"Hello trouble"

[TheAverageJoanne]

A man I vaguely know (friend's stepbrother) said this to me in greeting yesterday at a funeral. I found it trivialising and sexist (he wouldn't have said it to a man). AIBU?

My uncle still calls me and my brother "trouble" whenever he sees us. We're in our 30s. I say it to DS, his friends, my nieces and nephews etc.
It's definitely something an older person (usually one who saw you grow up) says to a younger person

I agree, it’s not a greeting that would bother me at all.

My friend’s mother used to say this to me - she’s the only person I’ve ever heard this from and I thought it was quite sweet and friendly. Seems not quite the right tone for a funeral, though.

I've said it and had it said to me many times. It's just an affectionate greeting without being 'too' inappropriately affectionate.

Can't see how it's patronising or sexist.

I must live on another planet because I don't find it even mildly offensive. My ds friend always calls me trouble possibly because I've known him since he was about 12 he's now 31 and maybe doesn't find it comfortable to use my name. I've had 2 bosses, male and female use it.
Could possibly be because I am actually a stroppy mare.

Totally depends on the context. I have had it used on me in a flirty way, at work. It creeps me out now when anyone does it and I tell them so and why, and found that it made them stop so they got the message

I don’t think it’s misogyny. I think I’ve only ever heard it said to male children. What an odd thing to say to an adult.

I hear it said between males as 'banter' all the time

What do people mean 'it wouldnt be said to a man'!!!!

I personally don't see how it is a sexist comment. You have assumed he has never greeted a man like this, and therefore put 2 + 2 together and made sexism.

Could it possibly be that emotions are a little fraught with this having happened at a funeral?

I must say that I wouldn't have given this comment a second thought. For reference, I'm a woman in my 50's. If someone said this to me I'd presume they were being friendly with a nod towards being somewhat old school cool. Like saying "how's tricks?" instead of "Hello", in a slightly 30's ganster film way.

Can't see the issue but if it bothered you you should have said something at the time.

How is it sexist? My uncle says it to my brother all the time, and my brother is in his 50s.

I think it’s friendly and casually affectionate. Often said to someone you knew when they were younger.

Potentially he'd forgotten what your name was so used a generic greeting.

It's an expression I'm very familiar with and is used quite a lot in my neck of the woods. It is used by women to other women and men to other men. Also adults to teenagers and children. It is always a term of affection between friends or relatives or adults/children. I have never heard it used in a flirty way. Perhaps if the OP had never heard the term before in her life (which I find strange) then I guess she might conceivably think the man was being rude.

As for it being inappropriate at a funeral, bloody hell, what sort of funerals have most posters been to. The bloke was hardly telling a dirty joke at the top of his lungs was he. It's the equivalent greeting of "hello mate" or "hello lovely" between friends or relatives.

I'm 63 and 'Hello trouble' used as a greeting has always been meant a sign of affection from childhood right through to present day. It's not offensive.

Speaking as a man ……

Theres a woman I vaguely know from a common activity greets me with “Hello trouble” whenever our paths cross

Perhaps I’m blind to her outrageous flirting - or perhaps it’s just the way she greets me

Don't people say it to the least troublesome people they know?

YABU. Do you get offended a lot?

My dad used to call me that sometimes.
He absolutely did not mean he thought I was trouble, or use it in an insulting way.

It was a term of affection and I haven't heard it since he died, so seeing your thread title actually made me smile and wish I could hear him say it one more time.

Nothing sexist about it.

You are not wrong.

I say it to my nephew. He's 4.

Sometimes it can be appropriately flirty. Sometimes it can be humorous in a group of friends if someone's just shared an entertaining anecdote.

But never like this

I would find that really irritating and probably avoid them. It's not offensive but would annoy me nonetheless.

Meh.

@EddieHowesShithousingMags

its just a greeting. It's not deep & meaningful.

my (male) friend popped around yesterday and that's how I greeted him. It's a warm greeting, not literal, fgs.

I should have @ you on my previous post.

it's just an affectionate greeting, it's not literal.

im sorry you had cause to be at a funeral yesterday.

@LovelyLinseed

yes, it is said to men.