To get my DH a separate laundry basket

[Barcelonita]

DH is not great around the house and will never put on a wash and always has to be asked to ‘put clothes on the line’ ‘take clothes on’ , ‘put in dryer’ etc etc and it’s wearing.

The other day he, yet again, put drying on the wrong setting so it wouldn’t dry and when he checked and said it was still wet, I said I’d show him the proper setting. He then got all annoyed at my ‘tone’ . He basically hates being told
what to do but seen as he hates that and also won’t show any initiative was I unreasonable to buy a new basket and tell him to do his own? I mean I’d rather we could manage things together but that doesn’t seem to be happening.

Before anyone asks he doesn’t do much around the house.

go for it he's a grown man

I did buy it @TooraLoora but it feels very petty.
But if he is not doing it himself and then bristling when asked, I really don’t see I have a choice

Yes, do it. I've just had similar this morning. DH put everything in the dryer when I was out. He then put it all away, with still damp waistbands, collars and all the thick bits. He refuses to use any setting other than 'freshen up'.

@thenightsky After 20 years I’ve really just had enough of this man child shit

I thought you were going to say you'd only just moved in together.

How have you put up with this for 20 years?

I don’t know @Churchview but something has just snapped

Of course it's not unreasonable to do this. YABU not to have done it years ago.

@Barcelonita Good for you. If you don't make a stand now you'll be sweeping up behind the lazy clown for the rest of your days.

We’ve always had separate wash baskets (the kids also have their own), I always have a full load of mine and the kids clothes and he is happy to bung all his clothes in on the same setting so it works well.

My DH and I have always had seperate baskets. He does his own. As this will be a change for you I would expect chaos, for instance, my DH has a day a week when he does his laundry. I do our bedding and towels and of course my own laundry, but because he has a set day for his this means I can plan when I do the others (wednesdays and Fridays!). As yours is going to take ages to grow up around this I would expect chaos for a while. My DH also has responibility for a bathroom so that I'm not the only one cleaning loos and showers.

It's how we do it.
We all have our own laundry baskets and do our own washing. We take it in turns to do DS's and communal stuff.

I stopped doing dhs laundry after my second pregnancy. He's always had his own basket as his clothes are always stinky from sweat and I don't like them mixed in the wash with my clothes. Took a bit of doing as his dm(and myself) had never had him launder his own clothes. It took a bit of doing, and re-re-re-explaining before he was able to do it himself without disaster. DH was happy to do it though so I think that makes a difference. After twenty years op, good grief tell him do his own or wear a robe everywhere

Where are you all finding these useless men who can’t operate domestic appliances? Bloody hell.

After my DH had ruined DD’s new clothes the second time I separated our washing. He does his own now.

We have washed clothes separately for years and once the children got to mid teens I got them to do their own washing too. I like to wash mine every week, get them out straight away and dry them. Others like to bulk wash every few weeks when they run out of clean clothes and then leave baskets of wet clothes around. As it no longer affects me I just leave everyone else to get on with their system. Much easier than trying to get them to conform to mine. I still wash towels and bedding.

If you’ve put up with man child shit for 20 years I’d say it’s too late now. Just fully accept you are his house maid and let go of the angst.

DH does plenty of housework, but everyone in our home has their own laundry basket. It’s just easier than commingling the clothing and then having to sort it. We do the same amount of laundry as we would if we had a communal hamper, as people only wash when they have a full load of laundry.

How is it petty? I consider laundry to be personal hygiene. I would only do it for others if they were children, or incapacitated.

I've never washed DPs clothes in 25 years together, and it baffles me that this is expected in some households.

OP, I have never done DH’s laundry. I don’t want smelly boy things with my lovely clothes! I have also never let him do mine, even though he happily would. I have a complicated system of sorting (I have ADHD) and will not tolerate interference.

You did absolutely the right thing.

Be careful he doesn’t try to sneak in his pants in to your washing.

Does this ring any bells for you OP,? https://www.google.com/search?q=magic+laundry+basket&oq=magic+laundry+&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgAEAAYgAQyBwgAEAAYgAQyBggBEEUYOTINCAIQLhivARjHARiABDIHCAMQABiABDINCAQQLhivARjHARiABDIHCAUQABiABDIHCAYQABiABDIHCAcQABiABDIHCAgQABiABDIJCAkQABgKGIAEMg0IChAuGK8BGMcBGIAEMgcICxAAGIAEMgcIDBAAGIAEMg0IDRAuGK8BGMcBGIAEMg0IDhAuGK8BGMcBGIAE0gEINzk5M2owajSoAg6wAgE&client=ms-android-motorola-rvo3&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8&chrome_dse_attribution=1#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:25dfed5f,vid:SqQgDwA0BNU,st:0

@Barcelonita

after 20 years you need to be redoing the patio, not buying a laundry basket!

Married a long time. Even in retirement I still did all the laundry.

Picking his clothes up from the hamper/floor, sorting into loads, washing, hanging up and folding and returning to bedroom.

The menopause changed my default button to the Resentment setting. The only was to cancel this is resetting it by using a Divorce App.

I ferl your pain!
My DH is very random about when he uses the laundry basket. Sometimes dirty clothes are on the floor a few days before they get there. (No idea why!!)

The one thing that seems to promot him putting dirty washing in the laundry....is an empty laundry basket ...about 5 min after I've just put the washing machine on. It drives me mad.
I think he's used the washing machine 3 times in 20 years

Of course it isn't too late. It isn't the OP's sole responsibility. Why should we be allowed to be walked all over?

OP - he will soon learn when he hasn't got any clothes!

Thanks @Screamingabdabz so helpful.