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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asked for help in ASDA and she had a breakdown.

294 replies

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 12:54

Not sure what I'm asking about being unreasonable for, but am I unreasonable to be shocked?

So it was my fault. I had gotten round and started scanning things on the self checkout after having done my whole shop and realised I had take my card out of my pocket and left it on the side at home. I'm a single mum with a condition which affects my memory, so I have to check 100 times for things before I leave the house but this morning DD was taking her time getting ready for school and I was being picked up by a local minibus service as soon as I had dropped her off and was in a rush.

But I had some ASDA vouchers on my phone from free school meals for the holidays and £7 in cash as I had had a 10 euro note lying around and had cashed it in at the beaureu de change booth. (Remembered that but couldn't remember my card!). My phone doesn't let me do that google pay thing, as it isn't a good enough phone.

I explained to the supervisor that I wanted to cancel my order and put some bits back and he took me to the customer services, but the lady was talking to some of her friends for ages. Eventually I explained to her the situation and told her that I wanted to just scan enough for £37 and put the rest back. She didn't help me figure it out, but just cancelled what I scanned so far.

So I went and grabbed one of those scan and go things as I have an account with them, so I could add up the most important parts of my shopping and put back anything over £37.

Anyway, after I had spent about half an hour doing this, I had 15 minutes left until the minibus was leaving and I went over to the bit to pay for scan and go. As I never use cash, I didn't know that you couldn't pay for cash at the scan and go bit, as it doesn't actually say that when you queue up, and I'd never tried to before, so it wasn't something that crossed my mind.

I scanned the vouchers I had on my phone and had £5.53 left to pay. It was only then that I noticed that there was nowhere on the machine to put cash into.

So I called for assistance to explain, thinking they could maybe transfer my payment over to customer services for me to pay the rest in cash, or help me re-scan everything in the self service bit.

When a different girl came over this time, I calmly explained the situation and she looked at the screen and got really stressy, saying she didn't know what to do, as I'd used gift vouchers for some of my shopping. So she asked for help on her headset and I think they told her to find a supervisor and she stomped off (I think they said this, because she walked over to the cash registers and the ladies on the minibus later mentioned in passing, that they had gotten the supervisors to man the cash registers as it was a bit busier than usual).

As she was stomping off, a lady with limited english was trying to get to the self service tills for trolleys and she was getting aggravated at them for walking through the scan and go to get to the self scan for trolleys, next to it. Kept shouting at them to leave the scan and go back around to get into the two person queue, but they didn't understand. She had a huge loud huff about it, threw her arms up and walked off.

But on her way to the cash registers, she let out a huge shout and said "I'm OUT", and kicked her headset angrily across the floor. I don't know if she threw it on the floor or if it fell off her head first, before she kicked it. I wasn't watching I only looked up and saw her because of her shouting and huffing.

Then she walked past me and in the opposite direction to the customer service desk, and never came back. A lady who had witnessed it all (customer) looked and me and said "I'm standing back", as this staff member had been so angry walking past her.

There was no one left in the scan and go area, and I couldn't press the button again for assistance, as she hadn't scanned her pass to reset it. I couldn't just cancel the transaction and go to self scan as I had already scanned my vouchers on my phone and would have lost them.

After about 5 minutes, another worker came into the scan and go and started helping other people. I asked her if the girl was coming back and she said 'no.' I said 'did she just quit?' and she said 'no, she just...' and kinda sighed with exasperation. I asked her for help and she looked at the screen and said 'yeah i know', and scanned her pass to reset the assistance screen and walked off. I had to wait for her to finish with new customers and then asked her for help again and she got really annoyed at me and said 'it's because you can't use cash here'. I calmly said, 'yes I know, but it was a mistake, I didn't realise.' She walked off again. I was about to just leave my £5.53 cash at the customer services desk and walk out, as I'd been standing there for ten minutes now waiting for help, and the minibus was due to leave, when the man next to me (who was also annoyed as he had just been made to re-scan his entire shop for picking up 2 different flavours of hams on an offer, instead of 2 the same) paid for me on his card and I gave him my cash. So the staff were refusing to help me otherwise.

I know I created the situation with my forgetfulness and not realising I couldn't pay cash until too late, but surely there's a better way to handle someone having made a mistake and asking for help to pay. They were all huffing and puffing about having to help customers, and normally they're just standing around chatting, so it seemed like they just didn't like having to engage with people for that busy day.

I was wondering if I should complain, but maybe the girl who shouted and kicked her headset across the shop after my request blew her mind, had been having a bad moment in her life.

OP posts:
slashlover · 28/03/2024 17:20

Respect for the worker who threw the headset, the number of times I've wanted to do similar. (Have my leaving letter written and feel like one or two more things and it will be handed in.)

Retail has been shit in the past few years.

Doteycat · 28/03/2024 17:21

Anguish · 28/03/2024 17:05

what is your job, PP?

None of your business.

Anguish · 28/03/2024 17:24

Doteycat · 28/03/2024 17:21

None of your business.

tells me all I need to know.

FlissyPaps · 28/03/2024 17:25

concernedchild · 28/03/2024 16:59

Yeah the OP has. If you forget your card, go home. Don't inconvenience staff.

Did you fail to read where OP says she doesn’t drive and was being picked up from ASDA at a certain time-slot via community minibus?

Granted it’s not the staff’s fault that OP had forgotten her card, but she had enough in cash and vouchers to be able to pay for £35ish worth. It sounded complicated but not impossible. The staff were rude and unhelpful, not inconvenienced.

Inthebitterend · 28/03/2024 17:26

I used to work in customer service and I hated it so much. People are rude, argumentative, demanding day in day out. They treat you like you're their personal servant than someone hired to aid people. I used to have moments I'd cry before I started work because I knew how awful it was going to be (I was also a teenager so wasn't as thick skinned as I am now).

Having said that, I'd never ever want to work with the public again.

All that to say, I feel for the staff member. You didn't deserve poor treatment OP but have some compassion for someone who is clearly going through a bad time. I understand your predicament as you have explained it thoroughly, but the worker didn't know all of that, they just saw probably their 30th customer who "didn't realise" it was card only and all that.

I wouldn't complain, I'd just move on.

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 28/03/2024 17:26

Is there any job now where people dont think you should do whatever demanded and put up with all kinds of shit and abuse thrown at you because it's your joooobbb?
Look at the health care/teaching threads for instance!

WhoaJayShettybambalam · 28/03/2024 17:27

Why are people being such dickheads?

ChronicOnVodkaAndTonic · 28/03/2024 17:30

concernedchild · 28/03/2024 16:59

Yeah the OP has. If you forget your card, go home. Don't inconvenience staff.

OP has a condition that effects her memory...

Anguish · 28/03/2024 17:33

ChronicOnVodkaAndTonic · 28/03/2024 17:30

OP has a condition that effects her memory...

And maybe the staff member she is seeking revenge on does too. 2 way street

AngelQuartz · 28/03/2024 17:34

colouredball · 28/03/2024 17:18

@AngelQuartz

I also don’t know why several posters are struggling to understand your opening post. I understood perfectly well.

It's probably down to cognitive ability. I struggle with the a lot of information and couldn't make it to the end of the post. OP has since said she didn't want to leave anything out. Neither one of us is 'wrong' - I do wonder though why when you are claiming to be much more able than the likes of myself, you fail to understand that humans ability differed in all areas. Interesting.

Oh giver over.

I didn’t say anyone was ‘wrong’ did I?

I was referring to the numerous posters being patronising and rude by saying:

Could you not just summarise the actual problem? This is all over the place and impossible to follow. I gave up half way through

What an unnecessarily long post. Annoying.

To be fair I'd probably have a breakdown too after what I've just read.

If people with cognitive issues are struggling to understand the OP’s post then there are much kinder ways of asking for more condensed version, without being dicks, isn’t there? Interesting 🙂

Fieldsofgold1 · 28/03/2024 17:36

WhoaJayShettybambalam · 28/03/2024 17:27

Why are people being such dickheads?

On here? Or in general?

colouredball · 28/03/2024 17:37

@AngelQuartz

Thanks for your considered response

Roselilly36 · 28/03/2024 17:38

I would assume the assistant is having a hard time out of work, and just give her a break, it doesn’t excuse the treatment you received OP, I am sorry for that. But honestly, I would let it go.

Daisydaisy69 · 28/03/2024 17:39

Unless you work in retail, you won’t understand how stressful and toxic it can be. It’s just a job in a shop but honestly, it can drive you to distraction, customers are absolutely disgusting sometimes how they talk to staff. Management, I don’t know where to start on that one. So don’t complain, it was probably the straw that broke the camels back for her today. She’s done what we all feel like doing but can’t as we need our job 🤷‍♀️

TiffanyBucksFizzRainbowBright · 28/03/2024 17:39

StrongTea · 28/03/2024 13:12

Our asda is the same, usually 1 manned checkout, staff chatting and huff when asked to help. Think you would be quite right to complain but doubt if you would get much response.

Absolutely this. Are they told to do this in their staff training I wonder. I try not to go into Asda now for this reason. They tell me they are short staffed, I think the problem lies with the business model. I do want to be treated like a human in a shop. OP enjoy your cuppa I think it's appalling and I also think this stuff seems very common since covid. Automation forgetting people are people. Asda's - Computer says no! Grin don't get me started on the horrible atmosphere in shops due to shoplifting...

Doteycat · 28/03/2024 17:39

Anguish · 28/03/2024 17:24

tells me all I need to know.

What a non answer.
It tells you nothing. I guarantee it.

Radyward · 28/03/2024 17:42

Seriously the whole situation is so convoluted. Just so messy.credit card / cash/ vouchers. Just pay with one or the other next time and that will be that and put google pay on your phone

CarrotCake01 · 28/03/2024 17:44

I don't think a lot of your story is really relevant to what you're asking although I think I lost track of what that was! 🤦🏼‍♀️

I mean, what that girl was going through was nothing to do with you. As in, it wasn't your fault, you didn't cause it. It was the straw that broke the camels back perhaps but anything would have set her off at that point. She was clearly having a bad day and wasn't getting help from her supervisors or managers.

Supermarkets and customer service roles can be really stressful and it sounds like she was expected to do about 3 peoples jobs. End of her tether, you know?

I'm not really sure what your question / involvement is though?

Differentstarts · 28/03/2024 17:47

The way she behaved is obviously not a regular occurrence and is literally someone on the verge of a breakdown. You don't know what's going on in her personal life. You can make a complaint that will do nothing for you but could potentially push her over the edge or you can let it go and understand people aren't robots and can only take so much

Friedchickenrocks · 28/03/2024 17:57

Am boycotting Asda now. Delivery set for Mon, 5-6. Came at 2.45, wasn't in, cancelled it. Yesterday, for 6-7, came at 4.15 but luckily was in. 3 items wrong and my 3 creme eggs missing and charged for. They can go to hell now.

Friedchickenrocks · 28/03/2024 17:59

slashlover · 28/03/2024 17:20

Respect for the worker who threw the headset, the number of times I've wanted to do similar. (Have my leaving letter written and feel like one or two more things and it will be handed in.)

Retail has been shit in the past few years.

Sorry but you chose it. Nobody forces you to work in retail. Study and get a better job then. I wouldn't be seen dead working in a shop.

Differentstarts · 28/03/2024 18:02

Friedchickenrocks · 28/03/2024 17:59

Sorry but you chose it. Nobody forces you to work in retail. Study and get a better job then. I wouldn't be seen dead working in a shop.

Wow

mathanxiety · 28/03/2024 18:03

Sorry you had such a rough morning.

Some of the staff clearly treat the customers as nuisances who inconvenience them.

I'd just try to put it behind me if I were you.

It was nice of the man to pay your remainder. Maybe focus on that kindness instead.

BandyMcBandface · 28/03/2024 18:05

Friedchickenrocks · 28/03/2024 17:59

Sorry but you chose it. Nobody forces you to work in retail. Study and get a better job then. I wouldn't be seen dead working in a shop.

You do know that people who work in retail are not lesser beings?

I wouldn’t enjoy working in any job that involves the general public but have a great deal of respect for anyone who chooses to do that.

FlissyPaps · 28/03/2024 18:05

Friedchickenrocks · 28/03/2024 17:59

Sorry but you chose it. Nobody forces you to work in retail. Study and get a better job then. I wouldn't be seen dead working in a shop.

You’re everything that’s wrong with society.

I wouldn’t be seen dead heaving a dreadful classist attitude. 🐄 🐮

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