Being called Mrs *-*

[LorlieS]

I'm married and a Ms My Last Name - His Last Name (hubby also double-barrelled when we married).
So why do so many people insist on addressing me as a Mrs?! AIBU to be annoyed by this?

Most countries use miss for young girls and any adult woman will take Mrs, married or not. Similar to the convention of master and Mr for males.

In the UK Mrs is the correct title for a married woman who has changed name. Miss is used by unmarried women or married ones who keep their own name. Ms is used by divorcees.

So insisting on ms is very odd. You can't unilaterally change the use of language. It's hardly surprising that people get it wrong. Why didn't you use miss and keep your name?

You had better get a big badge OP.

As most parents won’t remember. It’s important to you. It’s not important to them and given you’ll only speak to them in any depth once or twice a year they won’t remember.

I'm sure people aren't doing it to be awkward or rude but I do agree that it's misogynistic to define a woman (and not do the same to a man) by marital status.
I am a single mum, and my dc have their dad's surname. I am
Frequently addressed as Mrs his last name - I have made peace with it since I know I can never stop people doing it and I don't want to feel angry about it.
While I agree with you about the misogyny of it on a broad societal level, I think in an individual level you have to let it roll over you or be driven mad by it.

It's not hypocritical at all.

A man's title doesn't denote his marital status. Why should a woman's?

@PrincessTeaSet You're entirely incorrect.

Not all of them.

" rest of the world" didn't really move on to use Ms. In my native language miss and mrs are the only two options, BUT it also goes by age and seniority rather than JUST marital status. All female teachers, doctors, shopkeepersand basically any working womam really are "mrs" (it's more respectful). Even in normal life no one will really call 50 year old "Miss" , "Mrs" is more respectful. Nowadays even young ones are automatically reffered to as mrs.
It started as marital indication but it has developed more into general title like Mr.

In UK I use all 3 depending on mood and TV license keeps calling me Mr... 😂

I always ask people to use my first name. Why not? I’m called by my first name at work. My mum thought my first name was good enough for me. So what’s weird about asking others to use it?

”Mum of a parent you used to teach”????

Doctors at our surgery seem to prefer first names. Teachers too although the children are expected to use Mrs etc.

Lol sorry I mean mum of a child!
It just felt weird because it wasn't the norm

Well obviously all your parents agree with me so can't be entirely incorrect

Well there's your answer, it still is the norm for a married woman to go by Mrs. Get a name badge or tell them is Ms.

In the UK Mrs is the correct title for a married woman who has changed name. Miss is used by unmarried women or married ones who keep their own name. Ms is used by divorcees.

Not quite right.

Mrs. is a valid choice for married women. Miss for unmarried. While there is a perception that Ms is for divorcees, it's not. It's an option for all women.b Usually ones that don't want to be defined by their marital status - married, single or divorced.

Sorry, when I meant “the rest of the world” I meant “the rest of the world when talking in this language (English).”

I’m mid fifties, married and am Ms Maidenname. Can’t remember the last time someone “Mrs Husbandname” ed me. Surely you introduce yourself as first name and then get called it?

Teachers are really the last redoubt of titles and surnames. Probably time for them to move on too.

I get the opposite. I’m a teacher, mid 30s, in a long (looong!) term relationship, two kids, unmarried though.

I constantly get called Ms. I’m not a Max, I’m a Miss.

My colleagues who have no kids but are similarly aged get called Miss.

This is by other staff/senior management. Kids just call us all Miss so not an issue that way.

I completely agree with you, and I find my GP surgery does exactly the same with me. I have asked many times for them to change their records but it makes no difference. I have returned post that was addressed to Ms rather than Mrs in the past but wouldn't do so in the case of any NHS letter for obvious reasons.

I always correct people who use the wrong title. I think it's every person's right to be addressed however they want, and for anyone to ignore their wishes is extremely rude.

Exactly this. I know married people who use Ms. I know single people including some older teenagers who use Ms.

Looking at history, single men were addressed as “Master”, that died out. I suspect in time Miss/Mrs will do the same.

I’d be fine with being known as either my first name or my last name, but I wouldn’t really be comfortable with all the kids knowing both my first and last name. Secondary school teacher.

Why on earth do other colleagues call you by your title and surname? That’s far more odd than Mrs / Miss / Ms

Thats really annoying! I don't think there is much you can do about it though really!

In my school its the opposite- every teacher was referred to as "Miss X" or just "Miiiiissssssssssss" regardless of our marital status!

You're unilaterally changing the use of language in this post. The level of invention and bullshitting people manage to come up with on this subject never ceases to amaze me.

The children at work refer to me as Miss Groovee. Yet my daughter's primary class call her Mrs Groovee.

I don't really care but I do get pissed when people refer to me as Ms as I've never liked it and wish there was a nicer word.

Sometimes its eitherinfront of the children e.g "Good Morning Mrs X, please can I borrow Johnny?" Or in passing in the corridor.

Or its just a friendly bit of banter, this one is harder to explain but makes sense if you work in schools I think.