To think I’m right that she has far more than most?

[jealoysgL]

I know I’m being unfair. I guess my question is how to deal with this in the family environment. Me and DH are in ok jobs and bring in around 50k between us. I know this is a lot of money and we obviously share our home so we have bills halved too etc. We have one dc.

My sister is on 68k AND is given 1k a month from her ex. Her dc is only in nursery three and a half days a week and so the 1k she is paid basically covers this and all her DD’s expenses. Whenever we go out she doesn’t bat an eyelid at buying coffees or lunch, while we will be bringing sandwiches made at home for example.

What is getting to be is that she pleads poverty all the time. My parents always give her ‘a bit extra’ at Xmas or birthdays because she’s on her own… yet we are clearly struggling much more financially! It’s really hit a nerve recently as she’s been saying she has a savings pot for DD’s future and is aiming to reach 30k by the time dd is 3… she’s already 1.5!!!! We have no savings, always stretched yet at family occasions she is always always seen as the poor single parent. I don’t think she even sees how hard it is for me and dh as she just thinks it must be easier. I am finding it so hard not to say anything and know I will be shot down if I do!!! Would you start to explain actually even as a couple we have less?

This is what I have been thinking. She will also have been getting no child benefit.

What you haven't factored in is that with two of you there are more options. You can share the childcare load, have the backup of each other's salaries. One of you could take a second job whilst the other does childcare.

Life is exhausting as a single parent. No one ever makes you a cup of tea or takes turns to make lunch. That's why buying lunch out makes more sense because just for once you want to eat something that has been made by someone else.

Stop casting envious eyes at her.

So they're not good business at all then, just different groups of chances trying to undercut each other at the expense of their employees' quality of life.

Do you think they necessarily mean financially?
One of the hardest things about being a single parent (I was for years) is that there is noone planning something really thoughtful for your birthday or Xmas, or making a fuss on mother's day.
Nobody to share the lovely moments and the hard ones. Never a night where there is someone to share the cooking and housework with.
If she is in a job with a 68k salary and a single parent that is bloody hard juggling. I'm guessing she has more responsibility than you and this is so hard when you have had noone to share the sleepless nights, teething etc with.

She will find it harder to prepare packed lunches etc than you because there is noone to entertain her LO whilst she does this.

Financially she might be ok but everything else about her life probably is a bit (lot) harder than yours. Perhaps your parents are just trying to make her feel that this is acknowledged and to show her how much they love her, in a way that your husband will for you.

What are her outgoings? Mortgage/rent? Car? Commute? Does she own her own home? What is her pension contribution?

All this. I am not a single parent. I admire anyone who is. Their lives are harder than mine even if they have more money.

@mrsdineen2 I totally agree! And I bet the owners of said businesses are earning way more than minimum wage themselves too!

There should be a law that if business owners just pay minimum wage to their employees then the owner can only draw minimum wage themselves each year from the business. See how they like surviving on it!