"Hello trouble"

[TheAverageJoanne]

A man I vaguely know (friend's stepbrother) said this to me in greeting yesterday at a funeral. I found it trivialising and sexist (he wouldn't have said it to a man). AIBU?

@Fizzadora

thank god there are still some normal people around!

He had probably forgot your name and was using it as diversionary language.

It's not exist, it's genderless language imo, I have seen it used addressing male and female.

Stop taking offense at trivial stuff, you'll probably live longer, at the very least you'll be happier.

Thank god a bunch of normal people have turned up, I was really starting to despair!

Of course it would be said to a man. Not in the Home Counties, granted, but it's not a sex specific greeting, it's not flirtation and it's not demeaning. It's affectionate but platonic. Like mush.

We are living in a patriarchal society, steeped in sexism and yet people keep spotting it in exactly the places it isn't.

If you don't understand the cultural context, fine, but don't just invent things.

Yes!

I couldn't be upset in normal circumstances and would see it as jokey banter. At a funeral though it's very strange thing to say.

It just sounds a bit flirty or jokey. In the nicest possible way, I think you'll survive being called that.

He could've said way worse.

It's the conversational equivalent of a friendly shoulder squeeze. Potentially entirely appropriate for a funeral.

🤷🏼‍♀️ maybe but I find it infantilising and patronising. He doesn’t say it to the males in the team, they get ‘oh alright Paul’ or ‘morning Jim’ whereas I get a creepy ‘hello trouble’. Some situations/people saying it, I don’t mind it but some i do think it’s inappropriate and this is one of them (in my view). Don’t expect everyone to agree but I’m genuinely not a person who looks for offence round every corner.

maybe but I find it infantilising and patronising. He doesn’t say it to the males in the team, they get ‘oh alright Paul’ or ‘morning Jim’ whereas I get a creepy ‘hello trouble’. Some situations/people saying it, I don’t mind it but some i do think it’s inappropriate and this is one of them (in my view). Don’t expect everyone to agree but I’m genuinely not a person who looks for offence round every corner.

So you're admitting there is no intrinsic problem with the term , then? You just don't like the way he uses it? Which is fair enough. You could very well be right about him and his intent.

Slightly odd thing to say at a funeral perhaps, but beyond that agree with pp that it's basically just a greeting. I live in the south west, where you'd be more likely to get 'hello lovely' .

It’s a playful greeting, not an attempt to assert the patriarchy.
Both men and women have said it to me and I’ve heard it used on men.
Can’t understand why anyone would be offended by that, unless they are indeed trouble and are feeling defensive about it.

I had a boss who used to say "Hello, you" to me - and it gave me the shivers.

Seriously what is wrong with this generation! Does it honestly matter?

I appreciate at a funeral it may not have gone down so well but people are so easily offended these days.

If he was greeting a man, he might have called him buddy or dude. In the grand scheme of things, does it honestly matter?

Not in the slightest bit offensive. Used for and by men and women of all ages
Can't see any hint of misogyny or sexism in the remark
YABVU

No, but that's generally because we greet each other with stuff like "Hey knobhead" It's a way of showing affection to a friend without actually showing them any affection, because well that simply wouldn't be masculine.

Stuff like "Hey Trouble" comes from the same place, but said to people you can't get away with a "Alright, ya bastard" to. Namely women and children.

Is it sexist? Of course it is, but I reckon the complaints would be worse if we greeted women like we do men

Now I'm wondering if my colleague is flirting with me or not when he greets me.

@crumbledog 😁

Yes yabu!! It's just an affectionate term, like 'love' or 'pet'. It's a friendly term of endearment. Dear lord, find something worth actually being offended by 🤣 there are much bigger issues then the word 'trouble' 🤣

I think it's just a lighthearted greeting to someone he knows well and likes. I wouldn't be offended by it and I'd be quite likely to say it back 😂 I quite like the idea that I'm trouble 🤣 I got called treacle the other day by a tradesman, that's one I hadn't heard in a while!

I love people saying it to me.

Yeah that one has a slightly more (over) familiar connotation. I can see that might be uncomfortable from someone you don't know.

I think it's actually complimentary

Common term used for both sexes around our way.

Not offensive or patronising in the slightest - usually a bit of a tease at the person, at most.

I say it to older male patients and friends alike it's friendly,jokey non harmful