To get my DH a separate laundry basket

[Barcelonita]

DH is not great around the house and will never put on a wash and always has to be asked to ‘put clothes on the line’ ‘take clothes on’ , ‘put in dryer’ etc etc and it’s wearing.

The other day he, yet again, put drying on the wrong setting so it wouldn’t dry and when he checked and said it was still wet, I said I’d show him the proper setting. He then got all annoyed at my ‘tone’ . He basically hates being told
what to do but seen as he hates that and also won’t show any initiative was I unreasonable to buy a new basket and tell him to do his own? I mean I’d rather we could manage things together but that doesn’t seem to be happening.

Before anyone asks he doesn’t do much around the house.

My husband always does laundry when home alone but puts it on the line, doesn't tell me then it rains. Not helpful

My laundry basket is a basket with a mountain next to it. There's no way anyone else's drawers are fitting in there.
I'd be worried about him washing my clothes with his and then them going missing.
So seperate laundry baskets for each family member, definitely. Do a laundry schedule so you all have a time frame to remove yours from the machine as then someone else will use it. Laundry left in will be dumped out damp onto the floor. Lol.

My husband and I have always had separate wash baskets. I didn't know other couples did it differently until my friends expressed surprise, but it genuinely just never occurred to me to take on washing for a grown up who'd been doing it for a decade before I came along.

I have never done DHs washing. I do mine and DDs, He does his own and household (towels, bedding etc).

I'm training DD to do her own soon.

I don't wash my husbands clothes. He is shit at hanging washing, drapes stuff everywhere, no order, all scrunched up. So I do mine and the kids and do it properly and he can do what he wants with his which includes hanging it out an hour before it's predicted to rain and putting it away wet.

Yes, of course it's fine. Stop washing his clothes and your resentment levels should drop.

But I suspect as he's lazy and sees you as the maid, he will still expect you to do the housework.

The only thing that would be wrong with this is that it was not done years ago.

I recommend separate closets in addition to separate baskets if you have the space or grown children freeing up a closet in the future.

My DH has always had his own laundry basket. Doesn't it fill up really quickly if you share?

It took me twenty years too @Barcelonita . It doesn't work as the default "lets fuck something else up for DW" activates. Took me another 5 years before I discovered @Imgoingtobefree divorce app. In about one year I will be free.

It's never too late.

Posts like this make me grateful that my useless sack of Sh!te manchild turned out to be a lying cheat so I no longer have to put up with this crap, not lying being single in your 40’s is literally top tier stuff

DH does his own laundry. And occasionally some of mine.

I do my laundry. And occasionally some of his.

I nearly murdered him when he put my very expensive swimsuit in the dryer to help me because I was going to the pool twice in one day. I/he/we couldn’t afford to replace it like for like so now I have a horrible and uncomfortable one from Sainsbury’s. 😡

Does he do anything else around the house? I do all the laundry but he does all the shopping and most of the meal prep. I hate cooking he hates laundry to me it's a fair trade but he does know what settings to use

I do all of the washing… but he does more cooking than I do and all of the washing up/ dishwasher loading/unloading which I loathe… when he cooks - he washes up, when I cook - he washes up!🤣 Works for us…

I haven’t washed my husbands clothes for about 5 years. At one point I was even taking his stuff out of my pike to wash even though he had finally put it in the wash basket.
he never puts on towels/ bedding or his own without being asked and like you I had had enough.
He knows how to use it and eventually does a day or 2 of washing. More recently though he seems to be leaving his clothes all around the house. I bagged it all up in a black sack and put it under the stairs. He was then all, I can’t find any of my hoodies?!?!?!?

Ugh. Overgrown children.

my husband is picky about EVERYTHING! But can’t be bothered to hang my laundry. So he does his own. And complains when I build up laundry so I have full loads…

anyway totally reasonable. Please stop enabling this little child! You are not his mother.

That’s exactly my experience too! (And he would not expect me to do it).

I sometimes hang his non tumble dry stuff on the dryer if I want to free up the machine for my own or DS’ stuff, but he always thanks me profusely when I do that.

Me, DH and DD all do our own washing. Not because of anyone's incompetence, just because it's so easy. No sorting the other end, just fill the basket and go.

Do it. I did, it’s great! With that one small change my husband started taking resp for his own stuff. He never knew what to do with mine anyway and I felt responsible and resentful before. All good now.

I live with DS they're hard work. His DF drove me round the twist. I've said no-one else will tolerate it in the big wide world. And still it continues.
He's 28!

It doesn’t feel in the slightest bit petty to me. ‘You’re a capable adult, but you have not put any effort into working out how to do washing, and you don’t like me telling you how -in fact I think you might deliberately do it badly after I try and tell you, so I am not going to anymore. But I am also not going to do your washing, and either you are actually totally incapable and destroy all your clothes or you work out how. Either way you will have to sort it.’ There is absolutely nothing petty about saying I have taken steps so that you an adult, do some adulting. He’s still doing nothing at all for his family, just his own washing like a single man. The next step after this is contributing to the family.

If your ds is/are behaving like their DF did, you need to make changes now. You are right that the current generation of young adults seem less tolerant of just rubbish from a partner- nobody will take them off your hands! They won't go of their own accord if you're doing everything either.

We've always had seperate baskets. I sometimes help out with his if he asks me or I am in a break with wfh (he doesn't wfh). That and seperate duvets are game changers

And here lies the problem. I can see why he feels it’s unreasonable for you to move the boundaries of what’s acceptable after 20 years. How you have put up with it this long is beyond me 🤯

Exactly this. He's a fragrant kind of man and I find laundry quite therapeutic so I don't mind. Much less aggro than constant cooking and shopping. But he can and will use the machine quite competently.