"Hello trouble"

[TheAverageJoanne]

A man I vaguely know (friend's stepbrother) said this to me in greeting yesterday at a funeral. I found it trivialising and sexist (he wouldn't have said it to a man). AIBU?

Oh I love treacle, that was a big one when I was growing up

I think that people who look to be offended about things like this, just dont understand that humans interact with each other informally, or they dont like it. Its really sad.

People often move area. As I did. The general warm greetings have varied hugely between the three areas that I've lived in for long periods (East Midlands, Yorkshire and the south-east). I adjusted.

They do move and adjust, but what I mean is that if the OP was somewhere where everyone under the sun says "hello trouble" to everyone else then it's unlikely she'd come on Mumsnet writing a post about it surely she'd already know.

Something about the interaction at the funeral had left the OP feeling uncomfortable. It might have been purely the words "hello trouble", it could also include the other factors such as tone of voice, body language, the situation, the fact she only vaguely knows this man, or a combination of all those factors.

I say it all the time as friendly casual, its has hit a nerve a couple of times but its been explained and laughed off - one was to a child who was quiet mischievous - nothing had happened and I had said it tongue in cheek but her Dad got a bit defensive. But I just said - oh said with affection nothing happened, but she is a livewire and nothing wrong with that etc

Where I live its a greeting meant in affection - usually said to someone the speaker and is said to men, women and children. But it's a bit off to use it in a formal setting like a funeral

@LolaSmiles or the OP is just someone who gets offended quite easily.

My dad greets me with hello trouble.
I greet my brother's with the same.
When my boss walks in I say hello, here comes trouble.
I greet my teen granddaughter with hello, it's botherboots.
No one takes offence!
The knicker twisting on this site is incredible.

I've been unlucky enough to have attended two funerals in the last couple of months, and it's my mother's in ten days or so. At each of those I attended there was real warmth and affection (and yes, gentle humour) in the greetings, which I found supportive. If anyone smiles at me and says 'hello trouble' at my Mum's I'll be very grateful for it. It's going to be a fairly traditionally formal funeral, but there's still room to be warm and kind. Over-formality can be grim.

Treacle, trouble (sometimes ‘ohhh here comes trouble with a capital T’) doll, hen - pally ways of saying hello. Might be regional/ class-based or something. Got one family friend who calls everyone petal! Male, female, cats, whoever. Personally I feel somewhat slighted when people greet me by name, it’s like, am I not in the gang 😜

The best thing to do at funerals is be affectionate, warm, social short hand affections, use people's nick names. People want to feel embraced and supported. Formality does not do that.

Yup.
Love
Flower
Petal
Chuck
Mate
So many.
Said by allsorts to allsorts. Isn't it nice to be relaxed and friendly.

If I don't call you by a word other than you name then I'm not really your friend

Me too!

Some people love to find things to get offended about.

Some men say this to me or use other names to show affection, but just as many women also do the same.

Should we also get offended every time a woman says “how have you been hun/love”?

I have a friend who calls everyone cunt as a term of endearment 🤣

I do this to my very best friends ❤️

I often call my DH a knobhead and he usually answers but I'm your knobhead.

I would consider this overstepping, by a member of the opposite sex, as a married woman and feel uncomfortable with it.

I'm genuinely bewildered by that.

I get this at work from the same people who say "allo duchess". It is meant in a friendly way and doesn't bother me.

Agree, it's madness looking for problems.

It's when he says something really rude and abusive you've hot a problem.

I know someone who is lovely but absolutely dreadful at remembering names. He learned this phrase got him out of a hell of a lot of scrapes at events like this. Don't take it personally.

Or would you rather he said 'err...hello...you...'?

I see it as a term of endearment in a sort of back handed way.

Definitely not sexiest in my eyes. I get called it, I call grown men it! It’s just the same as us calling each other love/babe/darling etc and that isn’t us flirting either. It’s just the circles we run in.

'as a married woman' 🤣🤣
Do you think it means he's trying to get his leg over?
Do we need to analyse everything to death?

YABU