This was after having 1 week off for the bleeding.

Then only 2 minutes later somebody kicking off as we'd stopped selling their favourite product. Name calling, thinking I'm stupid, rambling about utter first world problems. Then you have to smile and grin and bare it. Retail is awful, I'm guessing all of her management team are aware of her actions and it doesn't dismiss them but I always try to remember the day I had. And how close I was to snapping at the general public, and we deal with a multitude of shit everyday so whatever had built up must have been bad. She sounds like she needs a bunch of flowers and a brew, not a complaint.

Viviennemary · 28/03/2024 18:31

You forgot your card. And their system couldn't combine your different payments. YABU. Next time take your card.

Anguish · 28/03/2024 18:34

Finallygotmy3 · 28/03/2024 18:20

I work for another well known supermarket. I remember 2 years back having just lost my 3rd pregnancy and my manager approaching me on the shop floor to say "if you hadn't have tested, you'd not have known you were pregnant and wouldn't have caused yourself upset". This was after having 1 week off for the bleeding.

Then only 2 minutes later somebody kicking off as we'd stopped selling their favourite product. Name calling, thinking I'm stupid, rambling about utter first world problems. Then you have to smile and grin and bare it. Retail is awful, I'm guessing all of her management team are aware of her actions and it doesn't dismiss them but I always try to remember the day I had. And how close I was to snapping at the general public, and we deal with a multitude of shit everyday so whatever had built up must have been bad. She sounds like she needs a bunch of flowers and a brew, not a complaint.

That is such a deeply insensitive thing to say to a woman who has just lost a pregnancy, I'm so sorry. I lost one myself and it was one of the most devastating heartaches.

Triangledreams · 28/03/2024 18:35

Welcome to retail since covid. Not saying you did anything wrong but that cashier was clearly stressed out. A complaint and an hours e-training isnt going to improve service when you are at that boiling point which she clearly was. This will be the busiest weekend of the year bar christmas for most retailers and staff will be working extremely hard. For all you know that girl could have been online shopping since 4am, stayed to cover sick calls to help and you could have been the 5th customer that had a checkout issue where she knew she would not be supported by her supervisor again. Or maybe she was just in a bad mood. Who knows?

Retail can be great but it is HARD and people are so quick to complain when they think they are not being served correctly. But post-covid, customers have become increasingly abusive and the jobs have got harder and harder especially as stores navigate the cost of living crisis. Management in retail is usually apalling and this takes its toll on the shop workers. Unprofessional? Definitely. But everyone is human and you could have just crossed paths on a very challenging day.

CeeJay81 · 28/03/2024 18:47

As someone who works in food retail, it sounds to me like awful management or maybe someone just really struggling.

Where I work, if you are unsure of anything you just have to ask on the head set. A manager or someone who knows how to help, will always come to help or explain over the head set if able to. I've heard that Asda are awful to work for though, so it wouldn't suprise me that isnt the case at asda. Everywhere is having to cut back on staff but the store should work as a team not treat their staff like rubbish.

Finallygotmy3 · 28/03/2024 18:54

Anguish · 28/03/2024 18:34

That is such a deeply insensitive thing to say to a woman who has just lost a pregnancy, I'm so sorry. I lost one myself and it was one of the most devastating heartaches.

Thank you for saying that! I've since gone on to have an amazing little boy who is just my world. Said manager had also had a miscarriage herself so to say I was astounded was an understatement, I was undergoing a lot of fertility treatment that they knew about which made it so much worse - I think the difference is that most people whilst having a bad day can maybe sign off an email with a bit of passive aggression to get their rage out. A cheeky "regards" or "best" but we are surrounded by demanding people every second.

I know people say you choose this line of work and they're right you do. I quit my job in my degree related field because I didn't need the money or heightened stress while TTC - but the condescending public always think you're dumb and absolutely everything is your fault personally. I remember covering checkouts and a chap saying "academia was a big word for a check out girl". I was doing my masters at the time and have research published but don't feel the need to explain that to customers 🤣🤣🤣 he'd asked me if I wanted to stay in retail and I said I'd rather go into academia.

My colleagues that have chosen retail as a forever career as some of the kindest, most hard working people I know.

Anguish · 28/03/2024 18:57

Finallygotmy3 · 28/03/2024 18:54

Thank you for saying that! I've since gone on to have an amazing little boy who is just my world. Said manager had also had a miscarriage herself so to say I was astounded was an understatement, I was undergoing a lot of fertility treatment that they knew about which made it so much worse - I think the difference is that most people whilst having a bad day can maybe sign off an email with a bit of passive aggression to get their rage out. A cheeky "regards" or "best" but we are surrounded by demanding people every second.

I know people say you choose this line of work and they're right you do. I quit my job in my degree related field because I didn't need the money or heightened stress while TTC - but the condescending public always think you're dumb and absolutely everything is your fault personally. I remember covering checkouts and a chap saying "academia was a big word for a check out girl". I was doing my masters at the time and have research published but don't feel the need to explain that to customers 🤣🤣🤣 he'd asked me if I wanted to stay in retail and I said I'd rather go into academia.

My colleagues that have chosen retail as a forever career as some of the kindest, most hard working people I know.

Omg that's nuts. Glad you finally got your little prince in the end.

Allfortheloveofabiscuit · 28/03/2024 19:24

I think you should complain from the point of view of letting higher up know there is a problem in this store, especially if the attitude is an ongoing issue.
Complaining isnt always about receiving something as compensation!

MyMotherThouArt · 28/03/2024 19:24

NotQuiteNorma · 28/03/2024 13:26

Says it all really.

It’s perfectly clear what happened-

she forgot her debit card,

had £37 available in cash and vouchers,

had to faff around working out what she would have to put back

tried to pay at the scan and go thing not realising that it was card only

she couldn’t cancel the transaction and go to a different till because then she would have lost the vouchers

so she was stuck with cash to pay £5 odd- and the staff she asked for help were unhelpful and unprofessional.

Really really not difficult to follow.

tattygrl · 28/03/2024 19:30

Sounds like a completely natural consequence of the horrendous working conditions for most supermarket retail workers at the moment. It must have been a horrible experience for you, OP, but this really is just a result of a person being burnt out by being overworked and underpaid. If you want to complain, I'd focus on the conditions, not the individual person. Clearly it was chaotic and the staff couldn't cope.

MyHornCanPierceTheSky · 28/03/2024 19:37

I explained to the supervisor that I wanted to cancel my order and put some bits back and he took me to the customer services, but the lady was talking to some of her friends for ages. Eventually I explained to her the situation and told her that I wanted to just scan enough for £37 and put the rest back. She didn't help me figure it out, but just cancelled what I scanned so far.
Did the supervisor not interject to the 'talking for ages'?
Why would she figure out what you wanted to buy? Could you not just watch the total as it runs up and stop as you neared £37?

Nanny0gg · 28/03/2024 19:47

ChangeIing · 28/03/2024 13:19

You seem to think that you’re entitled to have a bad day and be flustered and frustrated, but nobody else is.

If you don’t like that store, go elsewhere.

Mountain out of a molehill.

It wasn't the OP's fault and if your job is customer facing and customer service then you shouldn't take company issues out on them

And the OP was polite the whole time

SpicyMoth · 28/03/2024 19:48

Janetsmug · 28/03/2024 13:39

Sorry OP, your thread seems to have summoned all the arseholes MN has to offer for some reason! I didn't struggle to follow your post and I'm sorry you had such a shitty experience, you didn't deserve any of it.

I would complain about the situation as a whole and give a factual account of how the staff behaved. Store management can't do anything about problems they don't know about and it definitely sounds as though there are problems in that particular store.

Hope your day improves and please try to remember the golden rule of MN, take what is useful to you from the replies and completely ignore the rest, some people can't resist being knobs when they can hide behind a screen Flowers

Completely agree, you can't win in most online forums imho - You'll get complaints of drip feeding without all the info, then when all the info is supplied you're told it's too long winded and hard to follow!

Fwiw @Springingintolife , I didn't find it hard to follow at all, and If anything I'm very curious about the minibus service you use/how much it costs etc as tbh I could really do with that type of thing myself rather than having to rely on tagging along with my mum when she goes for her food shop!!

Nanny0gg · 28/03/2024 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Purport?

Cherrysherbet · 28/03/2024 20:10

Friedchickenrocks · 28/03/2024 17:59

Sorry but you chose it. Nobody forces you to work in retail. Study and get a better job then. I wouldn't be seen dead working in a shop.

That says it all.

This is what so many people think of shop assistants.

I work in a supermarket. I love my job. I help people day in, day out. Have I ever behaved like this person? No. Can I understand what drove her to it? ABSOLUTELY………having to put up with the likes of YOU.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

whiskeycats · 28/03/2024 20:21

Good grief what a song and a dance.

NannyWanny1 · 28/03/2024 20:22

It’s no picnic working on self scan.. you have ppl Clicking their fingers at you, shouting at you , calling you stupid cuz they have to wait a minute becuz you’re helping sumone else. Let alone the fact your short staffed .. it’s no use ppl saying it’s your job, it is but we all deserve to be treated with some respect