Being called Mrs *-*

[LorlieS]

I'm married and a Ms My Last Name - His Last Name (hubby also double-barrelled when we married).
So why do so many people insist on addressing me as a Mrs?! AIBU to be annoyed by this?

I don't get why the need to disclose marital status? Is it a badge of honour?

Yes it is. As I said, it isn’t something that I take for granted.

@Notlikeamother I'm not sure a lot of women would agree with marriage = a badge of honour tbh.

I don’t care what other women think. I never thought I’d be able to get married and it makes me happy.

Other women are free to think what they like!

I get what you mean @Notlikeamother. While a lot of straight women resent the idea that marriage is an achievement, I can see how it would feel like one when it’s something you’ve had to fight for.

@ZebraDanios But using the term "Mrs" doesn't denote your sexuality?

Thanks. It does feel like an achievement.

@LorlieS No it doesn’t - do you feel that, in a similar position, you’d only want a title that acknowledged your marital status if it also acknowledged your sexuality? I kind of get that, but I wouldn’t feel the same - I guess I just like the equality of either both people in a marriage changing their title or neither of them doing it.

@ZebraDanios I wouldn't want a title that denoted my marital status regardless. Don't see why the need tbh? Men don't either.

Is it just me that has been reminded of this?

@LorlieS I get that you don’t (I’ve been on this thread a while!), I’m just saying I can see why @Notlikeamother does. (i’m not sure I see your point about titles not denoting sexuality.)

@ZebraDanios She's saying she's proud to be married, particularly because she's gay. But being Mrs doesn't reveal that.

No it doesn’t obviously, but I don’t care if random people think I’m straight, that’s just life.

I know what it signifies, and that’s all I’m bothered about.

I’m not bothered about revealing my sexuality to strangers (or hiding it)- the title is mine and has significance for me.

@Notlikeamother But you care if random people think you're single/married?

No, I’m not bothered. Other people don’t come into my thoughts about it. I don’t wear a wedding ring either so people might well presume I’m single or divorced or anything.

I enjoy being mrs for what it represents to me- the end of hundreds of years of being denied equal rights for the gay community, and decades for me personally being told I can’t have something as wonderful as marriage or as boring as equal pension rights because I’m a dyke.

I don’t think it does say whether you’re married or not? Legally I could use miss/ms or Mrs. I’m unaware of any law saying I can’t be referred to as either?!
Im now going through a divorce and haven’t given any thought as to whether I’ll remain a Mrs or become a Ms. But I don’t really like the sound of Ms, and I think Miss (IMO) is used more by girls rather than ladies,
My assumption would be that at 18 you change from a miss to a Mrs or Ms in the same way boys used to change from Master to Mr.
It is interesting (more interesting than the title used) that men in the U.K. seem to find it somehow offensive if women don’t take the man’s surname at marriage though… and interesting that men are so set on the children having their surname and the woman’s being forgotten!
A recent daily Mail post said about the Osbourne daughter wanting her children to have double barrelled surname to include hers and her husbands names and most of the comments were quite shocking!

That child v adult convention is common elsewhere eg France. In the UK Mrs is definitely used to denote a married (or previously married) woman, Miss unmarried and Ms has more generic meaning.

Yes but I think it’s assumption? I’ve never heard of a law stating you can’t become a Mrs without marrying ?

There is nothing legal about these titles, no. But that’s not why people (women) change them. That’s all down to societal pressure/expectations.

I just think it's not difficult to say 'what is your title?'.

I had both men and women not use the 'expected' title (an elderly gentleman once said to me 'it's Brigadier, darling' 🥹)

Because it used to be highly offensive to call someone Ms or miss when they were a Mrs

I think referring to people with titles such as Mr and Mrs and Ms should be stopped in general. But I honestly can't get too worked up about titles but if it annoys you then you're not being unreasonable to feel annoyed. Feelings are valid 🤷🏼‍♀️

Managed to get half way through this thread before I'd had enough. Seriously? That's your big problem in life? You have gone against the grain ( good for you) and now you are whining that, for the rest of the world, you are not the centre of their attention. So what if someone gets your title wrong? I get called Miss all the time by pupils, I've been married for twenty years. Who cares? As a teacher, pertains you could be more tuned in to what the students / parents are trying to tell you rather than whether they have noticed your stance on titles.

@Concannon88 "Because it used to be highly offensive to call someone Ms or miss when they were a Mrs"

When?