Being called Mrs *-*

[LorlieS]

I'm married and a Ms My Last Name - His Last Name (hubby also double-barrelled when we married).
So why do so many people insist on addressing me as a Mrs?! AIBU to be annoyed by this?

@surreygirl1987 I could not agree with you more; the lack of respect towards teachers these days - by both parents and pupils - is off the scale by some.
My husband tells me (and he's not that old) that at his school the students were expected to stand up every time a teacher entered the room.
Not for one second of course saying I'd expect this, but I don't expect to be told by a 9 year-old "You can't keep me in for five minutes at lunch because my mum says that's against my human rights, even if I have just punched a kid in the face on the playground."
Yes, I do expect to be addressed as Ms D-B. I also refer to all of the parents using their title and not by their first name.
This lack of respect is just of the reasons (but definitely not the only one) I'm leaving education after 20 years and returning to uni to do my Masters from September.

Not in direct conversation, when referring to me in front of children/parents/written communication.

For example, when posting a letter to parents instructing them to hand forms back to me, or when posting something a class I teach achieved on social media, or when creating signs for my classroom.

Yes, doh scrolled up and saw in a school
I was mortified when the head at school introduced himself as Mr Chalk and my snobby DM smirked. TBF his first name was Peregrine so I can see why he avoided it.
Does anyone know what happens in schools in Sweden? They’re very anti honorifics.

Until I read this thread, I genuinely thought Ms was to be used for women who are divorced.

So I googled it.

I've been confused as to why my children's teachers sometimes refer me to 'Ms' when I'm single...you learn something new every day!

@FlyingDuck5 I don't think less of married women, being one myself.

Then you need to tell people.

Just the ones who choose to use Mrs…

Yeah, I frequently forget my colleagues actual first names because we use their last names far more. Huge school, so many colleagues I don’t know well. Even our email signatures don’t have our first names.

@LittleBearPad How do you refer to your doctor?

Crack through that, do a doctorate and you’ll be sorted.

I know you weren't asking me but I don't refer to my doctor as anything. I've no need to.

Not working in education. Kids struggle to grasp how you can be a doctor AND a teacher.

@LittleBearPad Where did I say that? If other women want to call themselves Mrs that's up to.them, but I personally won't comply with misogyny.

I don’t understand why people get so heated and annoyed over such meaningless things.

You’ve said it’s mostly people assuming. Traditional, once married you go by Mr & Mrs.
even in the modern day, the majority go by Mrs once married.

So what if someone accidentally assumes your title? Correct them and move on. There is literally no need to be offended

I don’t know, I barely see them, generally don’t know their name and on the basis I’d generally have a five minute appointment I crack on without the pleasantries. I call my dentist their first name if that helps you.

Clearly you feel titles engender respect, it’s probably because you work in a school. Meanwhile the rest of the world moves on.

I must tell my husband I’m complying with misogyny. He needs a laugh.

@GneissGuysFinishLast Are you actually a teacher, a doctor, and a WOMAN?!!! Is thst even possible(?!!!) 😀

@LittleBearPad In reality you are.

YABU. Pick your battles in this life, otherwise you’ll end up bitter and miserable

I'd rather be someone who is wrongly thought of as "complying with misogyny" than someone who is rude and sneery towards others.

@Rosesanddaisies1 I am.
Guess I will just keep educating the kids on this so they're more clued up than a lot of adults appear to be; loads of them have no idea there is no automatic title or name change upon marriage.

I've always been Ms as I object to the notion that someone could tell if you were single or not by your name. Obviously invented by men so they knew what level of sexual harassment or discrimination they can attempt to subject us to.
That's the way I feel anyway. Some man called up my office and asked for a female staff member who he had never spoken to before. He then asked me if she was married?! Presuming to address her as Miss or Mrs. But the question sounded so weird and intrusive. I told him I had absolutely no idea. I knew she wasn't but it just does my head in for some reason.
My mum on the other hand is very proud to be Mrs dad's surname.

@SoupDragon Explain how I'm "rude and sneery". Is it because I don't agree with you?

No, can’t stand the sight of blood 😉

In all seriousness my friend is all three and still gets called Miss.

Personally and I have had friends tell me similar I never know how people want Ms or Mx pronounced so Mrs can seem safer until they correct it said how they wish it done.

I have no issue with how others wish to be called and will use what they want. I do find however I get told I'm wrong for wanting to be called Mrs.

I know I'm not that is my preference.