Being called Mrs *-*

[LorlieS]

I'm married and a Ms My Last Name - His Last Name (hubby also double-barrelled when we married).
So why do so many people insist on addressing me as a Mrs?! AIBU to be annoyed by this?

Are you making it clear your married? Because if you're wearing a ring and changing your surname, of course people will notice and think that if you are showing people you are married that you want to be referred to as married.

I'm married I haven't told my family as we did it for legal reasons. Consequently i dont wear a ring and havent changed my name. Noone knows and all my paperwork remains "Ms".

@ZebraDanios I'm currently primary.

@CommentNow DB'd my name to add on. As did my husband.

@LorlieS Ah ok. Well, see if this makes you feel any better: I have just gone onto my kids’ (primary) school website and checked the titles of all their teachers, and there’s one called Ms whom I’ve been erroneously calling Mrs for years. You can see from my other responses how I feel about this issue, and I have tremendous respect for this particular teacher…yet I’ve still been calling her by the wrong title! (Though I will make an effort to get it right from now on!) Can you see how an incorrect assumption isn’t always harmful or even meaningful, however frustrating it might be?

I think you are busy. Mrs is the traditional title for married women Ms was traditionally for divorcées and older unmarried women who no longer wanted to go by 'miss'. Obviously you can call yourself what you want but don't expect everyone to change their language to fit you. You want one title for all women ( I assume the one you picked Ms) I on the other hand will never be a Ms. I really dislike it. Happy with Mrs and if I wasn't married would be happy with Miss. There will be a whole range of opinions in between. My one please is to accept the range and not to start policing language.

How would people know that though?

Mrs is the traditional title for married women Ms was traditionally for divorcées and older unmarried women who no longer wanted to go by 'miss'. Obviously you can call yourself what you want but don't expect everyone to change their language to fit you.

I’m quite obviously an adult woman. Don’t wear a wedding ring. What assumptions are you going to make about my title?

I've always called my Doctor by her first name as she calls me by my first name 🤷🏻‍♀️ in both my dcs schools they call their teachers by their first names. I'm glad we're moving away from the idea that a doctor/teacher etc is above anyone else and should be referred to as Mr Jones

Quoted wrong post.

@OneMoreTime23 Why do either party need to "identify as married"?

Quite.

I haven’t RTFT (tar and feather me now) but these things are always frequented by the “proud to be a Mrs” brigade who are weirdly unphased that it’s only women that are expected to announce their marital status to all and sundry.

For the record absolutely nothing changed about my name or identity on marriage. Nor for my husband. It’s a legal protection in the main. Not the joining of families or whatever other bollocks people expect.

But happy to be part of the misogynistic practice of adopting your husbands surname…..?

Bit much. Replacing your dad’s name with your husband’s isn’t particularly feminist but it’s hardly misogyny.

House!

i Keep forgetting that women never own their names, only men do. 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Stormbornform women who didn't want to identify themselves by marital status have used Ms for many years- certainly since the 1960s. I have been Ms all my adult life-that's pushing 50 years. Ms is routinely used for adult women in the States- no suggestion of age or divorce.

@CultOfRamen @BIossomtoes I didn't replace my family name; I added to it (double-barrelled). My husband also did the same. Our daughter shares our last name. We are of the belief she is equally "ours" and wanted to reflect this here.
Had my husband not wanted to do this then I would have just kept my family name.
My last name in no way denotes my marital status and neither does my title.

Well we don’t, do we? Unless you were registered with your mum’s name.

Don't get married then Mrs.

This one has had the same name since birth. Doesn’t matter where it came from, it’s definitely mine. Not on loan. MINE.

Daughter has both of our names (not DBed). They’re both hers to do with as she pleases. Not borrowed from us. Not instantly replaced should she marry. HERS.

Wear a name badge. Parents will clock the rings and call you Mrs because that’s the norm. They can’t be expected to guess.

@NotQuiteNorma You're a man, right?

FFS. It’s a legal contract. The rationale for women changing names is outdated and sexist. It’s okay to eschew it as such. Regardless of the dinosaurs still roaming around.

@StormingNorman What rings?

Good grief how insufferable you sound i feel for the poor kids in your classes

@Tontostitis Because I don't want to be addressed with an incorrect (misogynistic) title? Wow.