"Hello trouble"

[TheAverageJoanne]

A man I vaguely know (friend's stepbrother) said this to me in greeting yesterday at a funeral. I found it trivialising and sexist (he wouldn't have said it to a man). AIBU?

I get "hello trouble" from an oldish man who's a customer where I work. Then when I look over at him he says "oh you know your name don't you"

As in I must be trouble because I responded by looking at him I really don't think he's flirting though, he usually there with his wife.
But I don't like it much, it's pretty strange of your friends step brother to say that to you especially at a funeral

It's very commonly used in my area up North!!
Men say it to other men, it's just a term of endearment and usually used for people that cause very little trouble.

It’s what you say to a child. I’d find it very patronising if someone said it to me as an adult.

Absolutely nothing remotely sexist, offensive or patronising about it!

Yes, someone I worked with said this to me years ago and I found it really offensive. Patronising and demeaning.

Really offensive?

I hope you are joking.

We all say it in my family. More often 'Here comes trouble'! It said to anyone or any age and male or female and even to pets.

All the it's totally ok, chill out, every Tom, Dick, Harry, Sandra and Susan under the son greets everyone, man, woman, child with 'hello trouble' in every situation posts, seem to be missing the point that that mustn't be the case for the OP.

If OP was living in an area where "hello trouble" was a generic greeting used between men and women of all ages and in all situations, it's unlikely that she'd have left the interaction feeling a little uncomfortable and it's unlikely the interaction would have stood out to her.

Heavens above! It's a genial, familiar way of someone, usually older, saying hello.
If it was said to me at an important meeting in front of business colleagues I would think it trivialising and inappropriate but, from an acquaintance, why bother?
There's bigger things in life to be offended by

I thought this was going to be about someone saying it to a child and the long term psychological damage this would cause in their self image.

Vaguely disappointed.

It is not clever, sophisticated or amusing - in fact it is just patronising.

Exactly!!

The most offence I might take from it is that Im so meek and boring, its a bit of oxymoron.

This is why the world has gone to shit.

I like it! But then I am trouble so 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😂

Ugh my abuser used to call
me that. Very creepy

Maybe he forgot your name

I love it when a bloke calls me trouble 😳

Is this another regional thing? Because I don't see it as sexist at all, nor flirty. It's just a warm and mildly affectionate greeting in my experience, and used equally to men and women.

ETA that I don't see it as inappropriate at a funeral, either. There's even more room for warmth and affection at a funeral. Most people need it, and it takes the edge off the sombreness.

This. My oldest brother greets me this way - has for as long as I can remember (I'm 48, he's 62). I don't think I'd accept anyone but DB greeting me similarly, though, now I'm actively thinking about it... but I do know that he started calling me "Trouble" when I was a toddler in the hope that I'd stop asking how high when our mother said "jump" (I asked him a few years ago). It's affectionate, depending on tone of voice - and, actually, he greets me with this at every family event, including funerals. His now teenage son thought that my name was 'Trouble' for a while.

Then again, he's not a mere acquaintance. Were he, I would ignore with a withering look (or a Paddington Stare). Familiarly, though... it's affectionate without being either creepy or plain ol' misogynistic.

People often move area. As I did. The general warm greetings have varied hugely between the three areas that I've lived in for long periods (East Midlands, Yorkshire and the south-east). I adjusted.

'Hello trouble' has been said to me all my life and I say it to other people. It's just affectionate.

I grew up in the Midlands and from what I recall, it was when people started using jokey names or mild insults that you know they liked and trusted you enough to do so. Someone might say 'Alright, big nose' and I'd laugh and reply with 'Who you talking to, bigger nose?'. In those days, such things were considered mild affection and they made life so much lighter than everyone being offended and picking apart everything said to them. 'It must have meant something else' - no, not really. Or as my DH would say, 'Who put a weed up your arse?'.

Aw, I miss Treacle! I used to get that.

My grandad used to say this to me when he was alive. Context is all important, but my grandad was lovely and it was said lovingly all my life from child to adult.

I'm realising as I type, that I'm struggling to care whether such greetings (assuming outside of professional life) are aimed more at women or not. Life's been pretty shit for me for a while, and I'm lapping up any warmth, friendliness and general affection or someone's genuine pleasure at seeing me, like a thirsty man in the desert.

I just can't find it in my to dredge up my usual feminism on this subject.

You are really overthinking this. Stop contributing to the over offended society we seem to now live in. Its oppressive. As PPs have says it's an inoffensive affectionate greeting. It's not meant literally.