AIBU with being angry with the school?

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Back story:

DD, 11, is in year 6 at school and has autism and adhd.

At the beginning of year 6, it transpired that a child in her class had been repeatedly slapping her around the back of the head. The other child was spoken to, told to apologise, and no further action was taken, which I was annoyed with.

On Friday the same child punched DD in the arm. I was on the school premises at the time, and they did not inform me. I only found out when I picked DD up, who was crying.

DD said that the school had told the other child that they must not do it again, but had not received a punishment nor an apology.

I rang the school immediately and asked to speak to the head, who had spoken to both children. Instead, the class teacher called me back and said "the child said she was joking so no further action is required".

I said that this was unacceptable, and I wanted to speak to the head.

It is now 18:02 on Tuesday, and nobody has contacted me despite me calling and emailing. I asked to speak to someone in person when school finished today, and was told nobody was available.

AIBU to think this is completely unacceptable and well within my rights to email the governor 30 minutes ago, or am I just being a Karen at this point? AIBU to expect that an 11 year old be punished for this?

I'm that furious I feel like punching the head to see how she likes it if it's so funny! (Obviously I wouldn't!)

Comparing a child who should be safe in school to an adult who has chosen to do a job is ridiculous.

Update:

Spoke to the head at 16:00. Shes not prepared to do anything further than the actions that should have already been in place from September. She acknowledged the complaint I made to the governors and this has been allocated to a head at another school in the academy trust to investigate, which I'm happy with. She continued to use ableist and derogatory comments when talking about my daughter, which has been an ongoing issue. I have followed up the call with an email and cc:d the other head in and asked her to add this to my complaint.

DD will not be returning to the school until she is safeguarded from bullying adequately.

“DD will not be returning to the school until she is safeguarded from bullying adequately.”

What form does that take and you feel satisfied with the action?

How is your DD feeling now about it all incl not returning to school until it is sorted?

It seems to me you have been unhappy with this school’s response about incidents since Reception year and it may be that the relationship between yourself and school has broken down as you have no trust in them. What comes across on here is not a parent who wishes to work out (and through) things with the school, so I feel the school are defensive from that standpoint.

If your DD wasn’t yr6 I’d suggest looking at a transfer to another school. I’m not sure how you can work with the school to ensure the next few months will go well (SATs, end of year celebrations, transition to secondary) if you have no trust in them.

What form does that take and you feel satisfied with the action?

Not being forced to sit next to a child for 6 hours a day that keeps hitting her. (should have been happening since the start of year 6, hasn't).

Closer supervision at breaks if they believe that DD is somehow triggering the incidents (should have been happening since the start of year 6, hasn't).

For them to follow the behaviour and take the measures that are outlined for both category 5 behaviour and bullying.

it may be that the relationship between yourself and school has broken down as you have no trust in them. What comes across on here is not a parent who wishes to work out (and through) things with the school, so I feel the school are defensive from that standpoint.

The trust has broken down because the school keep ignoring my DDs SEN needs. A few weeks ago I was very close to taking them to judicial review so the relationship is very fraught. I just want them to follow policies and stop the disability discrimination, I'm not asking for anything above and beyond what they should be doing.

Oh, and I have not discussed the possibility of remaining off school with DD at this stage, but given she makes herself vomit due to the anxiety of going in every day and has panic attacks when I hand her over to a TA at reception, I'm guessing the prospect of not having to go to school won't make her sad....

It sounds to me as though this situation has escalated way beyond what is proportionate.