To say I'm dreading Easter Bank Holidays ?

[Pappadontpreach80]

DH & 2 mid teen DC at home. They will game, maybe see mates etc. They are too young to be left at home all day alone. Me and DH are always around, even if we're in & out the house doing errands etc.

There is nothing going on this bank holiday. Its due to rain the whole time. DC refuse to go away (uk). They might come out for a day. I do not want to be stuck at home doing jobs the whole time. Which is what I do most weekends.

I'll go for a run, see local family etc but apart from that it's going to be be bloody boring. I could go out with friends but I would feel bad leaving DH at home, alone, bored on a bank hol weekend. I don't even know if my friends are around tbh.

What on earth am I going to do ?

Tbh, Friday night I just wanna piss off to the pub with DH. But a bit meh just the two of us. DC like us to be at home, even if they are gaming in their rooms. They like to know we are there. Boring.

Saturday we will go out with DC in the eve for food.

To add, DC don't do walks/ national trust/biking etc so anything like that is out of the question. We don't do the theatre. There's nothing on at the cinema.

Please can someone give me some inspiration. I can't face 4 days in the house/ doing jobs.

Have a day pottering , catch up on washing cleaning change bed etc. then rest of time do what amuses you. Go to pub if you fancy , the teens need negotiation, do not let them opt out or dictate. So we are going out for a walk and pub tea do you can game or whatever until 2pm or something. We had great time DC16 and 19) in nearest city doing an escape room and street food style meal. we also like cards nights or games or film/binge series particularly comedies. Lots of crazy golf places too. invite friends round for games night, do you have a family where the kids get on?
in short , make your own fun

If they're mid teens, you're free and clear to do whatever you want. They can either come with, make plans with friends, or hang around the house. They don't need entertaining or looking after 24/7.

Can't you compromise? Tell DC that you'd like a family day or two over the long weekend, and choose somewhere you know they'll at least vaguely enjoy.

You're allowing your mid teens DC to hold you hostage in your home
If you haven't left them alone for even a short time by now, you are doing them a disservice
You need to encourage confidence and self reliance
Most teens would love to stay in their rooms gaming all day but most parents don't allow them to

Sounds like you’re allowing the kids to rule the household. They’re dictating what the family does and doesn’t do.

They won't game all day every day and will see mates etc. They will game in the eves and expect at least one of us to be around.

It's time for them to learn that they are not the centre of the universe and that you and DH are people in your own right, that you have an existence that isn't defined by them.

If they expect you to be in on nights they spend gaming, then they should also expect that they will come out with you and spend some time interacting with you and - within reason - doing things you want to do too.

I get it op, and I doubt this thread is helping you feel better. It’s more than just a few ideas to fill the bank holiday, I am sure you could manage that yourself with google.

After spending nearly two decades doing Easter farms and national trust day outs. The fun of family life with young children this stage can feel very flat in comparison. Dragging reluctant teens out isn’t fun - yes you can insist - as we do at times but it’s a miserable experience unless they are fully on board. The pub evening sounds dull. I do understand.

Lots of the activities like padel, crazy golf, biking etc are weather dependent. Torrential rain is forecast for much but not all of the weekend.

I imagine the weather is getting you down. Had the forecast been good, I guess you could have enjoyed lots of outdoor fun and picnics. Are you taking vitamin D?

Book a spa day, please yourself - do one family afternoon of their choice. I think you are mourning the loss of little children op, and it’s more about that than anything else.i feel the same. It’s a transitional period, and you are still adjusting.

Only on Sunday for medium/large supermarkets. The convenience supermarkets - no.

Shops are open as normal in Scotland

Why don't you all go out for the day? It does sound very boring if you've got to stay in the house so that your children can game.

Mid teens? So how old exactly? If older than 13 there’s absolutely no reason why you can’t leave them home all day. Tough if they expect one of you to be there, they have the choice to come with you.

OK don't leave them for 10 hours, but they are definitely old enough to stop at home while you go on a national trust walk / shopping / pub lunch. If you want to get them out then kung-fu fu panda and ghostbusters are on at the cinema. Or go bowling, crazy golf, rock climbing etc. We went to a Lane 7 last weekend which was excellent for teens.

Have an informal meet up with other parent-friends (or acquaintances) at your house - kids don't need to move, can chat to other kids and you get ome adult company.

Ask everyone to bring a bottle and some nibbles or a dish depending how much you want to do. I've done this loads, there's always some people who are bored too.

I'd also give these mid-teens the choice of coming with you or staying home alone while you go on a day out locally.

Have a board game challenge - me and son would do this often. Several board games, the overall winner gets to choose the takeaway or film or whatever.

Go to the pub with your husband. It's what you feel like doing. Text all your friends and see if anyone else fancies it.

How old is mid teens? Should they not be revising for their exams? Do they not have holiday jobs? Do they do any chores?

I wouldn't allow gaming all day, nor would I be dictated to by then!

My DH and I are both working part of the weekend, my mid teen will be going to their job and my younger DC will go to a relative as they are too young to be left alone.

I don’t understand why mid teens can’t be left alone all day. They’re not new puppies.

We're going bowling on one day and then intend to spend a few hours playing pool and air hockey with the dc afterwards at £1 a go. We have an independent bowling alley which is more reasonably priced than chains. Mine are younger 11&13 but I do feel the difficulty of finding things to do. I can tempt them on a walk with the promise of ice cream but how much longer for, I'm not sure.

I don't think we will be doing a whole lot more. Dc were ill last half term break and we all seem to have been cycling through colds ever since. We need to use the break to rest and hopefully reset.

Get yourself a family console a switch or even a wii, a couple of games Mario kart Mario party just dance etc plug it in downstairs and have tournaments. We have an escape room at home thing to do. Some crafts for the younger one but my older ones will be gaming mostly I expect.

Oh no socialising with friends whilst doing activities that develop their team building, hand eye coordination etc the horrors.

My kids were babysitting others in their mid teens. It’s utterly ridiculous that they want you around in the evenings while they game. Get them a McDonald’s and go out for a meal with your husband.

none of those barriers are real, you’ve just created them all in your head and then blamed others for them.

I do get it OP (unlike some of the other posters).

Dd is 12 - yes we can (and do) leave her home alone for a few hours (not late in the evening tho), yes we can (and do) get a babysitter sometimes. But she needs to get off a screen and out of the house too.

Yes we drag her out on days out, walks etc. We can make her come out - we can't make her not sulk or talk to us properly or eat if we go for a meal out. Which ruins our day out.
Yes we can take her phone away/stop her allowance etc - just results in more sulking.
Obvs occasionally she's delightful but we never know which version we're going to get.

That's the biggest difference as kids morph into teens I think - all it took was the promise of an ice cream or pizza or movie etc to buy compliance.

OP - dp and I take it in turns to have proper nights out with friends, so we at least feel we have a life outside of immediate family!

But your child is 12, when she is 15/16 you will be able to leave her for longer, no baby sitter either.

What have I just read. Mid teens and can't be left alone all day.

Wtf. Lots of my friends left home at 16 (that was too young but still!)
I went on holiday for 2 weeks to Europe at 16 with 2 friends is was brilliant. Same again at 17 with 8 friends.
You need to get some interests away from your (dull sounding) family. What do you like?
Things I enjoy and do regularly with and without my DC and DH : playing sport (netball, football, tennis), going to the gym, walking up mountains, wild swimming, clubbing, pub quizzes, singing in a choir, going to gigs, going to art exhibitions, doing yoga, learning to dance (very badly but enthusiastically), going on weekends away with friends and with family, going to the cinema, life drawing classes, pottery classes, eating out a different restaurants, cooking new food, meeting friends for a coffee or a drink, going to a new bar/club/venue, taking dogs for a walk, going to the library, going to festivals (with and more fun without the kids), learning to play the piano, playing Xbox even though I'm shite, learning Spanish both online and in a class, putting on a.dinner party for my friends, day trips to other cities/the beach/countryside, visiting family around the country, volunteering at my local community centre, going out with work colleagues.
DH isn't much into socialising so I go out quite a lot without him.

Has the OP not been back?

@MaverickBoon not yet !

Yes we leave the DC but not all day for something like a for an all day day trip and certainly not until the early hours of the morning if we are at (local) friends for drinks etc.
Re the day trip - I don't think 10 hours to drive to the coast (min 2.5 hours each way from where we are, without any traffic issues) is exceptionally long for a day trip. We wouldn't leave DC alone if were that far away, just in case there was an emergency/problem etc.
Lots of ideas for things to do. Yes, I am bored very easily.
Lots of people saying they were left at 16 and went off on their own at 16. The world was a different place back then.
We are not defined by the DC, me and DH could go out and about locally all weekend, popping in/out the house etc during the day and leave DC at home (not sure where we would go. We don't do clothes shopping other then online, neither of us drink tea or coffee, we don't read, we have no interest in the arts/theatre/cinema/NT/gigs/long walks (due to rain anyway)/nature reserves and we don't have a dog) but in the eve the youngest prefers us to be there/around, but this is not a given. No he's not being precious, no he's not spoilt or babied. Yes the DC do come out with us and no they do not game all day every day in the school hols. But, they are now at an age where things like trampoline parks are too young for them.
I still don't know what we will do this bank holiday. Everywhere will be super busy with everyone doing the same activities. Restaurants will be booked up. No I am not just putting barriers up for all ideas.
I could potter at home as I have loads to do - sort my wardrobe out, get on top of all those little jobs I have had no time to do, work though my home 'to do' list and maybe finally make some progress with it, clean the car out, go to the tip with a load of rubbish, there is always sorting/tidying. But I don't want to spend several days doing that lot.

What would you say your usual hobbies/things you do for relaxation are, OP? (Sorry if I've missed this!)