"Hello trouble"

[TheAverageJoanne]

A man I vaguely know (friend's stepbrother) said this to me in greeting yesterday at a funeral. I found it trivialising and sexist (he wouldn't have said it to a man). AIBU?

Oh, for the love...

You are over thinking it, it's just a greeting, l call my two sons double trouble, jokingly.

It's the sort of thing that older sleazy men say to younger women in my experience. The only men who have ever greeted me in this way are ones I want to run far away from

It’s totally old school 80s flirting. It has a retro charm, like Keith Floyd.

At a funeral! My goodness. I hope he’s a Matt Berry type.

Really, you don't get it from gay men?! Older native Londoners of both sexes and gay men of any age are the ones who say it to me. None of them are being sleazy.

People get offended way to easily these days.

LolaSmilesor the OP is just someone who gets offended quite easily
Perhaps.
I think I'd be naturally more reserved with someone I only vaguely knew, especially at a funeral. Even this thread suggests there's probably regional variation.

What this thread shows is that the death of the local market (fruit/veg/clothes/tat) is having a huge impact on people's understanding of generic, harmless, chatty, sociable human interactions.

I was someone who commented saying that I’d feel patronised by this, and I’ve since come back and seen that people are being told they’re ridiculous for not liking it etc. Where I’m from, people used to say it to me a lot as a young child, with a very childlike tone to their voice, and I’ve never heard anyone say it to an adult, nor have I had it said to me since about 12 at the most.

I associate it as a friendly way to greet a child so I would feel a bit belittled if it was said to me now, in the same way I’d feel put out if someone send ‘’Hello, cheeky chops!’’ I just don’t associate it with adult communication. That doesn’t make someone ridiculous, it’s just association and what you’re used to.

This - It's been said to me before, I just took it as a friendly type greeting from someone I hadn't seen for years.

Oh for goodness sake .........

Some people seem to spend far too much of their time looking for something to offend them.

Where I come from its said as an affectionate greeting for a small child, usually your own. I wouldn’t say it to an adult, esp a colleague, of either sex, but I wouldn’t find it offensive or demeaning.

Perhaps he thought he was being cute/friendly/funny? I’d perhaps check why he’s saying it but don’t take it too seriously, just ask him to stop.

I know lots of men who would say it to other men in a banter type way and so I wouldn't be offended tbh.

Interesting set of responses. The guy definitely knows my name. He's late 50s, married and a granddad and has form for flirting with women online.

It’s the sort of thing I as a woman would say to another woman who I thought was lively and good fun rather than dull and boring.
A sort of thank god someone has come along to make us laugh rather than going on about the weather or prices in Sainsbury’s.

Not sure I would say it at a funeral though.

The flirty suggestions are worrying me… a guy at work who has been my boss on a couple of occasions has said this to me a handful of times.

We get on well but I’ve never thought there was a flirty dynamic at all. He’s always very outspoken about his wife and family and loves them! Maybe it’s not always flirty, perhaps meant to be causal and friendly?

I let him off for it as we have a good relationship, but on the whole it’s not something I approve of.

Noone is at their best at a funeral. Let it go.

I think of this as an affectionate term too. When said to a toddler/small child with a warm tone it kind of conveys the sense that you like them warts and all. I may be overthinking that! I wouldn’t be offended by this from an adult. We had someone come round to quote for a job the other day who called me ‘love’ repeatedly. That grates on me, but equally I know it will be what he’s grown up hearing and is just second nature to him to say, so I just let it go. In the case of ‘trouble’/ it would be weird for a stranger to say it, but from an old friend or relative seems entirely appropriate, nice even.

Perhaps you take yourself too seriously cheeky chops

YANBU, I don’t like it either. Thankfully it’s quite outdated now and only seems to be used by those aged 50+.

Some of the comments on here are very nippy. You can dislike something without being offended by it 🙄

@ZetuianRose Inappropriate at work especially from a male boss to a woman subordinate. Is he the love child of Gene Hunt and David Brent?

I HATE being called "love". I find it so patronising and sexist.
I own a home improvements/construction related company. We would NEVER address a customer as "love". It's always Mrs * or Madam.

@Fizzadora a comment can be offensive even if not intended that way. If your DH says this a lot, it might be useful for him to learn that some people may not like it

It wouldn't hugely bother me, but does no harm to be aware

You are incorrect. The young people in our family still have a joke with other people and don't take everything to heart. Not just the over 50's.

It's definitely not classed as patronising in Sheffield.